How do you handle Stare Downs??

[Sens55]

Bart,

 

I wouldn't say that my statement about cultural differences contradicts someone elses post about it being an instinctive one. These are not mutually exclusive differences, and, in fact, may be a combination of both. Both statements were broad generalizations, not obervations of specific behavior, so without doing a study, we can not know for sure if either or both of us are right (or wrong).

[Ben]

Bart,

 

From what i can tell you seem to make a habbit of exploiting pitfalls of a target individuals mistakes, and you also exploit opertunities to pick out sayings and turn them against people.

 

so for this reason, i shall explain - to the word - what i meant by "i have her" and also the phrase i used of "The point is you have her".

 

by me saying "i have her", i do not mean i own, control, see of her lower, or anything of the sorts. there is a reason i am with that girl - because she wants to be in a relationship with me more than anyone else (at this point in time). knowing this, there is no need to be concerned about another man simply looking at her.

 

also for the second phrase, "the point is you have her", a similar meaning. only me reassuring someone else.

 

Regards,

 

Ben

[Bart the Lover]

Ben: maybe I have been unfair on you. If you feel I am getting at you, or

 

subjecting you to ridicule, then I am truly sorry. That was not my intention.

 

Perhaps I am a very petty person, but what irked me about your post was

 

your use of the word 'babe'. To me, this isn't just saying a woman is very

 

attractive, it's reducing her to her looks only. In other words, treating her

 

as though her face were the sum total of her being. This, together with

 

the phrases I picked out (which I do think were somewhat ambiguous, but

 

I accept your explanation) led me to think unfavourably of you.

 

This is the problem with internet communication. It's so easy to

 

misconstrue what we say to one another. I don't know you, and I only

 

have words on a screen to go by. I have to respond to something!

 

Sometimes I will get it wrong--I'm human.

 

You wrote:

From what i can tell you seem to make a habbit of exploiting pitfalls of a target individuals mistakes, and you also exploit opertunities to pick out sayings and turn them against people.

 

I honestly don't believe I do this, and again, I am sorry if I come across

 

this way. Could you give me examples? I didn't think our paths had

 

crossed that much, unless you are talking about my posting history. If

 

I don't follow what a poster has written, I may ask for clarification, so

 

I can respond better to them. If they write something I disagree with, I

 

may say so. This is exactly how I wish to be treated.

 

Maybe my style does appear a bit fault-finding. I just enjoy debate.

 

Sometimes I get carried away.

 

Sincerely,

 

Bart the Lover

[ShaolinBlade]

o.k...So I guess pyun ju mok to the throat of the next man that looks at her is outa the question huh . No just kidding, I guess what were gonna have to do is just learn how to drown out the world around us. I guess i really can't do anything about it EVERY time it happens, so logically im gonna have to distract her when this happens or tell her to pay no mind to it. From what I understand so far there's no reason to be crying about it in the first place. I appreciate everyones responses to my question, I just wanted to know how you all would react. Thanks Alot

[Ben]

Bart,

 

yes i am going by posting history. i see the word "babe" as a word like "honey" or "sweetie". these two dont mean you'll spread her on your toast, or put her in your mouth and chew her like an M&M - its one of those compliments that has the same effect imo. and a lot of people i've met, atleast in england, think the same.

 

this is a problem with the internet, but i dont feel it was in this case.

 

i think its best to leave it here and not go spamming the thread like i have been.

[Sens55]

Ben & Bart,

 

I think you might have a cultural issue here. Ben is from the UK, and Bart, you appear to be in the U.S. Ben I think what Bart is saying on the "Babe" issue is that here in the U.S. many women consider the term "Babe" to be condescending. And in our "Politically Correct" society of today it is not often used because it can offend the recipient (or someone else who overhears it) even if it were not meant that way.

 

Bart, you need to be careful in dealing with issues that are semantic in nature. Context is often difficult to discern from just a post. And this forum has people from all over the world and different socio-economic groups. You cannot fairly take the words, as you read them in in your American English, and accept them as the perfect verbalization of the person's meaning.

 

There, I hope that settles that. Now, let's find something more fun to talk about....like MA!

[ShirKhan]

If it was really extremely offensive I would simply watch the offender out of the corner of my eye until he went to the bathroom. Ideally you'll catch him at the urinal with both hands occupied and a little push on the back of his head, and it's lights out.

[battousai16]

not the most honorable route, but definitely practical

[Treebranch]

Smile at them to let them know, "Yeah, she's hot huh." They usually will smile back. The safer thing to do is ignore the ignorant, because some people are so jealous that they want to be provoked. They want to kick the guys * who has the girl they wish they had. I've had that happen to me in the past. It can be trying so I sympathize with you. Why'd you move to Texas? Come to California where there are so many hot chicks yours will get lost among them.

[Guy_Who_Fights]

I completely understand what you mean about these guy's staring being disrespectful. What I always do is simply wave my hand in front of the guy's line of vision (he won't be able to help but notice a hand in his way and will then look at you) and say, "her eyes are up here, pal." Even if it is a guy with his girlfriend or wife, do it. The girl they are with will make sure they get what they deserve for staring once they get home. Now if your wife has the most entrancing eyes in the world and they are what everyone is staring at, then I don't have a solution to offer, but in the case of staring at her body, what I mentioned above has never failed to put an end to the staring because it gets the guy's attention and then announces publically to everyone around what he was doing. The most important part is that he will know that your wife is hearing your proclaimation of his actions.