got jokes???

[kicker]

hahaha @ Sai

 

joke interview with Osama bin Laden at JAIL

 

q 1- where were you at the time of the accientdent in usa?

 

a 1- In my cave with having *** with my sheep.

 

THAt must have been fun.

 

q 2-well who did they capure you?

 

a 2- i was going hunting cause i smelled something and boom they were on me on top.

 

well that must have been fun for you with the officers wonder if it's on tonight at t.v.

 

 

 

[SaiFightsMS]

Q :???:Why was there a bug in the computer?

 

A. :spitlaugh:It was looking for a byte to eat.

[kicker]

lol sai computer jokes

 

 

[SaiFightsMS]

Okay how about this:

 

Farmer Joe and his Mule

 

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe.

 

"Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?"

 

"Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the--"

 

"I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?"

 

"Well I had just got Bessie into the trailer and was driving down the road--"

 

"Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question." By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe's answer and told the lawyer so.

 

"Well," said the farmer, "as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear ol' Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me. He said, "Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her. How are you feeling?"

 

 

[kicker]

lol sai

 

 

[SaiFightsMS]

GIDDY-UP

 

A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse's trainer meets him before the race and says, "All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, "ALLLLEEE OOOP!" really loudly in the horse's ear. Providing you do that, you'll be fine."

 

The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command. The race begins and they approach the first hurdle. The jockey ignores the trainer's ridiculous advice and the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.

 

They carry on and approach the second hurdle. The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers "Aleeee ooop" in the horse's ear. The same thing happens -- the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.

 

At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, "It's no good, I'll have to do it" and yells, "ALLLEEE OOOP!" really loudly. Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems. This continues for the rest of the race, but due to the earlier problems the horse only finishes third. The trainer is fuming and asks the jockey what went wrong. The jockey replies, "Nothing is wrong with me -- it's this bloody horse. What is he -- deaf or something?"

 

The trainer replies, "Deaf?? DEAF?? He's not deaf -- he's BLIND!"

 

[kicker]

 

 

Joke:

 

Eleven people were clinging precariously to a wildly swinging rope suspended from a crumbling outcropping on Mount Everest. Ten were blonde, one was a brunette.

 

As a group, they decided that one of the party should let go. Otherwise, the rope would break and everyone would perish.

 

For an agonizing few moments no one volunteered.

 

Finally, the brunette gave a truly touching speech, saying she would sacrifice herself to save the lives of the others.

 

The ten blondes applauded.

 

 

[SaiFightsMS]

Spoons

 

This guy is eating at an exclusive eatery when the waiter comes up to his table and asks if everything is OK. The man replies "Yes," but during the conversation drops his spoon on the floor. The waiter immediately pulls a spoon out of his shirt pocket. The man asks, "Why do you carry a spoon in your pocket?" The waiter states that the place is so busy all the time that the employees need to save time any way they can so they did a survey and the most dropped eating utensil was the spoon, so now all the waiters carry spoons so they don't have to go to the kitchen and get one. The man thinks that is great.

 

Later on the waiter again stops by to see if everything was OK. This time the man notices a string sticking out of the waiters zipper. He asks what that was for, and the waiter says, "When we go to the bathroom, we just grab the string and pull "it" out. That way we don't have to wash our hands, thus saving us time. "Interesting," says the man, "but how do you put 'it' back in your pants when you're done?" The waiter says, "I don't know about the other waiters, but I use the spoon."

 

:spitlaugh:

 

 

[kicker]

blond or blind ??

 

blond-someone who does stupid thing like jump off a cliff for fun(in jokes only no affensive or anything )

 

blind-um.. that sounds like a blind blond from one of her stupid aventures (no affensive or anything )

 

 

[SaiFightsMS]

:eek:What does a snow man eat for breakfast

 

Frosted Flakes