So... can you kick my butt?

[Shizentai]

"Can you kick my butt?"

It is the question that inevitably follows "Oh, you do maritial arts?" when someone (especially a non-MAist) finds out I train before they know me well.

To me, this seems like a dead end question, because any answer I give is socially unacceptable (yes, no, maybe, don't care, why would I kick your butt?), yet the question itself has become a socially acceptable knee-jerk response.

I have two questions for you all today:

1. Is this something I get because I'm female, or does everyone get it fairly regularly?

2. What is your favorite response to this?

Edited September 7, 2017 by Shizentai

[Wastelander]

As a 6'1 205lb guy, I get the same thing in the form of a statement, rather than a question, essentially. I get "oh, better not make you made, or you'll kick my butt." My response is generally to laugh it off and use a very sarcastic tone to say something along the lines of "you know it!"

[Lupin1]

I'm a 5'6'' female and I usually get "Oh, I better not mess with you then, huh?". I usually just laugh it off.

The really awkward stuff is when people tell my 6'1' hundred-pound-heavier-than-me boyfriend that HE better watch out for me. He's actually pretty good at responding to that and just jokes that I'm a ninja, but it's awkward for me. I don't like people joking about me physically hurting my boyfriend. It makes me sad just thinking about it.

[Spartacus Maximus]

This sort of thing is one of the reasons why one might choose to keep one's interest in martial arts and training to oneself. After dealing with such things a number of times it reaches a point where any answer, attempt to explain or any reply becomes a waste of time.

The majority of people who do not train do not understand and do not care to try. Mentioning martial arts or attempting to talk seriously in all but the utmost superficial way about it is akin to have a serious debate about life with a 3year old. Avoiding the subject and restricting who knows about one's interest in it seems like a good way to get along. It sure spares a great deal of headaches.

[singularity6]

My wife is from Syria. People frequently ask her "Where are you from" as soon as she speaks. They do not know her at all, yet have no shame in asking imediately.

I teach math for a living. People imediately respond with "Oh, I hate math," "That's my worst subject... I can barely add!" or "Hey, you're smart... you figure out the tip."

My overall experience says that most people suck, even if they don't mean to.

[MatsuShinshii]

I'm 6'2" and 210 lbs. I have heard that question and others.

I don't tell others that I practice MA's unless the subject is brought up by the other person. Usually they end up talking about it or they tell me that they are a practitioner and then you are able to carry on a conversation about a mutual interest rather than being sarcastically challenged.

It's the same with the military. The first question everyone asks is "did you kill anyone".

In all scenarios it's best to smile and walk away from the situation. Nothing you say is the right answer so it's better to not answer at all and let them think as they will.

[LLLEARNER]

It's the same with the military. The first question everyone asks is "did you kill anyone".

In all scenarios it's best to smile and walk away from the situation. Nothing .

To my regret I never served, and even I find that to be a highly offensive question.

[LLLEARNER]

I get similar questions and comments. My answer depends on my mood but there is usually some level of sarcasm involved.

[Shizentai]

Well it definitely sounds like I'm not alone. Like most of you, I don't usually tell people I just met that I do karate, but there are some circumstances where it's unavoidable. Case in point, being in physical therapy for a karate-related injury. When my sports PT asks what happened, I'm not going to tell him I was drinking tea.

I'm a 5'6'' female and I usually get "Oh, I better not mess with you then, huh?". I usually just laugh it off.

That's funny, because my most recent example at the PT actually went the same way.

PT: "Oh, she does karate? I better not mess with her."

Me: "Well, technically all you know about me so far is that I am good at hurting myself with karate"

Then I showed off my solar-plexus hernia surgery scars and the deceivingly large one on my chest from where I lost a mole to an un-clipped toenail during a tournament. They shared theirs as well.

As awkward as "can you kick my butt" is, scar stories seem like a peace pipe understood by all.

[Zaine]

My mother, who has stopped telling people because of this question, usually got the same response. I find this interesting because I usually get people telling me about their MA experience, or how they always wanted to get into MA.