Know Your Role!!

[sensei8]

Student

Parent

Spouse

Brother/Sister

Mom/Dad

Grandma/Grandpa

Uncle/Aunt

Friend

Supporter

Instructor

Assistant Instructor

Sempai

Master/Grand Master

Founder/Heir/Heir Apparent

Owner

Assistant Manager/Manager

Associate

Department Head

Employee

Co-Employee

CEO/COO

Fireman/Policeman

Doctor/Physician

Priest/Pastor/Clergy

ETC...

The list goes on and on and on and on and on and... Until time ceases to exist anymore. As long as man is on this earth, labels or titles or whatever one might choose to be known by, recognition will be needed and recognition will be earned.

These identifiers are well founded and for the most part, they're earned, and the which is earned is steep in culture and the like. Some assume positions that they're not qualified for, nor do they have the associated right to assume so.

Having said that, no matter what your title/label might be...no matter what your nom de voyage or the name you travel under might be, there's one thing that you must know, and if nothing more than that, at least that. This is so true, and so easily forgotten within and without the MA, especially in a MA school/dojo/dojang/gym/etc, and the walls groan along with the floor, both witnesses to a many things, some cool and some not cool. Make sure that you...so, and if I may borrow a line from The Rock...

KNOW YOUR ROLE!!

If you're deservingly so that role, then fulfill said role with dignity and pride. And on the other hand, if you've not deservingly so earned that role, than please step away and allow those more qualified to be so.

The walls of a school of MA are no different than the walls of Congress, or of your home, or of the venue that you deem both holy and sacred, and that shouldn't be trampled upon in the quest to muddy up that which you've no right or business to do so!

NOT ON MY WATCH!!

Just because you've earned this label/role honestly and earnestly, and it's without any ambiguity whatsoever, that doesn't give you the right to run that which you aren't allowed to run...like my dojo. That's MINE, and not yours, and when you're in my dojo, you're my guest, and in being my guest, you make darn sure that you handle yourself accordingly with decorum and respect. And if you can, I welcome you!! But if you can't, I'd appreciate it if you just say "Thank you", and leave, and be on your way. You'll not be welcomed until you can demonstrate yourself in an appropriate manner each and every time you're a guest/student, or whatever your title/label/role might be. in my dojo!! Now and forever!!

Allow me to put you on notice, whomever you might be or who you think that you might be, when you come to my dojo or to my Hombu or to my home, you better...

KNOW YOUR ROLE!!

You better believe you me, I know my role quite well!! I've no delusions as to what my role is in my dojo or at the Hombu or in my own home. Respect begets respect!!

Please, and thank you!!

[Titanium]

What a great post.

Thanks for sharing.

You never think of it like that...

Very interesting.

[sensei8]

At times, people will come into the dojo or the Hombu and they think that just because their customers, and yes, students are customers too, that they can speak about and/or demand how it needs to be or how it should be and so on and so forth. Sure, I'm open minded, and welcome any and all suggestions, but not with a tone of ownership or with a tone of an ultimatum or any tone conceived as to being disrespectful.

This is MY dojo...this isn't YOURS!! Your not part of the administration!!

In their field, they are the experts, and I don't go to their place of business speaking and demanding in disrespectful tones; that would be rude, therefore that would also be unnecessary across the board, and that would get me nowhere quick.

EVEN in respectful tones, don't demand and/or give me ultimatums, not in my dojo, and not in the Hombu, and certainly, not in my home! To do so, well, you'll be escorted to the door immediately, and without any haste or ceremony.

If you don't know your role, I'll remind you, I'll teach you, I'll help you understand exactly just what your role is in MY dojo and in OUR Hombu and in MY home!!

How does YOUR Sensei/Instructor/GM/Hombu deal with this/these type of things that I've touched upon in this thread??

[Titanium]

Well he is a very good adapter and treats and teaches people according to their needs.

A good thing about my Sensei is that he is strict and understanding at the same time.

I have always found karate easy to pick up, however people who cannot, he understands this and adjusts when required.

My Sensei knows his role in the Dojo too; he understands that 'we can learn from each other'.

[Titanium]

I think we also need to keep in mind that we are who we are; we should not try to be something that we aren't.

[sensei8]

Titanium,

I agree with post of your latest posts wholeheartedly; thanks for sharing them both.

I just don't want people to try to TELL ME how to do my roles. Tone speaks in volumes, and from time to time, I get a lot of tone!!

[JR 137]

Everyone should know their role, yet somehow some people flat out refuse to accept it. In the dojo, I've found it hard to keep my mouth shut when people ask questions. I'm a school teacher, so my job is to answer questions. Going from being the teacher to being a low rank in the dojo isn't easy when I know the answer from my previous experience. I constantly remind myself "I'm not the teacher right now. Let the teacher teach. Keep your mouth shut!!!"

MA is an odd situation. Whenever you pay for a service, you're a customer. But in the dojo, you're not really looked at as a customer. It's very similar to college. Yes you're paying to be there, but you're a student. You're not your professors' boss. Same as in the dojo - show respect, follow the rules, and if you're not happy there, find a place that's a better fit. Some people won't ever find a proper fit, however.

[sensei8]

My door is always open to whomever wants to talk to me or ask me questions; that's what I'm there for...also. A CI is a fire-fighter; constantly putting fires out daily with this situation and that situation. Ask...don't demand! Enquire...don't assume! Accept...don't whine!

"How can I help you today?", and this shouldn't be interpreted to be..."Whatever you want; you got it!!"

[Spartacus Maximus]

Perhaps the key to knowing and keeping one's role is knowing when it is one's turn to listen. People who know when to listen, usually are most aware of what role they must take and what role they are expected to have in interactions with others. A fathers must listen when his child comes to him for advice, just as it is the child's turn to listen when the father speaks with the voice of experience. If either fails to, or refuses to listen; eventually at some point there will be somebody to remind the person of their role. Depending on whom is doing the reminding, it may or may not be very gentle.

[sensei8]

Perhaps the key to knowing and keeping one's role is knowing when it is one's turn to listen. People who know when to listen, usually are most aware of what role they must take and what role they are expected to have in interactions with others. A fathers must listen when his child comes to him for advice, just as it is the child's turn to listen when the father speaks with the voice of experience. If either fails to, or refuses to listen; eventually at some point there will be somebody to remind the person of their role. Depending on whom is doing the reminding, it may or may not be very gentle.

Solid post!!

Prayerfully, I hope that I'm not making myself out as someone that doesn't have the social abilities and the like. I believe that before one can speak, one must know how to listen. One can't begin to help others if they're not able, or willing to listen first, and above all things. Effective listening is a skill, all by itself.