karatekid1975 Posted January 21, 2003 Posted January 21, 2003 Hiya folks. I need some advice. Here's my problem. My boyfriend and I train together at the "Mcdojang." He knows I want to leave. I found a new dojang that I really like. I haven't trained at the McDojang for two weeks (while I figure out what to do about the contract). We had two "talks" about me leaving. I don't know if he is trying to give me the "gilt-trip." He said he doesn't mind what I do. But yet, he told me that the "McDojang" is going through some "changes." They've been talking about it in class. They want to make more room (in class time) for technique work. Then he said that they did a lot of Chin Na last night (nothing but). Which sounds good to me, because I wanted more self defense. He also pays for my tuition. I don't pay a dime for anything. The contract is somewhat on him for both of us. If I stay at the new dojang (after my trail thingy), he won't pay for it, which doesn't hurt my feelings. I have a job. Besides all this, I feel really bad, because I won't/haven't been training with him. We started this together when I moved up here. I don't know what to do. It's not about the McDojang anymore. It's about "us." I feel terrible Laurie F
Kirves Posted January 21, 2003 Posted January 21, 2003 Well, your real dilemma (there's the spelling ) is not about martial arts but about wether you have the courage to do your own thing instead of just following someone's lead. My choice would be to try something else for a while, but you're not me.
CheekyMusician Posted January 21, 2003 Posted January 21, 2003 You seem to really enjoy your martial arts. I think the problem is that your boyfriend doesn't take his martial arts as seriously as you. I think he sees it as a fun hobby where you are more into learning to do it properly. Tell him how important martial arts are to you and go to your new dojang. I don't think the McDojang will change much (if at all) so go somewhere new. Invite him to join the new dojo with you. Smile. It makes people wonder what you've been up to.
Kensai Posted January 21, 2003 Posted January 21, 2003 Feelings has nothing to do with this! This is Martial arts! You have to weigh up what you want more. Perhaps he sees you as making a good move first and he is a little jealous.
Pacificshore Posted January 22, 2003 Posted January 22, 2003 Sounds like some pretty good advice. Your martial arts training is about what you want out of it versus what someone else wants you to get out of it. Define what it is for your BF unless you know what it is, and let him know again what it is for you personally. As far as the contract thing goes, I'm sure your relationship is strong enough to withstand a "money thing" between the two of you. One last thing, as long as you both continue to train, nothing says that has to stop because you both train at different dojos. The great thing about martial arts training, is the exchanging of ideas, techniques, concepts, philosophy, etc. Stay strong and make the best decision for yourself in this matter. Di'DaDeeeee!!!Mind of Mencia
Tombstone Posted January 22, 2003 Posted January 22, 2003 its all about what you want to do. if you dont want to stay there then leave. if you want to stay then stay.
omnifinite Posted January 22, 2003 Posted January 22, 2003 Let him know your reasoning for leaving and how much better it is at the other dojo... maybe he'll go with you, maybe he won't. Communicate. I'm sure your relationship is strong enough to have different MA priorities. 1st Dan HapkidoColored belts in Kempo and Jujitsu
rabid hamster Posted January 22, 2003 Posted January 22, 2003 It's your choice. If you want to stay, you should stay. If you want to go to the new dojang, then go. It is only with the heart that one can see clearly, for the most essential things are invisible to the eye.
Karateka_latino Posted January 22, 2003 Posted January 22, 2003 Stay on the Dojang that is better for you... You were very happy with the new one you found, if you like it there better and you can afford to pay it, STAY there. Im agree that you seem to be more serious about martial arts than Him. I think he's there because of you. On the other hand, you trully like it.
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