One guy's karate journey

[shortyafter]

MatsuShinshii -

Yes, you caught me in a bit of a dark place with that one. But it's a place that has a tendency to come up with me. Although, nowadays less and less. As you said, I am only human.

I think you are on to something when you say to give myself a break. This is advice I keep getting from good friends. To relax and not work so tense is advice I have consisently gotten from my instructors. And finally you all on these forums have kept reminding me that it's a journey, not a race. I see what you mean about things coming together. I too have thought that the strength to get up 8 times after falling 7 is, in some ways, the most important strength of all.

And also, when I'm in a good space of head and spirit, all those little things I worried about just seem so unimportant. Because they are. I understand you there.

Thank you for your honest input and for the encouragement.

[MatsuShinshii]

The thing to remember is you'll get there. All too often students get upset because they are not meeting goals that they came up with on their own. These goals are good but if you do not achieve a goal (that is not based on fact or any amount of experience) it should not be the end of the world.

Setting lofty goals are good in that you strive harder to meet them and will in fact reach them faster than if you did not set the goal in the first place. This is often overlooked because it's not readily apparent to the student. Judge yourself on the small successes as these are the way you know your improving. Just because you can not perform a perfect side kick or back kick or whatever doesn't mean you have not improved nor that your not taking steps down the path.

Measure success on the individual steps not on the end of the path. Hint - you'll never get there. Not if your serious about mastery of the art. It's not possible as there is always something more to learn and something more to improve. Bottom line it's about personal perfection. We are not capable of perfection so we can only strive to be. As I said - life long journey.

Just enjoy the journey and don't get hung up on the set backs. It happens to the best of us.

[shortyafter]

Thank you MatsuShinshii. I will take you experience to heart. Osu

[shortyafter]

MatsuShinshii -

I did a lot of reflecting on what you said to me. In a way it stung but that's my ego speaking, and that has no place in my MA journey or in my journey to live a fulfilling life. I think you really nailed it. I have a tendency to get so caught up in little, unimportant, and unrealistic details that I totally forget the big picture.

I was a kid who got picked last for dodgeball, and I really carried that wound around with me for a long time. The whole reason I got into karate in the first place was to show myself that I could do it - with a bit of heart, patience, and effort. The fact that I am consistently succeeding, not always, but consistently, in the dojo, is really an amazing thing. That's what I should be focused on, not the little minute details and imperfections.

IMHO learning to focus on the big picture instead of nit-picking and being perfectionistic is an integral part of my karate training.

Thank you again for the post. It opened up my eyes quite a bit. Also thanks to sensei8 for his encouragement. Sometimes I need the honest truth, and sometimes I just need someone in my corner cheering me on. Thank you both.

[JazzKicker]

I'd forgotten I weighed in early on, but re-reading this thread and subsequent posts, what struck me is that the OP is trying TOO hard, and self-evaluating from one day to the next. Well, this is bound to get you tense and frustrated.

Change and improvement come gradually, not linearly- then one day you notice the thing that used to be so difficult, you're doing without thinking. Part of it is, you have to rest and relax, to come back to it fresh.

[MatsuShinshii]

MatsuShinshii -

I did a lot of reflecting on what you said to me. In a way it stung but that's my ego speaking, and that has no place in my MA journey or in my journey to live a fulfilling life. I think you really nailed it. I have a tendency to get so caught up in little, unimportant, and unrealistic details that I totally forget the big picture.

I was a kid who got picked last for dodgeball, and I really carried that wound around with me for a long time. The whole reason I got into karate in the first place was to show myself that I could do it - with a bit of heart, patience, and effort. The fact that I am consistently succeeding, not always, but consistently, in the dojo, is really an amazing thing. That's what I should be focused on, not the little minute details and imperfections.

IMHO learning to focus on the big picture instead of nit-picking and being perfectionistic is an integral part of my karate training.

Thank you again for the post. It opened up my eyes quite a bit. Also thanks to sensei8 for his encouragement. Sometimes I need the honest truth, and sometimes I just need someone in my corner cheering me on. Thank you both.

I didn't realize I came off so harshly. I apologize. I can tend to be matter of fact and fairly outspoken. It sounds like you took the advice in the spirit is was intended though.

