Martial arts heritage

[Spartacus Maximus]

Everyone has heard stories about those who were taught martial arts by their father, grandfather or other close family member. I often wonder how teaching my own child would work out and how it would or should be different from teaching someone who is not my family.

I would really like to know if anyone has been taught by a close relative and also if anyone is teaching their own child. How is it different from teaching regular students? What works and what doesn't ?

[ninjanurse]

In my experience it is difficult to teach your own child as the they have a hard time reconciling the instructor/student relationship with you being "mom or dad". We gave it a go but ultimately found someone else to train them.

[DWx]

Don't have kids but from seeing other people do the same, I would say 9/10 it is better to find a different person to teach your kids. Either you're too easy on them because they're your kid, too hard on them because they're your kid or other students think you're treating them differently because they're you're kid. There's also potential animosity or ill feeling when either yourself or your child cannot separate what happens in the dojo from what happens at home.

[sensei8]

It can be quite rewarding, even though, I've not had the opportunity myself. Yet, what Heidi and Danielle speak towards are quite fruitful; I'd listen to their advise closely.

The biggest thing, I can imagine is "being" the instructor over your own kids. Having said that, there are many well known MA Masters that have their kids as assistants; high ranking assistants. Kanazawa, Gibu, Joo Bang Lee, and Nakamura, and the list goes on.

I suppose it's a mindset between the two that have to be cultivated over the years.

[Spartacus Maximus]

Fortunately for me, I still have a few years to ponder this question because my children are still too young. I have certainly no intention of pushing or forcing my interest onto them. However I am determined to do everything I possibly can to get them interested and encourage them to try it.

What I wonder about the most are the cases that were successful because I know that those are not the norm. When I think about people like those mentioned by Sensei8, I cannot help wondering how they taught their children and how that affected the way they got along as family. How are so-called family systems started or maintained over generations? Is that still possible in this day and age?

[bushido_man96]

Don't have kids but from seeing other people do the same, I would say 9/10 it is better to find a different person to teach your kids. Either you're too easy on them because they're your kid, too hard on them because they're your kid or other students think you're treating them differently because they're you're kid. There's also potential animosity or ill feeling when either yourself or your child cannot separate what happens in the dojo from what happens at home.

I agree with this, 100%. I learned from an early age from my dad, but, not for very long. I eventually joined a school, and it went from there.

If my kids ever decide they want do TKD with me, I'll bring them in. But I won't make them do it. I have both of my boys in Wrestling, and I help them there as much as possible (probably too much at times), but its their thing, while TKD is my thing.

[sensei8]

Fortunately for me, I still have a few years to ponder this question because my children are still too young. I have certainly no intention of pushing or forcing my interest onto them. However I am determined to do everything I possibly can to get them interested and encourage them to try it.

What I wonder about the most are the cases that were successful because I know that those are not the norm. When I think about people like those mentioned by Sensei8, I cannot help wondering how they taught their children and how that affected the way they got along as family. How are so-called family systems started or maintained over generations? Is that still possible in this day and age?

I believe that those noted MAist taught their children the same way that they taught the general student body. By that, I'm almost sure that there was no favor afforded their children; all students same!! But having the Master right there at home, had more access to the Master, I mean, they lived under the same roof!! I'm also sure that the Master separated the family formality from the Dojo formality.

I believe it's still quite possible today because the Master is rooted, therefore, the children adopt that mindset, and therefore, become the proponents of the Master, therefore, the style!! You can see this being a possible when the children of many noted Masters are Senior Ranks; and I'm sure that those children were more so under the microscope than others.

[wayneshin]

I have taught all 3 of my children and it has been a very positive thing for my family. I have a daughter now 21, daughter 18 and son 15. All started around 4. My oldest daughter is now 3rd Dan, my son is (Junior) 2nd Dan. My youngest daughter no longer trains due to illness. All 3 have been involved in competition and have represented their country on multiple occasions.

I have learned plenty in teaching them, made a few mistakes but at the end of the day I have a good relationship with each of them and in my (somewhat biased) opinion, competition aside, the 2 that still train are pretty decent martial artists.

My first piece of advice is never ever initiate any training at home. Leave Sensei in the dojo.

The second thing is never forget that they will always see you as Dad, no matter that you are Sensei to everyone else. You tread a fine line between being too hard on them and letting them get away with too much.

[Spartacus Maximus]

Training has been a part of my life for a very long time. I do it at home as part of my daily routine so separating it from the home environment is not something I am willing to change. I go to a dojo to train with my own sensei, but my home is my personal dojo.

Maybe it is easier to teach one's own children before teaching anyone else in a separate place away from home. I reckon if one can successfully teach one's own children, it would give valuable insight when teaching other people.