Do I tell my karate teacher I'm joining a Bjj school instead

[johnmc]

I have been at my Karate/Eskrima school for 6 years and have attained 2nd degree black. I attend regularly and additionally have a weekly private lesson with my sensei. There are 2 martial arts schools in my smallish to medium sized town, the other being BJJ. I have recently joined this BJJ school and intend to quit my Karate/Eskrima school. The question is should I tell my sensei that I'm leaving his school to join the other, Bjj school. This may hurt his feeling, anger, disappoint him or something of this nature. Or should I just leave without telling him about the joining. I want to do the appropriate thing here.

[LLLEARNER]

If you were in his position, would you rather a long-time student left without word, or talked to you?

[johnmc]

If you were in his position, would you rather a long-time student left without word, or talked to you?

Thank you for the reply.

As to the question you posed I'm not sure if I would have the student say he's just leaving or to tell me he wants to go to the other "Rival" school. I'm leaning towards (if I was in his position) to not want to know that my student left to join another school. But that is why I posed this question. Not sure and it does bother me a lot to have to leave but it's what I want to do.

[Zaine]

Here's a different perspective: you don't owe you old sensei an explanation. If it's easier for you to just leave, then that's fine. You're allowed to do so. If, however, it would cause you angst to not inform the old school, then do so. You don't have to do so face-to-face. An email will suffice.

Don't assume that time spent makes you beholden to something. You're allowed to change your mind.

[OneKickWonder]

I think it depends on how well you get in with your sensei. If it is very formal, I'd just walk. But if you've become friends over the years, I'd definitely tell him.

But if you tell him, don't phrase like 'karate is rubbish so I'm switching to BJJ' or perhaps even worse, 'I know everything about karate now, it's time to start again with something else'. Instead perhaps come from the angle that every style has its strengths, and while karate is epic as a stand up striking and even grappling art, BJJ adds a lot to the wrestling and ground work that you'd like to explore. Or something like that perhaps.

[Wado Heretic]

I would also say it depends on why you intend to leave. It sounds as though you have been very committed to your training, with both regular classes and a weekly private session. Is it a time commitment issue? Why do you "have" to leave? Why can you not attend both?

Now, if you were just a regular student, I would advise just to leave. However, as you have very regular private lessons you probably do need to notify your instructor that you are leaving. Frankly, you do not need to explain your reasons, as at the end of the day you are a customer simply choosing another provider for your martial arts training.

[singularity6]

1) Honesty and integrity are always best.

2) If you live in a small/medium sized town with only 2 MA schools, people will find out anyway.

[sensei8]

Tell him, don't tell him; that's all up to you.

Personally, I don't care one way or another if a student of mine wants to go train somewhere else; I don't own any student.

[bushido_man96]

Lots of good comments here. I think I'll take this from the instructor's point of view.

For one, I would not be angry with anyone who quit attending my school. Life happens. Now, if I had someone that was a 2nd degree, and had committed significant time and hard work in training like that, and they just up and disappeared, I'd probably want to get into contact with them to check in. I'd ask how they are doing, how things are going, and ask about the training. If they'd say they just aren't into it anymore, I'd wish them well. But, I'd also mention that I'd hate to see them give up on their training, especially after investing so much in it up to that point. If the student mentioned that they were going to train in another style, I'd wish them well there, too, and support their efforts; at least they are still training. I'd also offer to them that the door is still open for them to train at my school if they wish, as well.

That's my take on the subject, from the instructor's point of view.

[MatsuShinshii]

IMHO, I would tell him you're leaving at the very least. Where you go is up to you and of no business of his but after years of training I think the least you owe him is the respect of telling him your leaving.