How to go about helping a karate family

[skullsplitter]

Not sure where this belongs so move it if needed.

A family at our karate school has fallen on hard times right before Christmas. Their situation hasn't been all that great throughout the year, but it just got worse. I'm friends with them, my son is friends with their kids, and I think the world of the kids too.

Now my family is by no means well off, but my mom gives me money for Christmas still and I've decided to give that to this family in need. My dilema in my mind is how to do it. My fear is that if I offer the help to them that they will feel awkward around me or even be mad that I think they need my help. I don't want to cause any drama at the dojo, but I also can't in good faith not offer help.

So I guess my question here is how best to go about this?

[sensei8]

I'd call them into my office whereas no one else would be at the dojo for their privacy, and I'd hand it to them while providing a very simple explanation as to why. I'd not force it on them either for whatever reason(s) they might have to refuse the offer.

It's a very sensitive thing across the board that you're entering for the reasons that you're concerned about.

Having said that, I'd not let that deter me from doing what's on my heart; it's the right thing to do!! I'd also give them free lessons as long as the need was necessary.

[bushido_man96]

Those are good suggestions. You could also try to meet with them outside the school setting, so as not to draw any attention to it.

[sensei8]

Those are good suggestions. You could also try to meet with them outside the school setting, so as not to draw any attention to it.

That's an even better idea, Brian; I'd go with that!!

[Kai-M]

Dear skullsplitter,

This is so kind of you and I really hope it will work out comfortably! Just a few thoughts . . .

Firstly, you could phrase it in terms of how happy it will make you to do this, and it would mean such a lot to you to make good use of your mum’s gift, by contributing to the wellbeing of such lovely kids / students. Rather than say it as if you are feeling pity for them?

Secondly, I think you would have to be careful to make sure that they fully understood it was a gift and not a loan, to avoid any confusion or embarrassment? As they could already have loans and be worried that this will become another burden.

Thirdly, you could help them to save face by proposing that it’s a kind of “pay it forward” loan. So you are not expecting or wanting the money back, but you would like them to help someone else in need, in the future, either with money when or if they are able, or in another way.

agree with sensei8 that free lessons would be great if you are able to afford that too.

Hope all goes well - will you let us know how it was received . . . ?

[Montana]

Put it in a Christmas card and mail cash to them. I know mailing cash is dangerous, but I've been doing it for years and have NEVER had an issue.

Or even better yet, have a friend of yours that they don't know (or a local minister would do it probably), take a card to their door and give it to them anonomously.

[skullsplitter]

After talking to some others about it we decided not to directly give to them so as to not cause any awkward feelings. We do however need some things done to the house so we are hiring the dad instead.

[Luther unleashed]

I'd call them into my office whereas no one else would be at the dojo for their privacy, and I'd hand it to them while providing a very simple explanation as to why. I'd not force it on them either for whatever reason(s) they might have to refuse the offer.

It's a very sensitive thing across the board that you're entering for the reasons that you're concerned about.

Having said that, I'd not let that deter me from doing what's on my heart; it's the right thing to do!! I'd also give them free lessons as long as the need was necessary.

This is an extremely awesome post here. Really, it's both very deep and meaningful as well as intelligent. Couldn't have said it better myself.