BonnyBoy Posted January 24, 2003 Posted January 24, 2003 I believe these are the Darwin awards, but I found some of these so stupid, which is why I named the thread what I did. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot id something that can only inspire wonder: He peered down the barreland tried the trigger again. This time it worked. And now, the honorable mentions The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one ofits men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine out and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved. ******************************************************** A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her. ******************************************************** After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Beltway had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence,the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone aiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days. ************************************************************** An American teenager was in the hospital yesterday recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit. ******************************************************** A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, puts a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? $15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, was a crime committed?) ******************************************************** A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and carrying a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled, "FREEZE, MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A ****-UP!" For a moment, everyone was silent. Then the snickers started. The guard completely lost it and doubled over laughing. It probably saved his life, because he'd been about to draw his gun. He couldn't have drawn and fired before the thief got him. The thief ran away and is still at large. In memory of the event, the banker later put a plaque on the wall engraved with the words, "Freeze, mother-stickers, this is a ****-up!" ******************************************************** Seems this Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape. ******************************************************** As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from." ******************************************************** The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. ********************************************************* Kentucky: Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper. They were quickly arrested. ******************************************************** A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER! When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had. Ferrari A man read, in the want ads, of a Ferrari for sale. It had only 3,000 miles on the clock. "Like new," the ad boasted. "Mint condition. $75.00." He laughed to himself, and he said, "There goes the newspaper, making another mistake." But he decided to call the number anyway and he asked the woman who answered about the sports car. "Is it really brand new?" "Yes," she replied" "Three thousand miles?" "Yes." "The price?" "Seventy-five dollars," she answered. "Lady, what's wrong with it?" he asked. "Nothing is wrong with it. You're the first to call. I suppose nobody else believes the ad." He decided to look at it. She let him take a test drive. The car looked exquisite and ran perfectly. He just couldn't believe his luck! "The car is yours for $75.00," the woman said emphatically, "on one condition. I want the money now, and I want you to drive it away so I never have to see it again." He paid her and took the keys. "Please tell me, lady," he persisted. "You could have sold this car for $50,000. What is going on?" She told her story: "I bought this car for my husband on our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. Two weeks later he ran off with somebody else. Last week I got a card from him. They're in a resort in Miami Beach, Florida. The card said, 'Need money, sell car, send cash.'" There are always two choices, two paths. One choice is easy and its only reward is it's easy.It takes sacrifice to be the best.
BlueDragon1981 Posted February 4, 2003 Posted February 4, 2003 Wow...Sometimes I wonder if we are the smarter animals on this planet. Some people are so darn dumb its not funny.
SaiFightsMS Posted February 5, 2003 Posted February 5, 2003 There are times when we feel like we just did something stupid that stories like these do make us feel a bit brighter.
ramymensa Posted February 5, 2003 Posted February 5, 2003 Has anybody got another Ferrari? or a new Beetle (love thede cars) 10x for the stories. My coleague came in the studio to ask why am I laughing so hard World Shotokan Karate
Kirves Posted February 5, 2003 Posted February 5, 2003 An American teenager was in the hospital yesterday recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit. Hahahaaa! This should've been the winner!
ZeRo Posted February 5, 2003 Posted February 5, 2003 man ive got a whole book of the Darwin awards! great stuff.
Red J Posted February 5, 2003 Posted February 5, 2003 Your awards take stupid to new depths. I had to lose my mind to come to my senses.
punkrocker115684 Posted February 14, 2003 Posted February 14, 2003 nice selection i read it when watching the simpsons and it was funnier thanks for the laugh 9th kyu(white belt)-shaolin chuan kung fu
punkrocker115684 Posted February 14, 2003 Posted February 14, 2003 also i have one but its not exact just what i remember of it: A man robbed a bank and ran out the door looking for a taxi. There werent any around so he ran around to the back of the building and jumped a fence and ran with a mask on and an automatic handgun out into the city police station training yard right through a training in progress. The students thought it was a drill and tackled him and handcuffed him. 9th kyu(white belt)-shaolin chuan kung fu
monkeygirl Posted February 14, 2003 Posted February 14, 2003 I've read a couple Darwin awards that aren't exactly...appropriate for this forum 1st dan & Asst. Instructor TKD 2000-2003No matter the tune...if you can rock it, rock it hard.
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