Nothing wrong with being a perfectionist. However you must also be a realist. No "master" of any art or trade got there over night. Keep your goals high but keep your feet on the ground.

You'll get there. In time all things are possible. Keep training.

[shortyafter]

MatsuShinshii -

I did a lot of reflecting on what you said to me. In a way it stung but that's my ego speaking, and that has no place in my MA journey or in my journey to live a fulfilling life. I think you really nailed it. I have a tendency to get so caught up in little, unimportant, and unrealistic details that I totally forget the big picture.

I was a kid who got picked last for dodgeball, and I really carried that wound around with me for a long time. The whole reason I got into karate in the first place was to show myself that I could do it - with a bit of heart, patience, and effort. The fact that I am consistently succeeding, not always, but consistently, in the dojo, is really an amazing thing. That's what I should be focused on, not the little minute details and imperfections.

IMHO learning to focus on the big picture instead of nit-picking and being perfectionistic is an integral part of my karate training.

Thank you again for the post. It opened up my eyes quite a bit. Also thanks to sensei8 for his encouragement. Sometimes I need the honest truth, and sometimes I just need someone in my corner cheering me on. Thank you both.

I didn't realize I came off so harshly. I apologize. I can tend to be matter of fact and fairly outspoken. It sounds like you took the advice in the spirit is was intended though.

Nothing wrong with being a perfectionist. However you must also be a realist. No "master" of any art or trade got there over night. Keep your goals high but keep your feet on the ground.

You'll get there. In time all things are possible. Keep training.

To be honest I'm not sure if it was you or maybe just the way I took it. No worries. I really do appreciate the advice and it has been positive for me.

Jazzkicker - Disagree that self-evaluation is a problem for me. It's really something I can't help, and I do my best to use it constructively and to enjoy it. I think it is one of my biggest advantages in karate. It gives me the ability to realize when something feels "off" and when something feels like "a-ha! This is karate!" The latter have been the moments that make the whole journey worth it. That said, totally agree that I am too hard on myself. That's something that with time I hope to be able to let go. Thanks.

[MatsuShinshii]

Just keep training and enjoy the journey. All things become possible with time and practice. You'll reach your goals, just don't get hung up on time.

[shortyafter]

Went in to training tonight tired and ready to just "get it over with". I guess it's a fine line between "Let it happen" and "yeah but you have to put it in the work". I was not happy with my spirit tonight but finally said - "why are you choosing to flounder? Just do the exercises correctly". Not saying I executed great, especially my kicks, but a switch flipped on and I felt like I was doing real karate again. Got out of my head and into my body.

The teens meanwhile in the class were very lackluster. Instructor gave them a good stern talking to. Honestly I think he had had a bad day. I know that when an instructor is angry it doesn't automatically mean he had a bad day, but I think today that was indeed the case. Beyond that the teens needed a good talking to, anyway. The energy isn't there and a lot of times isn't.

I felt good because I knew he wasn't calling me out tonight. I knew I had performed well. Not perfect, not amazing, but I gave it my all. So I walked away feeling proud. But I also felt bad for my instructor, and I wasn't sure what to do besides be there to listen to him vent. That, plus knowing that I'm doing my best, are the kinds of things that make me feel really good on a deep level.

I posted awhile back about how my old Kyokushin school kind of kept me in the dark about a trip they were taking to Japan. They finally let me know but by that time I had already decided it wasn't going to be worth my time/money. Well today they went. And you know what? I'm glad I didn't go, at least not with them. I'm happy with the way my karate, and life, are playing out. Thank you folks for playing a part.

Just keep training and enjoy the journey. All things become possible with time and practice. You'll reach your goals, just don't get hung up on time.

Thank you again for your wise advice and encouragement, MatsuShinshii. Osu.

[shortyafter]

Just had a pretty big breakthrough. Didn't have last night's class because of a national holiday so today I did some Kihon at home. I just realized how important the hikite is. I mean, intellectualy I'm sure it's been described to me before. But today I felt it.

The hikite isn't just some sort of arbitrary motion you do with your pulling hand. Nor is the technique itself in any way arbitrary. It's all connected. The snap back of the hikite is directly equivalent to the snap forward of the technique.

Patience, patience. These little things will slowly and surely keep adding up.