Get involved or back off?

[Spartacus Maximus]

You have been training in a martial art for some years. You might also be teaching your own students. Your child, younger sibling, or relative has just started a similar martial art to yours. This child or youth asks you for help or technical advice. Their instructor is also aware of your background to some extent.

Is it wiser to back-off and avoid giving advice so as not to interfere with what they are being taught? Would giving advice or training with them be too confusing

If you do decide to help or get involved in their training, in what way would it be?

[bushido_man96]

I've been in this situation with my boys and Wrestling. I offer advice and help them out when I can, especially when I see flaws or weak spots in their game. What I've done for the most part is take drills and techniques that their coaches work with them on, and just drill reps with those things. Sometimes, though, when it just seems like they need a different solution to a problem, I'll dig up something else for them to work on, and drill it with them, especially if its something they don't get to drill on in practice.

[JR 137]

Brian’s advice is what I was going to say. I’ll add...

It’s a touchy subject, really. If you know the standard techniques the school is teaching, then by all means help. Sometimes a different explanation of the same technique will click.

My daughter was training at my dojo for about a year. I’d have her practice at home and I’d give her tips and help her. I know the system well enough to do so. I also understood to back off a bit when I got the inkling that I was going too far with it. If for no other reason than I fully trust my daughter’s teacher. Why would I send her there if I didn’t? Why would I train there if I didn’t?

Let’s say she was taking classes in a different style and/or organization. I’d give some input, but it would be very limited. It would be input on the basics and it would go along with what I’ve seen taught and heard being said by her teachers. I’m assuming a TKD roundhouse kick would have some subtle variations from the way I’ve learned it at my school.

My niece took Shotokan for a while. She had a difficult time with Taikyoku 1/shodan. Her issues were the turns. Being the same kata I’ve known for about 24 years, I had no problem with helping her out and giving her some pointers. I went through it with her and my daughter who was also struggling with it, and it helped them quite a bit. I wasn’t fixing stances or chamber hand position nor the like; I was just working with them on the footwork and memorizing where to turn and when. They both did really well with it afterwards after we went through it on two different occasions. I guess it took a different person explaining it differently and doing a new drill* to help them.

*I drew a capital I in the dirt the approximate size of the kata and had them look at it first and then follow it. That really clicked for them. I then messed up the lines and had them do it a few more times visualizing the I without it being there.

If you’re doing stuff like that, it doesn’t matter what style you’re coming from.

Other things I did with my daughter we’re focus mitts, a kicking shield, and one of those blocking bats. She got the concept of a proper fist, proper foot positioning on kicks, and how her arms should travel when blocking. Just doing the stuff against the air wasn’t doing much for the details that make or break the techniques. She hit pads in the dojo, but not as often as she needed to really drive home the proper alignment of the weapon(s). That’s not a knock on the instruction in the dojo, it’s just that I wanted to really stress the details. And she had a lot of fun with it. And so did I.

[sensei8]

Is it wiser to back-off and avoid giving advice so as not to interfere with what they are being taught?

It's all about one's approach that must be appropriate. Give what's helpful, and nothing else, no matter how much tempted. I'd offer that whatever I felt would help to widen their scope of understanding, after all, that's what teachers of the MA do, teach. I can not teach nor more than I can not live without air, while at the same time, reminding them that their CI is the ultimate final authority!!

Would giving advice or training with them be too confusing

That depends on the maturity of that student, as well as the one offering the help!! Not all black belts can teach!!

If you do decide to help or get involved in their training, in what way would it be??

As a interested bystander, as to not infect my way with their way; asking in what way I might be able to help them to better understand, but to not counter what their CI is teaching.