Y'allbonics

[SaiFightsMS]

Not to offend anyone with a souther heritage. I saw this and thought it might bring a chuckle or too. Rember if you are from the south that this is meant to be just a joke.

 

Y'allbonics

 

The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of the

 

seemingly endless taxpayer dollar pipeline through Washington

 

designating Southern slang, or Y'allbonics, as a language to be

 

taught in ALL Southern schools.

 

The following are excerpts from the Y'allbonics/English dictionary:

 

1) HEIDI (noun) meaning hello

 

2) HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage:

 

"Heidi, Hire yew?"

 

3) BARD (verb) Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow" Usage: "My

 

brother bard my pickup truck."

 

4) JAWJUH (noun) The state north of Florida. Capitol is Atlanta

 

(Lanner southern pronunciation)

 

Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck and took it to

 

Lanner.

 

5) BAMMER (noun) The state west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Birmingham.

 

Usage: " A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,00 in

 

improvements."

 

6) MUNTS (noun) A calendar division.

 

Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd

 

from him in munts."

 

7) THANK (verb) Cognitive process. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a

 

bare."

 

BARE (noun) An alcoholic beverage made of barley,hops, and yeast.

 

 

 

9) IGNERT (adjective) Not smart. "Arkansas native."

 

Usage: "Them bammer boys sure are ignert!"

 

10) RANCH (noun) tool used for tightning bolts.

 

Usage: "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that picup truck my

 

brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

 

11) ALL (noun) A petroleum-based lubricant.

 

Usage: I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup

 

truck.

 

12) FAR (noun) A conflagration.

 

Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup

 

truck, that thangs's gonna catch far."

 

13) TAR (noun) A rubber wheel.

 

Usage: Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat

 

tar in my pickup truck.

 

14) TIRE (noun) A tall monument.

 

Usage: "Lord willing" and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to

 

see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime.

 

15) RE-TARD (verb) To stop working.

 

Usage: " My grampaw re-tard at age 65."

 

16) FAT ( noun),(verb) - a battle or combat

 

Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh.

 

17) RATS (noun) Entitle power or privilege.

 

Usage: "We Southerners are willin to fat for are rats."

 

18) CHEER (adverb) In this place.

 

Usage: "Just set that bare rat cheer.

 

19) FARN (adjective) Not domestic.

 

Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed..must be from some farn

 

country."

 

20) DID (adjective) Not alive.

 

Usage: "He's did, Jim."

 

21) ARE (noun) A colorless, odorless gas containing oxygen.

 

Usage: "He cain't breathe...give'im some ARE!"

 

22) BOB WAR (noun) A sharp, twisted cable.

 

Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

 

23) JEW HERE (noun) and (verb) contraction.

 

Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob

 

war fence cump'ny?"

 

24) HAZE (a contraction)

 

Usage: "Is bubba smart?" "Naw...haze ignert."

 

25) SEED (verb) past tense of "to see".

 

Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City."

 

26) VIEW contraction (verb) and pronoun.

 

Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City...view?"

 

27) GUBMINT (noun) A bureaucratic instituion.

 

Usage: "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."

[monkeygirl]

:lol:

 

I was born in the South so I can attest to some of this. OK OK so my family moved up North when I was 3, but it is STILL MY HOMELAND!!

 

Even up here in Pennsylvania, we use some of those. One I find to be intensely interesting is the popular pronunciation (note my use of big words to counteract my submission that I speak Y'allbonics) of the word "Nuclear". For some reason they all call it "Nuke-yoo-ler".

 

I just got back from Florida yesterday When I was there I saw a commercial on TV for a furniture store. They were selling many types of "beads"...apparently the lady meant beds.

[ZeRo]

[ninjanurse]

Very funny!!!