superleeds Posted September 9, 2003 Posted September 9, 2003 Go for it. u only live once. Read a book!
shortstick Posted September 16, 2003 Posted September 16, 2003 Na, bad idea. If you really love your training. Its really more the instructors part to not date students. As another person said, it can ruin a school. Good luck "The more we change, the more we stay the same"
Valithor Posted September 16, 2003 Posted September 16, 2003 Shortstick, could you explain how one relationship could ruin a whole school? Unless it is a one-instructor school... Keep Smiling!
Warp Spider Posted September 16, 2003 Posted September 16, 2003 I think Shortstick might be of the opinion that if things don't work out, then suddenly everyone's going to hate everyone else. In my experience, that only happens among teenagers though. Paladin - A holy beat down in the name of God!
shortstick Posted September 16, 2003 Posted September 16, 2003 Well not to bash on the younger crowd......but I was an instructor at a school for about 7 years. During that time there were several times when some of the younger(early 20's) asst. instructors got involved with students. They dated for a time and then when intrest faded it became weird to be in classes tought by that instructor....later they stopped their training. Another instance there were complaints of favoritism when an instructor was on a testing board for a student whom he was dating. Of course he judged them all the same, but it raised jelousy issues with some other females that found this same instructor attractive....it always seemed to cause a mess when anyone got involved with a student. But on the other side, I know couples that got married that hooked up in the dojo. From my point of view since I was managing the school and had to deal with the complaints, it was better to have the no dating rule. But if your in love.....well then..... "The more we change, the more we stay the same"
Warp Spider Posted September 17, 2003 Posted September 17, 2003 People who complain about favourtism are obviously not interested in the annihilation of the enemies of mankind. Who cares what they say? Paladin - A holy beat down in the name of God!
Coco Posted September 23, 2003 Posted September 23, 2003 NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!! Sorry, but I can speak from experience here...I've had several students of mine ask me out, confess feelings for me, etc...it's NOT A GOOD IDEA! I always had a personal policy of not dating anyone I taught directly (it wasn't something the head instructor really enforced or anything). So when my students would ask me out, I'd have to turn them down. Your instructor may have a policy like this, so asking her out would be futile. You'll end up embarassing yourself, and classes will be awkward for both of you for a little while. I always tried to treat them the same, but it was difficult...I felt really guilty and they were always looking mopey and upset. Even if your instructor doesn't have a policy against dating her own students: would you really want to date her? Consider this: while you're dating, are you going to continue to learn from her? Will you expect special treatment? Will she be awkward around you? Will sparring her be difficult? What if you fall in love and the relationship ends? You'll still see each other at every class. What if YOU end up breaking HER heart? Remember, she's the higher ranking belt, and she could seriously abuse you if necessary! Personally, I don't think it would be a healthy relationship for either of you, simply based on my experience with the situation. I never dated any of my students, because my mom and I had a long discussion about it, and decided it was a bad idea. But then again, maybe everything will go perfectly between you two, you'll be together for the rest of your lives and live happily ever after I'm just telling you my experience. completely agree, dont do it unless ur thinking about quitting anytime soon Shito Ryu (3rd kyu) RETIRED - 2002-2003Now studying BJJ(2006)
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