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My Dilemma


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Hiya folks.

 

I need some advice. Here's my problem. My boyfriend and I train together at the "Mcdojang." He knows I want to leave. I found a new dojang that I really like. I haven't trained at the McDojang for two weeks (while I figure out what to do about the contract).

 

We had two "talks" about me leaving. I don't know if he is trying to give me the "gilt-trip." He said he doesn't mind what I do. But yet, he told me that the "McDojang" is going through some "changes." They've been talking about it in class. They want to make more room (in class time) for technique work. Then he said that they did a lot of Chin Na last night (nothing but). Which sounds good to me, because I wanted more self defense.

 

He also pays for my tuition. I don't pay a dime for anything. The contract is somewhat on him for both of us. If I stay at the new dojang (after my trail thingy), he won't pay for it, which doesn't hurt my feelings. I have a job.

 

Besides all this, I feel really bad, because I won't/haven't been training with him. We started this together when I moved up here. I don't know what to do. It's not about the McDojang anymore. It's about "us." I feel terrible :bawling:

Laurie F

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Well, your real dilemma (there's the spelling ;) ) is not about martial arts but about wether you have the courage to do your own thing instead of just following someone's lead. My choice would be to try something else for a while, but you're not me.
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You seem to really enjoy your martial arts.

 

I think the problem is that your boyfriend doesn't take his martial arts as seriously as you. I think he sees it as a fun hobby where you are more into learning to do it properly.

 

Tell him how important martial arts are to you and go to your new dojang. I don't think the McDojang will change much (if at all) so go somewhere new. Invite him to join the new dojo with you.

Smile. It makes people wonder what you've been up to.

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Sounds like some pretty good advice. Your martial arts training is about what you want out of it versus what someone else wants you to get out of it. Define what it is for your BF unless you know what it is, and let him know again what it is for you personally. As far as the contract thing goes, I'm sure your relationship is strong enough to withstand a "money thing" between the two of you.

 

One last thing, as long as you both continue to train, nothing says that has to stop because you both train at different dojos. The great thing about martial arts training, is the exchanging of ideas, techniques, concepts, philosophy, etc.

 

Stay strong and make the best decision for yourself in this matter. :)

Di'DaDeeeee!!!

Mind of Mencia

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Let him know your reasoning for leaving and how much better it is at the other dojo... maybe he'll go with you, maybe he won't. Communicate. I'm sure your relationship is strong enough to have different MA priorities.

1st Dan Hapkido

Colored belts in Kempo and Jujitsu

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Stay on the Dojang that is better for you... You were very happy with the new one you found, if you like it there better and you can afford to pay it, STAY there. Im agree that you seem to be more serious about martial arts than Him. I think he's there because of you. On the other hand, you trully like it.
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