CredoTe Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 It was exhilarating when my wife was training with us at our dojo; but, I found that I was waaay harder on her than necessary, certainly more than I was on the other students. I wanted her to be absolutely perfect! It might save her life one day! But, I quickly found that it disrupted class more than anything, and could have been viewed as disrespectful in a certain way. So, I had one of our other instructors teach and help her in class from that point forward. She actually responded better to the other instructor and learned better, and I was OK with that. It might save her life one day... So, having a spouse to train with in class can be a very positive thing. But, it can also become a very stressful situation if allowed to go that way. Remember the Tii!In Life and Death, there is no tap-out... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sensei8 Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 It was exhilarating when my wife was training with us at our dojo; but, I found that I was waaay harder on her than necessary, certainly more than I was on the other students. I wanted her to be absolutely perfect! It might save her life one day! But, I quickly found that it disrupted class more than anything, and could have been viewed as disrespectful in a certain way. So, I had one of our other instructors teach and help her in class from that point forward. She actually responded better to the other instructor and learned better, and I was OK with that. It might save her life one day... So, having a spouse to train with in class can be a very positive thing. But, it can also become a very stressful situation if allowed to go that way.Solid post!!I wonder...Is it possible that we try to impress our spouse in one way or another, for whatever reason(s)?? As if my wife isn't already impressed with me, as well as being quite proud of me; not only am I a BB, but I'm also the CI. Do we seek other ways to impress our wife's while on the floor; as if she'll think more favorably towards us while we run the floor?I wonder... **Proof is on the floor!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CredoTe Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 It was exhilarating when my wife was training with us at our dojo; but, I found that I was waaay harder on her than necessary, certainly more than I was on the other students. I wanted her to be absolutely perfect! It might save her life one day! But, I quickly found that it disrupted class more than anything, and could have been viewed as disrespectful in a certain way. So, I had one of our other instructors teach and help her in class from that point forward. She actually responded better to the other instructor and learned better, and I was OK with that. It might save her life one day... So, having a spouse to train with in class can be a very positive thing. But, it can also become a very stressful situation if allowed to go that way.Solid post!!I wonder...Is it possible that we try to impress our spouse in one way or another, for whatever reason(s)?? As if my wife isn't already impressed with me, as well as being quite proud of me; not only am I a BB, but I'm also the CI. Do we seek other ways to impress our wife's while on the floor; as if she'll think more favorably towards us while we run the floor?I wonder... Hmmm... maybe on a subconscious level it could be about impressiveness... On a conscious level, my "harshness" with my wife was driven by my desire for her to be perfect because of the "it might save her life one day" mentality.Hmmm... Remember the Tii!In Life and Death, there is no tap-out... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sensei8 Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 It was exhilarating when my wife was training with us at our dojo; but, I found that I was waaay harder on her than necessary, certainly more than I was on the other students. I wanted her to be absolutely perfect! It might save her life one day! But, I quickly found that it disrupted class more than anything, and could have been viewed as disrespectful in a certain way. So, I had one of our other instructors teach and help her in class from that point forward. She actually responded better to the other instructor and learned better, and I was OK with that. It might save her life one day... So, having a spouse to train with in class can be a very positive thing. But, it can also become a very stressful situation if allowed to go that way.Solid post!!I wonder...Is it possible that we try to impress our spouse in one way or another, for whatever reason(s)?? As if my wife isn't already impressed with me, as well as being quite proud of me; not only am I a BB, but I'm also the CI. Do we seek other ways to impress our wife's while on the floor; as if she'll think more favorably towards us while we run the floor?I wonder... Hmmm... maybe on a subconscious level it could be about impressiveness... On a conscious level, my "harshness" with my wife was driven by my desire for her to be perfect because of the "it might save her life one day" mentality.Hmmm... Solid post!!Wanting the wife to be effective when it will count is why us husbands teach them as we do. In that, shouldn't all of our students get that same for the same reasons?!A tiny part of it might be that us men, love to show-off for our wife's; it's not always appreciated!! **Proof is on the floor!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ninjanurse Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 My husband and I have trained martial arts "together" for the past 30 years, and yes, it is as challenging (if not more) as teaching your own children!!! Hence, we now study different arts-each having our own niche yet sharing what we know with each other and our students. "A Black Belt is only the beginning."Heidi-A student of the artsTae Kwon Do,Shotokan,Ju Jitsu,Modern Arnishttp://the100info.tumblr.com/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CTTKDKing Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 This is a tree I've been barking up for a long time. My wife has a thing with getting sweaty and having to touch other people that drives her away from it and toward things like boot camps and yoga classes. Those types of things are great and have their benefits, but she's a very passive person and I wish she'd either come to classes or let me teach her. She also has some trust issues, with people who are not me, so there's more issues with the touching/grabbing. That and there's always excuses to not do it when i try to show her something at home. "The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JR 137 Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 My wife expressed some interest when I was looking into schools around February, but hasn't followed through. I brought it up once or twice since I joined, but didn't push. She's told me sometime in the future every time.The more I think about it, the more I'm happy with her not training. It's a purely selfish thing, in which I'm not happy with myself, but it is what it is.As I posted in the Why do you train thread, the dojo is the only place I've got that I can completely isolate myself from everything that goes on at home and work. My 4 year old daughter goes to school where I teach, and my 2 year old will start the pre-k 3 program there this fall.I love my daughters and wife more than anything in the world, but is an hour or so 2-3 times a week too much to ask for?I'll try to get her to train when the girls are old enough to join my dojo. It would be pretty cool for the 4 of us to train together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IcemanSK Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 My wife trained with me for awhile when I first opened up my school. I found it hard to teach her. She trained for about 6 months before she started grad school. I encourage her to follow her passions, and she encourages me to follow mine. Being a good fighter is One thing. Being a good person is Everything. Kevin "Superkick" McClinton Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lupin1 Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 I've thought about asking my boyfriend to train with me a few times and some people at my school have suggested it, but I don't think it would work out.Karate is something you need a personal interest in to really embrace as an adult. My boyfriend is a very large guy who's won every fight he's ever been in using the "Hulk smash and destroy" method and he always concealed carries daily. To him, everything we do in class would seem impractical and worthless and he wouldn't appreciate the tradition of the kata at all.So sometimes it's just better for people to have their own seperate hobbies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JR 137 Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 I've thought about asking my boyfriend to train with me a few times and some people at my school have suggested it, but I don't think it would work out.Karate is something you need a personal interest in to really embrace as an adult. My boyfriend is a very large guy who's won every fight he's ever been in using the "Hulk smash and destroy" method and he always concealed carries daily. To him, everything we do in class would seem impractical and worthless and he wouldn't appreciate the tradition of the kata at all.So sometimes it's just better for people to have their own seperate hobbies.Very good post. My wife has expressed interest, but I honestly wonder how long it would last. She'd be far better off doing some cardio kickboxing where you pay per class or at the local Y. If I know her as well as I think I do anyway.Nothing wrong with having different interests at all. It's fun to share stuff that's important, but you can't force it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now