Kung Fu Hamster Posted April 25, 2003 Share Posted April 25, 2003 Hahaha! (no offense to women) Q.How many men does it take to screw a lightbulb? A. None. The women can cook in the dark.. (once again no offense to women... Want to keep my reputation up high you see) Everybodies Going Kung Fu Fighting! Yah Hoocha! LMAO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaiFightsMS Posted April 25, 2003 Share Posted April 25, 2003 THE SOLID GOLD URINAL Before the inauguration, George Bush was invited to a get-acquainted tour of the White House. After drinking several glasses of iced tea, he asked permission to use Bill Clinton's personal bathroom. Of course, Bill said "okay." Well, when George walked in, he was astonished to see that the President had a solid gold urinal. That afternoon, George told his wife, Laura, about the urinal. "Just think," he said, "when I'm President, I'll get to have my very own gold urinal!" Later, when Laura had lunch with Hillary at her tour of the White House, she told Hillary how impressed George had been with his discovery of the President's gold urinal in his private bathroom. That evening, as Bill and Hillary were getting ready for bed, she turned to Bill and said, "Well, I found out who peed in your saxophone." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HachiKyu Posted April 28, 2003 Share Posted April 28, 2003 How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? (two answers.) 1) unknown its never been done or 2) One to hold the diest pepsi the other to call daddy. heh hehehehehe Mo Duk Pai Kung fu - Green Sash (https://www.modukpai.com)Shotokan Karate - Orange Belt (https://www.nwkarate.com)Future plans - Go to a Shaolin academy.(https://www.shaolins.com) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaiFightsMS Posted May 11, 2003 Share Posted May 11, 2003 Horses' rump and the Queen President Bush was to represent the United States of America on a highly formal, orchestrated "state visit" to Great Britain. Air Force One stopped at a bright red carpet along which the President strode to join Queen Elizabeth II in a beautiful, ornate 17th-century coach hitched to 6 enormous matched white horses. The coach proceeded through the streets en route to Buckingham Palace, the President and the Queen alternating between exchanging pleasantries and waving each out their respective windows to the cheering throngs. At one point, the right rear horse produced a thunderous, cataclysmic fart that reverberated through the air and rattled the doors of the coach. Presidents and Queens are, first and foremost, human beings. Their first reaction was to focus their attentions outside their respective windows, and behave as if nothing extraordinary had happened. The Queen, steeped in decades of experience living with the mundane and bazaar together, was the first to realize that ignoring what had happened was ridiculous. "Mr. President, please accept my regrets - - - I'm sure you understand that there are some things that even a Queen cannot control." "Your Majesty, please don't give the matter another thought; why, if you hadn't said something, I would have thought it was one of the horses." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sepultura Posted May 11, 2003 Share Posted May 11, 2003 Subject:The Pig Saddam Hussein and his chauffeur were rolling down the highway when suddenly they hit a pig crossing the road. They killed it instantly. Saddam tells his driver: "Go to da farm over dere and hexplain to da honer of da pig what appened." One hour later, Saddam sees his driver coming back from the farm, his clothes all wrinkled, a bottle of wine in one hand and a cigar in the other. "What appen to you?" He asks. "Well, the farmer gave me a bottle of wine, his wife, the cigar and their 19 year old daughter made wild passionate love to me." "My God! What did you tell dem?" asked President Hussein. The driver answered: "Good evening, I am Saddam Hussein's chauffeur and I have just killed the pig." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karate_woman Posted June 20, 2003 Share Posted June 20, 2003 70-year old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with normal results. Dr. Smith said, "George, everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with yourself, and do you have a good relationship with God?" George replied, "God and me are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so that when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom *poof* the light goes on, when I'm done *poof* the light goes off." "Wow!" commented Dr. Smith, "That's incredible!" A little later in the day Dr. Smith called George's wife. Ethel, he said, "George is doing fine. Physically he's great. But, I had to call because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and *poof* the light goes on in the bathroom, and then when he is through *poof* the light goes off?" Ethel exclaimed, "Oh, no! He's peeing in the refrigerator again. The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. -Lao-Tse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bruce lee kid14 Posted March 23, 2005 Share Posted March 23, 2005 ok my turn......i think....uhhhh...O ya hereYo moma so fat, she fell in love and broke it this 1's sort of a martial arts joke its only funny if ur smart enough to get it and if u have a good sense of humor.yo moma so tall, when she does backflips, she dropkicked jesus. http://tm.wc.ask.com/r?t=c&s=p&id=30751&sv=z6f5372f2&uid=297d5564997d55649&sid=397d5564997d55649&p=%2ftopimage&o=0&u=http://www.poster.net/lee-bruce/lee-bruce-dragons-fury-5000096.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CompactDinnerFork Posted March 24, 2005 Share Posted March 24, 2005 Your Momma Is sooo fat gravity gave up on her and she STILL touchs the floor!!-Lukey! Dear God,Please Have Mercy On My ApponentsBecause I Wont. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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