Is Chivalry Really Dead?

[SBN Doug]

This post was originally published as an article in a dedicated KarateForums.com Articles section, which is no longer online. After the section was closed, this article was most to the most appropriate forum in our community.

 

"The Days of Old."

 

I've often thought that I must have missed my time in history by about a few hundred years. Riding through the countryside, clad in armor, defending the King and kingdom from all threats. Or perhaps running across a field, charging with Katana drawn, to defend my Shogun or emperor. Ok, perhaps this is a little too romantic a version of how things were. Maybe I've thrown in a little more drama and have neglected all the blood, gore and barbarism. However, no one can deny that there is a certain draw to those times of violence and constant conflict. For the majority of people I've talked with, the draw has been because of the honor and chivalry that is depicted in so many of the historical recreations of that time period. Granted, chivalry is a term usually reserved for only the age of knights. However, the samurai and their code of honor exhibited many of the same traits.

 

I can't really attribute my character and beliefs to any single influence. I've just always seemed to have a deep seeded belief that those with a gift or power should be honor bound to use it to benefit society. Perhaps not with the intent of benefiting all society as a whole, but at least as far as their area of influence can stretch. A manager should do their best to help the people reporting to them, not leave them hung out to dry when layoff time comes. Teachers should act in a responsible and upright manner when helping to mold each new generation of youth as they come through the halls, not take advantage of their position by abusing them or worse. And in every case, with every level of person in our societal scheme, it is up to the strong to defend the weak, not use them as stepping-stones to become stronger.

 

I've given a short version of my first martial art instruction in a couple of older threads. I've wanted to learn the martial arts ever since the first Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee movies I saw. The skills they displayed were remarkable to me at the time. And, the chivalry they displayed, defending those that couldn't defend themselves, kindled the feelings I had always had and wish someone had done for me when I was the defenseless. However, I lived in an extremely small town and no martial art instruction was to be found for 30 miles. So it went, until my senior year in High School. A young man moved into town and opened a small martial arts studio in his spare time. It seemed to be a mix of mainly Shotokan and Tae Kwon Do, but that is irrelevant. It was a martial art and that's all I needed to know. I signed up almost immediately and loved every second I was there. I practiced what little I had learned almost constantly and everything looked like it would work out great.

 

Unfortunately, things aren't always what they seem. A few weeks after starting class, a few guys showed up at the dojo. At first, I thought they were inquiring about classes. I soon was able to pick up that they were pals of my new instructor. Now this wouldn't normally concern me, but I knew these guys. Actually, in that small town, everybody knew everybody. These guys were a couple years older than me and dropped out of high school as juniors. They weren't "really" working anywhere and yet they drove up in a relatively new Camero and Harley. You do the detective work. I was thrown into a dilemma. I was just hit with the fact that the person I thought was to define honor and righteous behavior was hanging out every weekend with the local drug dealers. Did this automatically mean he was using? No. Did this mean he was doing anything illegal? No. What this meant was that he was friends with these guys, had to know what they were up to and still hung out with them. I hung around a couple more weeks to be sure it wasn't a one time thing. Unfortunately, it wasn't. I had a decision to make and it didn't take long to make it. As much as I had longed to study the martial arts, it meant as much to me that I learn them from someone that I respected as it did to learn them. If chivalry was dead here, I would continue my search.

 

Thanks to college and family, I wasn't able to start studying again for about six years. At that time I happened into a small school that I thought was Tae Kwon Do. While it wasn't what I had planned for long-term study, it was certainly going to get me into shape and help my flexibility while I looked for what was right for me. I met a small man inside, who offered me an introductory offer for a couple months. This man turned out to be Master Barry Harmon, highest ranking non-oriental in the world for Kuk Sool Won. His wife is the highest-ranking woman in the world. Together, they ran a school that was not only a test of the mind and body, but one in which the principles of chivalry are to be observed at all times, both inside and outside of the dojang.

 

And so, here I am. Approximately 10 years later. I've moved almost 3,000 miles from that dojang and have to drive an hour each day to continue my training at the nearest Kuk Sool Won dojang, but I've been able to pursue my training with a clear conscience and my longing has been fulfilled. However, now I relate to closely with a character many on these forums are familiar with. Rurouini Kenshin, the wandering samurai, uses his skills to defend the weak as he wanders through a society that has started to forget the ways of honor. I know, he's atoning for his prior acts and I have no such atonement to make. Still, I feel sometimes as if I am wandering through a sea of honor less crowds. People stabbing former friends in the back to get up the corporate ladder, parents fighting at their kid's sports events, younger and younger criminals holding up the local gas station, etc. I do what I can because I feel it's my duty. Does this mean I'll pull a Steven Segal and take on an armed robber at the store? Of course it doesn't. I will, however, make sure I get a description and license. I will work to cool tempers as they arise. I will influence, where I can, the actions of others being tempted to do wrong to someone else. In short, I live my life with chivalry and attempt to kindle that desire in all I see a desire to. I don't think for a minute I'm going to single handedly change the world. But perhaps if I succeed in influencing enough people to follow the right path and others like me do the same, then there will always be enough of us to counter the evil influences of the world.

 

So, is chivalry really dead? Heck no, not as long as I'm still around. We're just harder to pick out of the crowd without our shiny armor on.

[Patrick]

Interesting piece. Thank you for the submission.

[Coudo]

Yes, very good post, and a great attitude

[gheinisch]

Very nice article Doug. The world could use more people that hold ethics and morals to a higher standard. Our Hanshi takes the time to relate stories from personnel experience as well as the more traditional stories to hopefully plant some moral seeds into our students, especially the younger ones. I hope more there are more schools that do the same.

[Rich_2k3]

So, is chivalry really dead? Heck no, not as long as I'm still around. We're just harder to pick out of the crowd without our shiny armor on.

 

I like that, a membrable quote .

[ZR440]

After reading your nicely worded article it reminded me of what I did last Friday in the sports bar I frequently visit. You stated you try to cool tempers as they arise. Well, there were a few beerhounds exchanging barbs right next to me and I explained to them that their petty trashtalking was meaningless and to go to jail for fighting in a bar would not be a good way of starting out a weekend. The one guy kept asking me if I was a police officer. No, but I was convincing enough to change his mind about starting a brawl. Perhaps it was my own laziness for not wanting to get off my barstool to throw someone in a hold long enough for the bouncers to take out the trash, or maybe it was the conduct expected of a martial artist that inspired me to do it.

[Red J]

Doug, people like you do make a difference. Thanks for sharing your story.

[DarkAngel_Azrel]

red is right ur an insperation to us all

[SBN Doug]

Bows to you all. Thank you.

 

Dark, I love your avatar!

[Rotten Head Fok]

KSN Doug, great read, I bow to you.