got jokes???

[Kickbutt]

:lol:

 

That one's been making the rounds via e-mail lately...good one! So uh...what are you saying YODA?? You think we're all that difficult to understand?? Think carefully now before you answer that question.... ....Lori

 

 

[SBN Doug]

Yes..yes..yes..yes..yes..yes..yes..yes..yes..yes..yes..yes..yes..yes..yes..

 

yes..yes..yes..yes..yes..yes..yes..yes..yes..yes..yes..yes..yes..yes..yes.

 

I've been married 13yrs and the answer has been and will always be YES!!!!!!!!!!

 

:lol:

 

[ This Message was edited by: KSN Doug on 2002-02-20 08:27 ]

[kicker]

good joke KSN doug

 

Two blondes were going to Disneyland when they came to a fork in the road. The sign read: "Disneyland Left."

 

So they went home.

 

 

[SaiFightsMS]

Got a list of international marketing goofs. Some are funny.

 

The Pinto in Brazil

 

When Ford introduced the Pinto in Brazil it sold very poorly. Then they found the reason. The word pinto in Brazilliam slang meant "tiny male genitals". Ford pried off all the nametags and renamed the Brazillian version Corcel, meaning Horse.

 

 

[kicker]

A blonde's response to the comment, "THINK about it!":

 

"I don't have to think -- I'm blonde!"

 

 

[SaiFightsMS]

Lady gets on a plane carrying a birdcage. She sits down in the seat assigned to her on the aisle. So what does she ask her seatmate who has the window seat?

 

Would you mind changind seats with me so my bird can look out of the window.

 

(True story happened to one of my neighbors many years ago.)

 

 

[SBN Doug]

This tale comes from a Catholic elementary school. . .

 

Up at the head table in the cafeteria, one of the nuns had placed a big bowl of bright red, fresh, juicy apples.

 

Beside the bowl, she placed a note which read, "Take only one. Remember, God is watching."

 

At the other end of the table was a bowl full of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, still warm from the oven.

 

Beside the bowl, a little note scrawled in a child's handwriting which read, "Take all you want. God's watching the apples."

[SaiFightsMS]

Tea with the Queen

 

==================

 

While visiting England, Bill Clinton is invited to

 

tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people. He asks how she knows if they're intelligent.

 

"I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen. "Allow me to demonstrate." She phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister, please answer this question: "Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"

 

Tony Blair responds, "It's me, ma'am."

 

"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Queen. She hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Clinton?"

 

"Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"

 

Upon returning to Washington, he decides he'd better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test.

 

He summons Jesse Helms to the White House and says, "Senator Helms, I wonder if you'd mind answering a question for me?"

 

"Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?"

 

"Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

 

Helms hems and haws and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back to you?"

 

Clinton agrees and Helms leaves. Helms immediately calls a meeting of other senior Republican senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in exasperation, Helms calls Colin Powell at the State Department and explains his problem. "Now look here, son, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

 

Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course, you idiot."

 

Much relieved, Helms rushes back to the White House and exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's Colin Powell!"

 

And Clinton replies in disgust, "Wrong, senator. It's Tony Blair."

 

 

[spinninggumby]

Ummm wow brain freeze. Sai Fights I am sure that the joke was really funny I just donta get it?? () Do you hafta know a lot about politics. Anyways don't bother explaining it haha I just can't seem to figure it out although partly I seem to think that I have missed something big here hehehehe

[kicker]

How did the blonde die raking leaves?

 

She fell out of the tree!