Over/under estimated skills

[Spartacus Maximus]

Even before I slowly started to think important parts were missing, I gave little importance to getting the next rank. I postponed my shodan grading at least three times and in the end my instructor at the time had to push me into it.

Giving up a rank or grade is easy once one accepts its arbitrary and symbolic significance. Changing ten years of habits and ingrained movements is another category of difficulty.

[CredoTe]

Even before I slowly started to think important parts were missing, I gave little importance to getting the next rank. I postponed my shodan grading at least three times and in the end my instructor at the time had to push me into it.

Giving up a rank or grade is easy once one accepts its arbitrary and symbolic significance. Changing ten years of habits and ingrained movements is another category of difficulty.

To the bold type, this is part of the key, the physical part, to seeking the truth in one's MA journey. I am in almost the exact same scenario, and like you, have been given (I would say divinely) the opportunity to train with a master that knows what the missing pieces are. For my journey, the Ti contains all the missing pieces and parts, all the missing wisdom that was supposed to have been passed down through the generations via Okinawan toudi/tote/karate-do. As you say, the most difficult part, physically, is re-training waza and muscle memory that has been ingrained for many years.

I really hope you stick with it because the knowledge and wisdom gained from all of this really is worth it.

[Spartacus Maximus]

There certainly is a lot of pressure, but also much encouragement from my teachers high expectations and hopes. Strating over from zero to my most recent evaluation has taken nearly two years but in those two years there was more to be learned and practised than in all the five years trained to earn my original shodan fifteen years ago.

[CredoTe]

There certainly is a lot of pressure, but also much encouragement from my teachers high expectations and hopes. Strating over from zero to my most recent evaluation has taken nearly two years but in those two years there was more to be learned and practised than in all the five years trained to earn my original shodan fifteen years ago.

Therein lies the silver lining. It looks like the current path you're on has already started to pay back in dividends much greater than the training you received before. I couldn't help but feel satisfied and content when this very thing occurred to me; the realization that the small amount of training on my current path had more value / quality / weight than the training I had previously received.

[Spartacus Maximus]

Sometimes the strength needed to let go falters and disappointment starts to disrupt focus. After all karate has occupied so much time for so many years and I cannot help feeling a sense of great deception at not reaching the goal of finding what I had been looking for initially.

Even after searching at the source of karate I had managed to get lost and circle around missing what I tried so hard to find. Luck and unexpected circumstances have proved that searching is as important or perhaps more than anything found.

[bushido_man96]

Sometimes the strength needed to let go falters and disappointment starts to disrupt focus. After all karate has occupied so much time for so many years and I cannot help feeling a sense of great deception at not reaching the goal of finding what I had been looking for initially.

Try to keep in mind that an instructor, no matter how good an instructor he is, can only teach you what he or she knows. It could be that he didn't have the knowledge to pass on what your current instructor does. Perhaps he did the best he could, and didn't think he was doing you a disservice. Instead of being disappointed in your prior training, just focus on the road before you.

[Spartacus Maximus]

Just as my present teacher does now, I know my previous ones taught me in good faith and more importantly they believed in their students. It is their encouragement and their example that helped me continue my commitment to karate. I heard that at some point everyone has a low point to overcome and I think this is it for me.

[bushido_man96]

Just as my present teacher does now, I know my previous ones taught me in good faith and more importantly they believed in their students. It is their encouragement and their example that helped me continue my commitment to karate. I heard that at some point everyone has a low point to overcome and I think this is it for me.

I think that if this is the lowest point in your training journey, then you are going to do pretty well.

[Spartacus Maximus]

It is the lowest point up to now. There is no way to know what else might be ahead.

[bushido_man96]

It is the lowest point up to now. There is no way to know what else might be ahead.

No, there isn't, but I wouldn't hold onto the negative for too long. It isn't productive.