How do you handle Stare Downs??

[ShaolinBlade]

As martial artists we have the responsibility to refrain from violent behavior unless you or someone elses personal space is violated in a derrogatory way. Well Im not sure how I should react whenever I walk into a restaurant with my wife and the bussers and waiters are all staring at my wife. I can't even sit in peice and enjoy my meal cause everytime I look up some dude is staring at my wife. I usually respond by giving the evil stare back at them until they look away, but sometimes they don't care they look away and start staring again after I look away. I AM a jealous man, but the fact remains that It makes her uncomfortable when people stare at her. Not only that but it's JUST FLAT OUT DISRESPECTFUL!! It's so bad I've got Fathers walking their baby's in their stroller and their wife with them just staring at my wife. I also get alot of punks and gangsta wannabe's giving me challenging stares. This happens everywhere we go. I can't possibly beat up every guy that gives me the stare down, I would get sent to jail every other day. Some days I just blo w it off and other days my fists clench up and Im very close to popping someone. How would you all handle the situation???

[Sens55]

Either your wife is unbelievably hot, or you've got a chip on your shoulder...or maybe both. I try to take consolation in knowing that, no matter how much they look, she's going home with me.

[Warp Spider]

I don't see what's so disrespectful about staring at an attractive woman. You could carry a boom-box/ghetto blaster playing "Der Fuehrer's Face." It's a pretty safe bet people will stare straight ahead and avoid eye contact.

[Nikkolaiashimon]

im not going to judge, but you sound like your over reacting a bit. my girlfriend used to do this a lot, she always felt like she was being stared at, but we talked about it, and she realized that she was just over reacting. and that it was just people randomly looking over, if anything at all. Id suggest you also try to take a look at this objectively, and maybe try to notice that people arent always staring at you. People are just people, and just because they look your way doesnt mean they want your wife... take a chill pill. And honestly im not trying to be harsh, ive been through this personally, and just sharing what i learned.

 

I hope this helps a bit.

[G95champ]

"Your a daisy if you do" Doc Holliday in Tombstone

 

Honestly none of us can say till we are there. Im a pretty crazy guy and I would think I would do somthing like blow him a kiss. Thats prob. not the best idea but I figure if I ever get to the point someone wants to start me down eye to eye im going to finish the game.

[Black Dragon]

Actually you should take it as a compliment. Do you want to be with a woman nobody wants to look at? As long as it isn't blatantly disrespectful don't worry, those guys giving you challenging stares wish they were you anyway. Dont get tricked into doing something stupid and going to jail, b/c how many guys are gonna stare at her when she is alone?

[shotochem]

You are most fortunate that your wife is that attractive. Even more fortunate that she is your wife and goes home with you after every outing.

 

Try not to be so insecure about it. Unless someone does somthing in a threatening matter you have nothing to worry about. They are just admiring her beauty and are wishing they could be as lucky as you. If you feel someone is staring at her, fell free to give her a kiss or put your arm around her. This gently reinforces the fact that she is taken to any potentially offensive male without being confrontational.

[Bart the Lover]

ShaolinBlade wrote:

I AM a jealous man

 

Isn't this the key to your reactions? I think it's unlikely that every

 

man, everywhere you go, is staring at your wife. I think most people

 

probably look a little longer at those they find attractive (I know I do)

 

but we don't stare. However, there will always be berks who gawp. It's

 

annoying, but I think you should simply ignore them, or move somewhere

 

else if it's bothering your wife. Which brings me to this:

 

Warp Spider wrote:

I don't see what's so disrespectful about staring at an attractive woman.

 

Do you like being stared at? No? Why not? Because it's rude and

 

aggressive. Attractive women are not pretty pictures created for you to

 

fix your gaze on.

 

But back to you.

 

I think the emotions you describe are worrying. You seem to be

 

interpreting what are probably unthreatening admiring glances to be

 

hostile and aggressive. Has it occured to you that they only look back

 

because you do? Maybe they think you are staring at them. It sounds as

 

though you spend all your time scoping the room/street for stares, which

 

must be an uncomfortable way to live.

 

Jealousy is close to possessiveness. Most of your post is concerned with

 

how you feel. How dare they look at your woman? You do not

 

own her, nor can you control her interactions with others. What would you

 

do if she had an affair? Kill the other guy? This is the impression I'm

 

getting.

 

Stop worrying about other people so much. You can't control them. Just

 

concentrate on your wife, and on her company.

 

Regards,

 

Bart the Lover

[JerryLove]

As martial artists we have the responsibility to refrain from violent behavior unless you or someone elses personal space is violated in a derrogatory way.

News to me... I must have missed a meeting. We do seem to have that requirement as citizens of civilized country; but I am aware of no such rule I signed up for when starting MA.

Well Im not sure how I should react whenever I walk into a restaurant with my wife and the bussers and waiters are all staring at my wife. I can't even sit in peice and enjoy my meal cause everytime I look up some dude is staring at my wife.

 

You could try the "take a picture it will last longer" defense; but, like others here, I'd suggest you "get over it".

I AM a jealous man, but the fact remains that It makes her uncomfortable when people stare at her. Not only that but it's JUST FLAT OUT DISRESPECTFUL!!

 

It is? Why? Who made up these rules?

It's so bad I've got Fathers walking their baby's in their stroller and their wife with them just staring at my wife. I also get alot of punks and gangsta wannabe's giving me challenging stares.

 

You either need to get your supermodel out of the 4-inch stillettos and fishnets, or put a bag on quazimoto's face... whichever is appropriate to your wife... I'd also avoid taking your wife around a lot of punks and gangsta-wannabe... besides, you might get a non-wannabe that busts a cap in yo * and takes her for his own (if Cindy Crawford... If quazimoto, he would take her for the circuis).

This happens everywhere we go. I can't possibly beat up every guy that gives me the stare down, I would get sent to jail every other day.

 

Who knows, you might even loose sometimes.

Some days I just blo w it off and other days my fists clench up and Im very close to popping someone. How would you all handle the situation???

Case-by-case, day-by-day. Broad solutions include reclusing yur wife indoors or the use of burlap.

[Warp Spider]

ShaolinBlade wrote:

 

Do you like being stared at? No? Why not? Because it's rude and

 

aggressive. Attractive women are not pretty pictures created for you to

 

fix your gaze on.

 

Actually I quite enjoy it. In fact, I'm propositioned in public by members of both genders on a fairly regular basis. Though that would be dirty, it's still kind of flattering - though when it's another guy it's kind of awkward. I think that being stared at is awesome.