got jokes???

[kicker]

 

always put on another layer before winter hits!!!

[GoldDragon]

Befuddled PC users flood help lines, and no question

 

seems to be too basic.

 

AUSTIN, Texas - The exasperated help-line caller said

 

she couldn't get her new Dell computer to turn on.

 

Jay Ablinger, a Dell Computer Corp. technician, made

 

sure the computer was plugged in and then asked the

 

woman what happened when she pushed the power button.

 

"I've pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing

 

happens," the woman replied. "Foot pedal?" the technician asked. "Yes," the woman said, "this little white foot

 

pedal with the on switch." The "foot pedal," it turned

 

out, was the computer's mouse, a hand-operated device

 

that helps to control the computer's operations.

 

One woman called Dell's toll-free line to ask how to

 

install batteries in her laptop. When told that the

 

directions were on the first page of the manual, says

 

Steve Smith, Dell director of technical support, the

 

woman replied angrily, "I just paid $2,000 for this

 

!@#? thing, and I'm not going to read a book."

 

Compaq's help center in Houston, Texas, is inundated by

 

some 8,000 consumer calls a day, with inquiries like

 

his one related by technician John Wolf: "A frustrated

 

customer called, who said her brand new Contura would

 

not work. She said she had unpacked the unit, plugged

 

it in, opened it up and sat there for 20 minutes waiting

 

for something to happen. When asked what happened when

 

she pressed the power switch, she asked,

 

'What power switch?'"

 

Seemingly simple computer features baffle some users.

 

So many people have called to ask where the "any" key

 

is when "Press Any Key" flashes on the screen that

 

Compaq is considering changing the command to

 

"Press Return Key."

 

Some people can't figure out the mouse. Tamra Eagle,

 

an AST technical support supervisor, says one customer

 

complained that her mouse was hard to control with the

 

"dust cover" on. The cover turned out to be the plastic

 

bag the mouse was packaged in. Dell technician Wayne

 

Zieschang says one of his customers held the mouse and

 

pointed it at the screen, all the while clicking madly.

 

Disk drives are another bugaboo. One customer was having

 

trouble reading word-processing files from his old

 

diskettes. After troubleshooting for magnets and heat

 

failed to diagnose the problem, Mr. Sullivan asked what

 

else was being done with the diskette. The customer's

 

response: "I put a label on the diskette, roll it into

 

the typewriter..."

 

At AST, another customer dutifully complied with a

 

technician's request that she send in a copy of a defective

 

floppy disk. A letter from the customer arrived a few days

 

later, along with a Xerox copy of the floppy.

 

At Dell, a technician advised his customer to put his

 

troubled floppy back in the drive and "close the door."

 

Asking the technician to "hold on," the customer put the

 

phone down and was heard walking over to shut the door

 

to his room.

 

The software inside the computer can be equally

 

befuddling. A Dell customer called to say he couldn't

 

get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of

 

troubleshooting, the technician discovered the man was

 

trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front

 

of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.

 

Another customer called to complain that his keyboard no

 

longer worked. He had cleaned it, he said, filling up his

 

tub with soap and water and soaking his keyboard for a

 

day, and then removing all the keys and washing them

 

individually.

 

 

[kicker]

lol gold!!

 

So where you find all the long jokes at a web site ?

[GoldDragon]

lol yep kicker.....

 

I know where to look and how to find them ...

 

I will post out more when i can

 

 

[GoldDragon]

Actually--i get them in my email

 

 

[kicker]

oh okay!!

[kickboxerboy]

cool i guess thats how you come up with jokes!! lol

[kicker]

so theres no more good jokes around to tell isn`t there?

[GoldDragon]

no idea,..

 

Heres one:

 

Knock Knock-------

 

Whos there --------

 

Gold------

 

Gold Who?--------

 

GOLDDRAGON

 

dude, that was absolutly corney......lol

 

 

[kicker]

lol!!

 

hers one

 

knock knock...

 

whos there....

 

kick your....

 

kick your who....

 

KICK YOUR ASS!!