Shutting down a stalker

[Spartacus Maximus]

Being followed incessantly is annoying and can be quite disturbing because it can easily spiral into a very threatening or violent situation. The scariest thing about them is that there is no way to know exactly what their true intentions are, nor how mentally or emotionally disturbed they might be. Some might be satisfied with invading their victims' privacy or terrifying them. Others might be seek to actually physically harm.

What can one suggest to a friend who is being stalked by someone who actually went as far as following his victim across from international borders?

[Zaine]

Nothing other than the police.

[DWx]

Nothing other than the police.

This.

Don't engage. Collect any proof (any communications they might have sent you). Then go straight to the authorities.

[CTTKDKing]

While I agree with the above sentiment of calling the police, I also recommend constant vigilance. While you are collecting your proof you are still vulnerable. If the person is dangerous then an awareness of your surroundings and safety are also a necessity. I believe I this being something you should be doing anyway, but even more so if you are dealing with a stalker.

[LLLEARNER]

Stalking can escalate when the predator grows comfortable enough to move forward. My best advise would be to notify the police with their name if known and description if known. Collect and evidence (communication, physical) when it is safe to do so. Locking their doors and windows. Probably the best option is to be proactive in their daily life and observation of their surroundings. Park close to buildings in well-lighted areas. Carry their keys in their hands to unlock their car. Pay attention to nearby vehicles. A panel van next to your car when it is not a normal occurrence could be suspicious. If workplace security is an option then having them escort to and from their vehicle when alone (that is what we are there for, and would gladly help out). Maybe a closer more well lit parking space can be arranged. Even when it is not at work, but another facility (like a mall) use the security options available. The next best option is to use the buddy system. Walk in groups to and from vehicles. Staying in contact with trusted friends and family about day to day movements and activities. Try to do more group activities. If the stalked is willing and able to use self defense tools, then there is that option.

[sensei8]

Great topic, Spartacus Maximus; glad that you started it.

Contact the police immediately, and not later. Later, to me, incorporates me collecting proof/evidence; I've not the time nor the luxury or the experience or the resources as Law Enforcement's have. The sooner that I make Law Enforcement aware of the possibilities, the sooner that Law Enforcement can being their investigations.

Meanwhile, I'll not take the law in my hands unless it's a matter of life and death!! I will protect my family as well as myself to the best of my abilities with the intentions of finalized resolve. To do what I must, and no more!!

[Spartacus Maximus]

One of the most important things for a victim of stalking to keep in mind is that stalkers absolutely hate attention. They cannot stand being in the spotlight as this means that everybody is looking at them, knows their face and what they are doing.

Hundreds of eyes are better than the victim's two. A photo or video of the stalker is a very effective weapon. After giving it to the police, it can keep the victim safe by sharing it with family, neighbours, at the workplace and even posted online for maximum exposure.

In this particular case, the police did nothing more than interview the culprit, but they very unlikely to do anything else. A sad fact is that the police have other priorities and are even less likely to take on anything involving foreign nationals.

[JR 137]

Other than what's been said here, take a self defense course run by a police department or LEOs. Yes, the MA teach us self defense techniques, but a true self defense course goes significantly further in the situational awareness aspect. LEOs see things everyday that non-LEOs can only speculate about.

A SD course of this nature doesn't replace MA training; rather, it supplements it or vice versa.

My mother took a course run by a local police department several years ago through her employer. It consisted of several evenings and a half day on a Saturday. The stuff she told me they learned in situational awareness seemed quite extensive. The techniques seemed pretty good too. When my daughters are old enough, they'll go too. And they won't have a choice in the matter.

And hopefully I can get them into jujitsu or judo when they're a bit older. Defending grabs, chokes and off your back should be essential to every woman IMO.

[mazzybear]

CALL THE POLICE IMMEDIATELY!!! I have known two victims of stalkers and how frightening it can be. Get the authorities involved straight away and look at restraining orders etc. They may not deter many people but, if they're broken, then jail is a possibility. Please, please get whoever is being stalked to involve the police NOW.

Mo.

[Spartacus Maximus]

The fact that both the victim and stalker were foreigners further complicated things and not much can be expected from the police in cases like this because it simply is not seen as a priority. It is still a good idea to notify them and give them as much to work with as possible.

What seemed to have worked was getting their embassy involved by lodging a complaint and passing on the stalkers photo. Eventually somebody got him as he was arrested, but strangely it was on something unrelated to his stalking/harassing behaviour. Embassies of certain countries might have some means of pursuing their nationals on foreign soil if there is a complaint and evidence