karatekid1975 Posted October 30, 2002 Share Posted October 30, 2002 Hiya all. I need your opinion on something. Here goes: I'll start the story from when I got my green belt .... Of course I was excited. Then I got to high green belt (blue stripe). The responsibility of being class senior comes with it ...... eeekkkkkk. I was so scared to be class senior. I told my instructor that I wanted to go to day class (which is all ranks), because I hated night class for several reasons, but not the real reason. The real reason was that I didn't want to be class senior. Being class senior, you have to lead the class in the student oath, and I get "stage fright" (I learned that when I used to play live in a band). But I went against my "demons" and went through with it. My voice cracked and I fumbled my words, but I did it. My instructor KNEW I didn't want to do it somehow, but he said I did well. The strange thing was, that night I was a totally different person in class (and classes there after). It's hard to explain. I was more sharp. I had to set an example for the lower ranks, so I was actually "trying" to improve stuff. Not that I didn't before, but this time was different. I guess my instructor noticed also, because he asked me to assist him in teaching forms (he broke the class up by rank and I got the green belts). I was so shocked. This is the first time he ever asked me. I was honored. So I tried really hard to be a good teacher. This makes me feel really bad about being so "close-minded" (I'm admitting it now LOL) when I first joined this school. I could kick myself for it LOL. Is this a sign of me maturing as a martial artist? Am I being more open-minded? Opinions? Laurie F Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueDragon1981 Posted October 30, 2002 Share Posted October 30, 2002 I think you are. When you realize people are watching and learning from you it tends to bring more out of you. Whatever the reason. Some may not want to look bad ect. This open mindedness also improves your ability to teach people. Everyone learns differently so keeping your mind open for any trials is a very good thing. I started teaching at a young age and learned many things from it. With rank you should want to improve yourself but when you teach you should want to improve yourself and improve what others are doing. So you have to know your stuff inside and out. Which makes you concetrate even more on your technique. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KickChick Posted October 30, 2002 Share Posted October 30, 2002 Laur .... first of all, congrats to you on your advancement to "senior" status and all that comes with it! See ... you did fine! Sometimes all that one needs to build their own self confidence in their ability is for someone else to acknowledge that ability and place a level their confidence in you.... as your instructor has done. You are coming into the full realization of all that you have been in training for! Sometimes it takes a while for it to all come together.... you start taking your training a bit more seriously, and you start to fine tune your technique .... but having someone else see this in you is sometimes the clincher! ...better to be maturing as a martial artist than a martial artist who is maturing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZeRo Posted October 30, 2002 Share Posted October 30, 2002 well done with your new position and im sure you will and are doin very well with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karatekid1975 Posted October 30, 2002 Author Share Posted October 30, 2002 Thanks everyone I taught in my other dojang before, but this was different. I donno what happened. I think Blue and Kickchick nailed it, though. Training for two years (TSD included) was hard work, and I always wanted to teach, to help people with something I never had (before MA), which is self confidence and self esteem. I found myself saying something to the effect of "I don't wanna hear the word 'can't. I wanna hear you say try" (one of the green belts said "this is hard. I can't do it right .... or something to that effect). And the word "can't" was something that I said a lot, also. Now, since I told her that, I want to stop saying the word "can't". I also faced a fear of "public speaking" and I just got up there and did it. Now, I don't mind it. I was also told that if I actually tried to spar (I do spar, but hate it) I could really kick butt. But I don't have enough confidence in myself, I think. Maybe since I went through this learning experience, I will be able to. Laurie F Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red J Posted October 30, 2002 Share Posted October 30, 2002 I think that you have gained the confidence that comes with overcoming a hurdle. This will not only help you in MA, but IMO, will be of great benefit in life in general. Congratulations on taking a risk and now reaping the benefits. And yes, it sounds like this experience has opened your mind. I had to lose my mind to come to my senses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaiFightsMS Posted October 30, 2002 Share Posted October 30, 2002 Being senior student affects people in different ways some favorably others unfavorably. Some can't wait others have to be pushed into it kicking and screaming. It is a big step regardless. Boy does this bring back memories. For the most part is is a big time for growth. You feel like you are learning so much. Then as time passes you realize how much more you need to know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karatekid1975 Posted October 31, 2002 Author Share Posted October 31, 2002 I totally agree with you both here (Sai and Red). It was such a learning experience for me that I wrote an article on it today (Patrick can chime in here ) Yes, Sai, I had to be pushed into it kicking and screaming LOL. But you know, it was a great experience for me The only thing is, I hope to the good Lord that I don't get an ego out of it. If so, I hope someone comes along with that "deflating ego" pin PUL-EEEEEEEZE!!!! I hate egos. Laurie F Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rabid hamster Posted October 31, 2002 Share Posted October 31, 2002 great job. im happy for ya karatekid. i hope you continue doing well. It is only with the heart that one can see clearly, for the most essential things are invisible to the eye. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karatekid1975 Posted October 31, 2002 Author Share Posted October 31, 2002 Thank you, Hiya Laurie F Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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