That which does not kill us makes us stranger.

[tallgeese]

Welcome back, Justice! Thank you for sharing and the re-introduction. I can't imagine how many difficulties that this has created for you but I'm glad you're in a place you can share and move forward as a marital artist. Great to see back again!

[JusticeZero]

Well, you can always ask. Some things are approaching TMI status, I suppose, but most things are pretty innocent. Admittedly, I haven't hit the fun bit where my guy costume stops being believable without trickery yet. That part should be... Interesting to deal with.

[JR 137]

Hi JusticeZero. I don't think we've ever conversed, but I have seen some of your old posts. I look forward to seeing you around here.

I commend your courage. I can't imagine how difficult a time this must have been and continues to be for you. Rather than repeating what others have said here, I offer you a poem that really put things into perspective for me quite a few times. To me, it's all about soul searching. I could go on and on, but I won't...

The Guy in the Glass

by Dale Wimbrow, © 1934

When you get what you want in your struggle for pelf,

And the world makes you King for a day,

Then go to the mirror and look at yourself,

And see what that guy has to say.

For it isn't your Father, or Mother, or Wife,

Who judgement upon you must pass.

The feller whose verdict counts most in your life

Is the guy staring back from the glass.

He's the feller to please, never mind all the rest,

For he's with you clear up to the end,

And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test

If the guy in the glass is your friend.

You may be like Jack Horner and "chisel" a plum,

And think you're a wonderful guy,

But the man in the glass says you're only a bum

If you can't look him straight in the eye.

You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years,

And get pats on the back as you pass,

But your final reward will be heartaches and tears

If you've cheated the guy in the glass.

http://www.theguyintheglass.com/gig.htm

Disclaimer: The author's family allows people to use the poem in its entirety, so long as it's credited to the author...

http://www.theguyintheglass.com/index.htm

[JusticeZero]

Well, as soon as I start being able to see myself in the mirror, that should be helpful advice. Mirror dysphoria is a common issue, where you look in a mirror and intuitively feel that it isn't you, leading to some aversion to and difficulty focusing on mirrors. It's actually one of the gotcha symptoms when it's there, since it's so distinctive.

Which sends the whole analogy off in a different direction, really. Probably a more accurate one. I can't face the person in the mirror until I can actually find her, after all.

[JR 137]

Well, as soon as I start being able to see myself in the mirror, that should be helpful advice. Mirror dysphoria is a common issue, where you look in a mirror and intuitively feel that it isn't you, leading to some aversion to and difficulty focusing on mirrors. It's actually one of the gotcha symptoms when it's there, since it's so distinctive.

Which sends the whole analogy off in a different direction, really. Probably a more accurate one. I can't face the person in the mirror until I can actually find her, after all.

No offense intended. I interpret the poem as it doesn't matter what anyone nor everyone else thinks nor sees as right or wrong, all that matters is knowing that you're doing what's right. It's about doing what's right so you can ultimately love who you are, which I believe is what you're doing. It wasn't intended as loving the external, it was intended as loving the internal. Seeing your soul.

After reading your response, I understand (as much as I can, anyway) your interpretation. I should probably quit trying to take my foot out of my mouth:). All I can say is I'm on your side.

[twistkick kid]

JusticeZero-

welcome back!

I am also a transgender martial artist, transitioning in the opposite direction of you.

I hope you are able to find a place to train that is accepting and has decent locker room facilities available.

Your post has given me the courage to write out and eventually post my story here.

if you have questions, don't hesitate to PM. Inbox is always open

[Patrick]

Belated, but thank you for sharing that here, twistkick kid. I am so glad that you felt comfortable doing so here, and that Justice's post provided you with the courage to do so. I appreciate you.

Patrick

[JusticeZero]

Yep! Looking forward to hearing more. Same as far as being open to questions. My husband probably would have a lot more, but he doesn't have a martial arts background at all, alas, and cannot do mine because of a badly healed foot.

[twistkick kid]

JusticeZero-

If he's got questions, you're more than willing to PM me the questions through my inbox

(my apologies for the late response... internet knocked itself out for a few days, so I'm just now getting back online)

[MatsuShinshii]

Welcome back.