KarateMom Posted October 13, 2002 Posted October 13, 2002 Hello everyone, I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place! nine months ago my husband was encouraging me ( a stay at home mom) to get out of the house and take up a hobby. So after some thought and research I decided to take up Karate at a Do Jo 10 minutes away from our home. FYI I discussed this with him prior to starting classes and he was fine with it.( so he said.) We have two children oldest is almost 4 y.o. youngest is almost one. So this requires him being home to watch them or I have to take them with me(and try to take class while watching them! ) I go to class twice a week. I had a really bad day two weeks ago and miss read the class schedule, I went at 7 pm instead of 6:15pm. This put me down one class as we are required to have at least 8 classes per month. (I willingly admit being down a class is my fault!, This was a Thursday night) I asked my husband to please watch the kids Friday night so I could go to class and then I wouldn't need to make it up. He said absolutely not! My main problem is, my husband doesn't under stand why I need to make up this class and refuses to allow my to go to class 3 times just one week in order to make up the missed class but also to stay caught up! I don't want to upset him but I feel I should be able to continue taking Karate! I think he feels by coming home late or refusing to watch the kids that I'll get tired of taking them with me and stop taking Karate. I personally think if he didn't like it he should have said something before I really got involved (I'm an Orange belt) Don't get me wrong my husband works hard at his job. But his job is from 8 am to 5 pm Monday thru Friday. As a mom my job never ends! He doesn't have any hobbies that he goes out side of the house to do, however I have told him to go do something! Get out of the house and have some fun! He chooses not to. What do you think? ~*KarateMom*~
Bon Posted October 13, 2002 Posted October 13, 2002 I still don't understand why you need to make up the class, WHY DO YOU ? It takes sacrifice to be the best.There are always two choices, two paths to take. One is easy. And its only reward is that it's easy.
KarateMom Posted October 13, 2002 Author Posted October 13, 2002 In order to have 8 classes per month (Saying there are 4 weeks in the month) I have to go twice a week. I went on Monday of that week and I went on Thursday but at the wrong time( So I couldn't take that class as it was a kids class) I normally go on Monday and Wednesday. This means I only went once that week (since I couldn't go on that Friday) I had 7 classes that month instead of 8. Hence I need to make up one class to have 8 for that month. ~*KarateMom*~
Red J Posted October 13, 2002 Posted October 13, 2002 It sounds like you need to talk to him, not us! Good luck. I had to lose my mind to come to my senses.
KarateMom Posted October 13, 2002 Author Posted October 13, 2002 I have! I think he is jealous of the fact that I have a hobby that I like outside the house and that I have made many friends. I have never discouraged him from going and doing something for himself! ~*KarateMom*~
rabid hamster Posted October 13, 2002 Posted October 13, 2002 sounds like a hard situation. a babysitter maybe? It is only with the heart that one can see clearly, for the most essential things are invisible to the eye.
Kyle-san Posted October 13, 2002 Posted October 13, 2002 sounds like a hard situation. a babysitter maybe? That sounds like the easiest solution to me.
Jack Posted October 13, 2002 Posted October 13, 2002 I think it is unreasonable that he is denying you to go out if its just one night. If it was permanently going three nights a week I may be able to understand about him not being enthusiastic since he may want to enjoy staying in with your company. Have an honest talk with the guy. He can't be saying you can't go out of malice or spite, there must be some reason. Just have a good chat with him and find out his reasoning. JackCurrently 'off' from formal MA trainingKarateForums.com
karatekid1975 Posted October 13, 2002 Posted October 13, 2002 I don't have that problem. My honey takes karate with me. And we don't have kids. But I did have that problem when one of my ex's didn't like me playing drums in a guys band (I was the only girl in the band). Come to find out, he was jealous. Talk to him and get him to take up a hobby of his own. I also see other moms taking their children to class with them. Even my bud Bob bring his girls. They sit quietly in the back of the dojang watching dad. Or find a babysitter. Laurie F
shotochem Posted October 14, 2002 Posted October 14, 2002 Hi KM, I belive Im quite familiar with this situation. Only I have a wife. She is not always as understanding as I would like. My solution is that I take my son with me. It fact he used to train there as well. I make time, take different classes and make it up in other ways (shopping, laundry, cooking ect... ). Hes probably like my wife and thought it was just a faze you are going through and now its the excuse for marital discord. I would not worry about missing a class occasionally after all its supposed to be an enjoyable hobby for you. If you miss a grading its no big deal there will be others. A belt is just a belt. It sucks to be a responsible adult but we do have lives outside the dojo. Its only 2 days . I would try to bring him along to watch he just may be a little jealous and needy. I just tell my wife that when Im home all I would do is sit and watch tv and eat chips. Ive dropped 50 lbs and look 10 yrs younger since I started, and It makes me a lot nicer to be around (we both beneifit) . Who knows maybe he'll give it a try too!!! Dont let it get you down.... Pain is only temporary, the memory of that pain lasts a lifetime.
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