social distance

[Spartacus Maximus]

This concept is not often discussed in detail when the subject of self-defense and human aggression or violence.

Social distance is how close strangers get to each other to speak or communicate without one party feeling uncomfortable within a given society.

It is complicated by the fact it varies from one culture to the next. Even smaller subgroups within a bigger society will have different rules.

In general, it has been said that societies and cultures from the northern half of the world tend to stay further apart when talking to strangers, and those who live in the southern half tend to get much closer.

Knowing the acceptable distance at which people normally socialize can be helpful when training or teaching appropriate defensive actions to wherever one may be. It helps identify potentially dangerous situations quicker if for instance, you know it isn’t normal where you live that a

[KarateKen]

I'm not sure what the actual distance is, I just know it when someone is too close. There seems to be a general social understanding of what that space is even if nobody explained how close is too close.

[DarthPenguin]

yeah i think it is probably individualised and also situation specific. What i mean by that is everyone will have a different preference and the other person/s involved will make a difference : eg i would likely be fine with friends of mine being closer than someone i don't know and probably would have a difference between someone i don't know who looks like an 'upstanding member of society' and someone who looks like a troublemaker (ignoring how accurate or inaccurate such judgements may be)

[sensei8]

Great replies thus far.

I suppose that another way to consider is what the CDC mandated during the Covid-19 pandemic of not too long ago...6 feet. That always sounded quite reasonable for a guide to me.

[KarateKen]

Great replies thus far.

I suppose that another way to consider is what the CDC mandated during the Covid-19 pandemic of not too long ago...6 feet. That always sounded quite reasonable for a guide to me.

Yeah, I am good with that. Generally I prefer people in public to be as far away as possible, especially if they are sick and/or carrying knives.

[Spartacus Maximus]

Much of this does indeed depend and vary from one individual or situation to the next. But this is a cultural/ social trait. Most people never really think about this explicitly , but there is a “comfortable distance” as to what is culturally acceptable.

For simplicity of argument, let us imagine a situation where everyone involved is wearing reasonably clean ordinary everyday attire(neither formal/business/uniform, nor anything that might identify someone as belonging to any specific social group). How close would people expect to get before thinking “ this person might have intentions different from what they appear”?

How are things where you live? How would the situation be different if it was daytime with other people around or when it’s dark outside and hardly anyone there?

[Spartacus Maximus]

The six feet/two meters during the pandemic was based mostly on the distance at which airborne viruses can infect another person via sneezing or coughing. Under normal circumstances, there are quite a few places where people might consider six feet/two meters too far for interacting with strangers.

As some have remarked here, people don’t consciously think about it. When someone is too close or too far, we just feel it and react. There is always something that makes us think “why is this person standing way over there, do I smell funny?” or “ That person is getting way to close just to ask directions “

[bushido_man96]

In my job, the distance I prefer (and have been taught to be more comfortable with) is different than what the social norm would be. Most people probably stand between 2-3 feet of each other when speaking (around here, anyway). Especially if they know each other. I think about it this way; the distance at which you would shake hands when introducing yourself to someone is probably the distance you will remain at during the course of an interaction.

For work purposes, I'm more likely stand off a ways, more like 5-6 feet away, especially when outside and dealing with suspects. This helps to see any sudden, overt movements. Just generally keeping space tends to keep us a little safer.

[KarateKen]

Personally I get quickly offput when others are not considerate of boundaries and personal space. Either seeking inappropriate types of relationships, oversharing, or being all touchy feeling with someone they just met. Unfortunately, many times these people are either drunk and/or high, or are mentally ill and do not react well when boundaries are being set. I am a reserved person anyway, so when someone I just met two minutes ago is talking to me like we have been friends for years it kind of creeps me out. Same with people who get too physically close.

[Montana]

For me, it depends on how cutes she is...

Oh, wait! You mean as in a fight?

Sorry

I used to tell my student that your "personal space" is defined by that space between you and another and what makes you comfortable. If a person is verbally abusive, you need more space. If they're a trusted friend, closer.

Body language is important. Learn it, study it, be aware of it. Aggressive and potentially dangerous people carry themselves differently when they're looking for trouble. They don't have to be big, burly, hairy men. They can be small, slight and normal looking,but looking for trouble! Learn to spot them in a crowd.

I'd take my adult students out to a loud bar on a weekend, plain clothes of course, and just watch and talk about people. Look at different types. Look for things that you can tell about people. Back then, tattoos weren't as common as now, and were mostly worn by guys that were scrappers. Today EVERYBODY has them (except me).