Husband doesn't like me studying Karate

[KarateMom]

shotochem,

 

Thanks for the kind words! Our daughter was also taking Karate (She was in the Tiny Tiger class) she is 3 1/2. This was a bad idea. She started to misbehave at preschool, home and Karate class. We took her out of it. (Maybe when she's older we'll try again.)

 

You are right though about making up the class and the grading period.

 

Thank you!

[KarateMom]

[KickChick]

I can "understand" your situation also KarateMom

 

About 10 years agao I was given the from my husband to join the family classes with my son (then 7). My son dropped out a year later and my daughter took his place and the both of us were going on diiferent days(family classes cancelled).

 

I took 2 years off when I found out I was pregnant in '94 went back in '96 as a green belt. I could never have trained without the support my husband gave me. He knew it was beneficial for me ... mentally & physically.

 

When I started to teach a cardio class together with training 2 nights a week ... it started to "irk" him. My older children also had alot of extracurricular activities and then there was homework help etc. etc.

 

So I decided to just teach my class and put off my training (I was already black belt) for almost a year. He never said to do so but I knew we were all stressing out because of my absence.... and instead of my training being "positive" it was "taking away" from our home life at the time.

 

When things settled down (and they do!) I went back to training and also am managing to teach the cardio class on top of that as before.

 

My husband also takes the cardio classes at the school (great stress reliever) and is sometimes in my class.

 

Examine your own personal situation with him.

 

Your children are still very young .... it is difficult to devote yourself entirely to training right now. I train in school and out and you don't want to neglect the time you need to spend with your children, you'll regret it. But if you are doing 2 classes a week only at school then that should be something you can work around no problem.

 

Do the positives outweigh the negatives?

 

What other outlet could you possibly have "outside the home" that would create such positive personal goals? .... going out drinking & dancing, shopping, ceramics, ....bowling? I think not. . For some women the main reason they begin martial arts could be one of many. Some want more self confidence, others want the exercise that martial arts can give them. There are some that start martial arts for the socialization. You need to convey your reason to your husband and let him know that he too is a very important part in you achieving this "goal" for yourself.

 

My husband is so very proud of me and my accomplishments, but I make it a point to tell him that I couldn't do it without him (... and now with the help of my older two children).

 

This is one of the many reasons why there aren't as many "MWC"females in martial arts.... it is sad but true. Some find they need to be superwoman and that just isn't the case. ..... you just need a super man!

 

Listen, email me if you need any more supportive advice ...

[SBN Doug]

Hey KarateMom,

 

Any chance of getting him to go along with you?? It's early and I'm just getting my coffee, so forgive me if you already tried this.

 

What's the worst that could happen if you don't make up the class? Probably just delay one promotion, which isn't too bad. You want to be in it for the long haul anyway.

 

Interesting point about your daughter. There have also been threads here as to how old the children should be before starting. My personal opinion is the 8-10 range, depending on maturity.

 

Good luck.

[Red J]

Some find they need to be superwoman and that just isn't the case. ..... you just need a super man!

 

Great line...It's true, you need two super people to have a healthy marriage.

[KarateMom]

Thank you everyone for all of the advice(SP?)!

 

KSN Doug - I asked him to go with me and he said hevwould think about it. A few months went by and I asked him again, he said he wasn't interested at the time. So, I have stopped asking him about going to Karate.

 

KickChick - I hear you! I think my husband is jealous of the fact that I have a hobby outside the house that I enjoy and excel at. Not to mention the fact that I have made numerous friends in my nine months of training. I just want to do something for myself, I am training to: get more self confidence, exercise, and God forbid be able to protect myself and my two children if the times comes.

 

I just wish he would get a hobby or if he doesn't want to take up a hobby be happy for me that I have one! My husband and children come first and I have told him that until I'm blue in the face, I've even told him that I would put off training for awhile if that would make him feel better.

[KarateMom]

I told my husband that we really needed to talk about the Karate topic. This is what I got

 

After I told him my side I also told him this:

 

I would prefer to go to class by myself, afterall this is suposed to be for me. But since I am going twice a week I will take one child with me one of the two nights.

 

Response

 

So I guess he can't handle two kids under 4 years of age for 45 minutes 2 times per week.

[ZeRo]

well atleast you got a response, well done and hopfully it will all go smoothly from now on.

[SaiFightsMS]

Good luck to you.

[shotochem]

Hi KM,

 

I recommend taking the older one. It will be easier on the husband and Im sure the instructor will understand the occasional bow off the mat for "parental disiplinary actions". After a year of watching me train and begging to train again my son just started to train again . Hes taking TKD .

 

So if maturity is an issue like it is with my son, having the child watch for a while may help as she matures. Its a wonderful thing to be able to train with your kids. It can be annoying at times but they and you will enjoy the time spent together.

 

(oh no Ive gotten in touch with my feminine side!!! )