UK_newbie Posted July 15, 2003 Posted July 15, 2003 Am I the only married man to be under pressure to find a 'men only' martial art? I can see the logic of course, spending time grappling with members of the opposite sex isn't something which should be done when you're 34 and married with kids. But which martial art is sexist enough to say 'men only training nights'? Any ideas? So far all I've found are 'extreme fitness' kickboxing ('kickrobatics?') which just scare off most people ( me included). Any ideas? Anyone? Simon 'Mean, Moody, and Magnificent'* *two out of three's not bad
Kirves Posted July 15, 2003 Posted July 15, 2003 Geesh... I'd rather roll around with women than other men.
shotochem Posted July 15, 2003 Posted July 15, 2003 Have your wife join up. If she's not into that, my son used to train with me, try getting one of the kids involved. Surely she would not get jealous when you have a kid along. (BTW, my kid still comes along though he does not train anymore.) That way she gets a break from the kid and you get to get out!!! Pain is only temporary, the memory of that pain lasts a lifetime.
karate_woman Posted July 15, 2003 Posted July 15, 2003 Maybe you should bring your wife to join in - or even watch - a class or two. Is there a reason for her concern? Are you already taking class? How many women participate? I suppose you could also talk to the instructor about your spouse's concerns about grappling women and see if there are any suggestions. I hope she understands the grappling in class is not like the m/f grappling you'd see on the internet as a fetish sort of thing; it is fun, but hard work, and the female members of class are more often the ones to be uncomfortable with the situation. I've found that when men are uncomfortable they generally worry about hurting the women, or perhaps even the possibility of losing to a woman (though I haven't heard anyone say it). There seem to be more women who worry about rolling on the floor with men (I'm not one of them) - the most common reason I've heard is the one you mentioned, but there are a few others reasons they don't like it - religion, being a former victim, and fear are a few that come to mind. I generally find that women grapple in a faster, more technical way then men; we basically need to be fast and do the move correctly because we can't (generally) just overpower our opponents and "force" a move to work when it is being done wrong (I HAVE seen men pull that off, however). For that matter, even when we are doing it right, when we are applying it against a bigger opponent they can power their way out if they notice what we're doing - that's where the speed comes in. I think grappling against men is VERY valuable from the women's point of view - if all of the opponents we grappled were other small women we'd have a very inflated sense of our grappling abilities, and we really need to apply the moves against men too. Trust me, it IS different. As for your original question, I haven't heard of any "men only" martial arts, though I must admit I haven't been looking for them. Perhaps at a men only gym or something? I have seen "women only" classes and schools, however, because some women won't train with men at all. Something else that occurred to me is that not all martial arts clubs practice grappling (especially striking arts), so you might just try to find a club that doesn't grapple - or doesn't grapple often - and if you've talked to your instructor ahead of time about the concern about m/f grappling perhaps they can pair you up with a male partner (often they pair you up based on size anyway). The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. -Lao-Tse
ninjanurse Posted July 15, 2003 Posted July 15, 2003 Who's pressuring you...you or your spouse? The suggestions given already are good but I doubt you will find a mens only art these days as most serious women martial artists do not have a problem grappling with men (and vice versa) and there are more and more of us showing up in classes . You may however find a Defensive Tactics/Military type group willing to have you as a student that will have less females-but probably there will always be one or two. "A Black Belt is only the beginning."Heidi-A student of the artsTae Kwon Do,Shotokan,Ju Jitsu,Modern Arnishttp://the100info.tumblr.com/
UK_newbie Posted July 15, 2003 Author Posted July 15, 2003 You make a lot of sense, but no real help I'm afraid. We've not had a babysitter in years, and it's hard enough to justify going training instead of staying in, but it's impossible to justify training in a mixed class. (I trained in a mixed class for the last month, and my request not to grapple with a female partner earnt me a bloody lip as a punishment. I guess I need an understanding sensei) Thanks again for the replies, if anyone remembers any ancient oriental art which is unspeakably sexist (without being frighteningly macho) please let me know. Alternatively a men only training night would be good too. Thanks again
chh Posted July 15, 2003 Posted July 15, 2003 Sorry, I don't think you're going to find it. Just picture the sign up on the door of that "sexist" school you're seeking that says "NO WOMEN ALLOWED", that's just not going to happen in this day and age. The bloody lip is about what you should expect for that kind of request, there are some pretty offensive implications in it. If you seriously want to train, you don't need an understanding sensei, you need to communicate with your wife. Grappling in a martial arts class is simply NOT a sexual activity. That said, the possibility of private instruction occurs to me. Don't know how you'd go about finding it.
UK_newbie Posted July 15, 2003 Author Posted July 15, 2003 Offensive? I'd be interested to hear others' views on that one. One of us needs to get out more.
CheekyMusician Posted July 15, 2003 Posted July 15, 2003 As others have said, the possibility of finding a men only martial art or training night is unlikely. If you do find one, then it'll probably just be down to luck, not policy and they'll still be a chance that a woman could join at any time. As someone has already suggested, try and find a striking art that you enjoy. Karate, TaeKwon Do etc. don't usually encorporate much grappling (some schools don't encorporate any grappling at all), so maybe give them a go. The only "martial art" that you might find very few females in is boxing. There are quite a few boxing schools round about here, and as far as I know there are no female members of any of them. Smile. It makes people wonder what you've been up to.
chh Posted July 15, 2003 Posted July 15, 2003 Offensive?Well, yeah! You join a class and state that you will not grapple with females...what does that say except that you do not trust the female students' intentions?? Doesn't matter whether you mean it that way or not. It's bordering on suggesting that women can't be serious martial artists because they're unable to distinguish ground work from foreplay. I shouldn't have said you should expect a bloody lip for it, though, I don't really think that way. Perhaps I DO need to get out more.
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