Martial Arts Addiction

[Maestro]

Read these and see how many apply to you. Remember, acceptance is the first step towards beating an addiction. But if you do more than five, sorry it's hopeless, you'll just have to train 'till you die.

 

You're addicted to MA's if...

 

* you say to the salesman in the men's store, "Nice pants, but I don't think I can kick in them."

 

* when you say "I'm sorry," and involuntarily bow.

 

* you go to the shoe store to try on shoes...

 

-Instead of walking or jogging around the store, you practice pivoting,

 

sweeps, stances and kicks.

 

-You check to see if the shoe has a sufficiently hard striking surface and whether it protects the toes well, or that it is soft enough to use your natural striking surfaces.

 

-and lastly, you don't even care if (and they probably are) the other patrons are looking at you funny.

 

* Now when every time you pass a wall you start to wonder:'Is that

 

structural or drywall?' THEN you know you've gone overboard.

 

* When you hit your head on a low doorway or ceiling and kick it in anger and _damage_ it.

 

* "GAK! NO! The *left* side of the bathrobe goes on top...."

 

* "What was I doing in my office when I was spinning around and flailing my arms and legs? Ahhhhhmmmmmmm....."

 

* when you're practicing your arm blocks while driving down the highway,

 

notice someone in another car staring at you, and suddenly turn your block

 

into vigorously fanning away an imaginary fly

 

* when you use various strikes to turn lights off and on;

 

* don your clothing with kicks, thrusts, and punches

 

* open and close doors with spinning kicks

 

* find yourself idly doing iaido and kenjitsu moves with the plastic knives

 

at the fast food place

 

* can't walk by anybody else from your school without casually exchanging a flurry of mock strikes and kicks

 

* haven't gotten over the phase of seeing everybody walking around with a

 

blanket of little red cross-hairs on all their vital spots

 

* leap to your feet and shriek with indignation while watching "Kung Fu",

 

"Walker, Texas Ranger", and "Highlander" at home

 

* deliberately go to see martial arts movies in the theater so you can leap

 

to your feet and shriek with indignation during the movie, out in the

 

parking lot, and with all your friends the next time you're at class

 

* find yourself practicing bo staff techniques in miniature with your pencil

 

during dull meetings

 

* try to backfist the correct floor button on the inside of the elevator,

 

based on your memory of the button's location, before you get in far enough to see it

 

* notice you never stand with your arms crossed or your hands in your

 

pockets

 

* tend to keep at least one flavour of martial arts weapon close at hand by

 

your bed when you sleep

 

* buy shoes either because they're particularly flexible or have steel toes

 

* have at least one fantasy where you are a martial arts hero and end the

 

fight by saying something *so* cool that you make Arnold Shwarzenegger and Clint Eastwood look like nervous chatterboxes

 

* have begun to master the reflex to commit a very messy homicide when,

 

directly after someone finds out you practice martial arts, they immediately

 

ask "Are you a Black Belt ???"

 

* feel an urge to bow every time you enter or leave a room

 

* Often address a profesor or boss by "sensei" or "sahbumnim"

 

* When standing in line you find yourself practicing some stance from your

 

art

 

* When you bow going into and out of the bathroom

 

* When you don't use any tools while splitting firewood.

 

* When you are introduced to someone and you bow to greet them.

 

* Whenever you see some wood or concrete, even things like stools or

 

tables, and get excited while you picture just how you would go about

 

breaking it. Then you get funny looks as you feel it and give it a look of

 

hard concentration, then maybe measure off a few times.

[monkeygirl]

I've seen this list before, but this is the first time I've seen a poll attached to it

[SaiFightsMS]

It missed do you say ossu when someone asks something where an appropriate respons to do you understand is needed.

[Maestro]

LOL saifight. Yes monkeygirl, this and some other recommended good stuff can be found at:

 

http://users.binary.net/thomcat/Stupidma.html

[Maestro]

Shoot I broke it. Anybody know how to re-open a poll? SaiFightMS?

[ZeRo]

i love them and i do 3. i wish i could do more....

[Maestro]

Once I walked into a class at the beginning of the semester, and wouldn't you know it, my TA was wearing this white outfit with a brown belt. Of course to me, they weren't normal clothes at all, it was a doebuck, so without even thinking I just bowed, full out, right in front of my new classmates. Even worse was that I was wearing a backback, and almost fell right over. Ah, what a day...

[ZeRo]

ooow i just remembered today i was chatting to my friend (who also does TKD) and we were goin to R.E and just as i walked into the class for some reason i turned to the teacher bowed and sat down on a seat. until i realised what i had done and joined everyone else in laughing at me!

[LeaF]

I do a couple of them....

It missed do you say ossu when someone asks something where an appropriate respons to do you understand is needed.

This I am very guility of

[SaiFightsMS]

To edit your poll click on the box that says edit in the upper right hand corner of your original post you opened the thread with. That should let you edit your poll.