...encouragement!

[Hawkmoon]

A few threads about punishment, and a few post on my part removed had me recall an odd and unexpected chat the other day with some of the guys, there had been a lot of exchanges...

...exchanges said to be encouragement.

This chat came about after a particularly long, hot, hard session, about 4 hrs, of which most of the 4 hrs was dedicated to full power kihon, full power bag work, combinations and knockdown bouts.

A few, and so the odd chat, of the exchanges were IMO less than helpful or even polite, so to hear a couple of the guys talking after the session, laughing about some of the reactions to theses comments had received, was intriguing to me. Not just because the 'laughing buddies' were the source of the comments I recalled hearing through the session, but because these comments were clearly thought to be encouraging!

We all train hard, but we all train differently. Now the mind set of you or this person or that dojo is going to be different, wildly so, in most if not all cases.

So please keep that in mind and remember this was a Kyokushin dojo and body of students.

1. The act of encouraging.

2. The state of being encouraged.

3. One that encourages.

I see this as a way of seeing the positive in an action or person and building on it and pushing them by 'uplifting' the mind set the persons feelings to do more, to push to endure.

This could be form simply saying that was great , do it again like that to things like 'screaming' that's it keep it go on more more!"

Not, as the discussion tried to validate, insults about the lack of ability or to run the person down pointing out the weakness or the fact the person is rubbish and should take up origami.

These comments directed at individuals who were just stating out in there knockdown career, as most had to this point only working in clicker or kata contests.

So ..... encouragement ..... what is it about what is it for, what do you do, how do you do it?

When does it become incitement or maybe provocation?

[bushido_man96]

First of all, since everyone is wired differently, its important to understand your students well enough to know how to effectively motivate them. Some are more intense than others, and like to be motivated and "pumped up" through yelling and the like. Some are more timid, and can be motivated by a bit of constructive critisim in a soft tone, not necessarily heard by everyone else in the room. From there, its a matter of tailoring your approach to each of the students, or groups of students.

[DWx]

I think encouragement vastly depends on who is giving it out, who is the recipient and their relationship. Unfortunately there isn't a one size fits all approach.

With my own instructor you know when he is encouraging you when he comes over and gives you corrections - he sees potential and you are worth his time. His wife offers praise. Of my two coaches, one shouts insults and tells you to "get your fat backside moving!!" whereas the other one doesn't say much at all and you have to read his body language to know if you are doing well or poorly.

At the end of the day some people thrive on being told that they've not given enough, that that last kick sucked. For other's it might have the opposite effect and they might take it as discouragement. That's where as an instructor, coach or even training partner you have to get to know the other person and see what motivates them.

[Hawkmoon]

.....please don't misunderstand me the comments came from students, not the instructors!!

The students were not even ones that I expected more from, one I'm sorry to say met no exceeded my expectations of him perfectly so to have him say and act as he did was not a shock in any way at all.

(Hence in the session I had all but ignored him and his comments to the others....yes I had also made sure I didn't work with him that session to keep away from that atmosphere)

The other guy, now this person does have an extremely well rehearsed poker face. I'm possibly 1 of maybe 2 or 3 others that can read him and I have to say it was not clear to me at the start of the chat where he stood on the subject or if he was just messing with the other guy....

Like I say I was intrigued.

His views were cleared up when he stated clearly that some people should just pack up and go home, as there low standards were bringing him down!

I was truly shocked to here this form him, I had expected more as we had weeks earlier been watching some of the very guys he was now attacking, pointing out and in full agreement with each other and sensei that with more practice and continued effort this or that guy could go on and have a good fighting career.

Yet here he was giving them a hard time, when they had missed no sessions and he was only just back after an absence of leave.

they had been working that night form the earliest the dojo opened where he had arrive 30 mins earlier than normal.

Sorry I see one group with commitment, another group with experience, I get (I do not understand the nature) the desire to encourage the fighters.........but no continuity on the middle ground between the two groups.

[kensei]

I totally agree that people are wired differently. In a past job I was managing a team of 25 staff that often had to get reviews and also meet about issues with their work. The 25 people ranged from little old ladies that had never used a computer but were great dealing with customers to young kids that were computer savy but had no idea what customer service was...so you can imagine the diverse ways we had to deal with them to motivate them.

The two that stick out the most was a middle aged guy I had to talk to about his attendence and a young lady that had the same issues!

The middle aged guy was handled as respectfully and PC as possible and we let him know that the event leading up to the meeting were completely due to the missed work and that we wanted to see him succeed. He explained that his daughter was very ill and she often needed him at home, his wife was a school teacher and we did not want to let him go, so we put him on "cassual" and he improved his attendence when the daughter got a bit better.....plus he was happy with us and worked his rear off for us.

The young gal...well I took a different approach. I said to her "what the HECK are you doing (Using Heck to fill in for an expletive starting with F) and asked her what she thought we wanted. The whole thing was very casual and laid back, not very proffessional and stuffy, the quick dressing down was followed with a "reverse the rolls, what would you do" and she got it.

Both approaches worked and motivated the staff. Like students you need to figure out the psychology of the students and see how you can motivate them.

[Tkdampbjj]

Though I posted about discipline I feel being positive with students is very important. I make sure to praise students improvement. This often drives them to continue to push themselves. Too much negativity can have a real negative impact on students.

[Hawkmoon]

Though I posted about discipline I feel being positive with students is very important. I make sure to praise students improvement. This often drives them to continue to push themselves. Too much negativity can have a real negative impact on students.

I agree it is as important, and in a dojo where honor and respect are practiced something that for a time is all always heard and in time is no longer stated as it is no longer needed!!

For me being away for so long with a 1kyu grade the pressure directed to me to do more to press to endure is massive, for the most part I do all that is required of me.

I have received praise as I have received correction, but one thing has always been clear to me, odd as this sounds, the extra attention I already receive is because there is a trust and respect in me and my ability.

On the occasions when I am seen to be down or less than happy with myself the guys regardless of grade take the time to remind me that the extra attention the extra focus is because I am that much better than expected.

This is to me 'encouragement'!

I am shouted at and I do more or I do better, a friendly voice focuses me on the good 'thing' I just completed and I feel happier and/or more confident and again I do more, I do better.

Yet here the insults I had heard and the drop in the other person attension/focus (clear as the nose on your face), really made no sense to me.

We learn new things everyday, so the situation as it was makes me take stock and makes me dig a bit more into what is or is not acceptable.

(This I'd say is a more difficult and complex subject that the discipline threads going on just now, less clear cut I think!)

[sensei8]

If an instructor doesn't know how to motivate their students, well, close the doors!!

Keeping an upbeat attitude BY THE INSTRUCTOR sure goes along way. On the other hand, a downbeat attitude BY THE INSTRUCTOR sure destroys the atmosphere quickly.

The tone is set by the INSTRUCTOR, whether it's good or bad. Hence, the INSTRUCTOR must be proactive in managing said tone!!

Treat others how you'd want to be treated. This seems like a good rule.

Remembering them by name means a lot to students. Greeting them by their name when they come in the front door, goes along way. Things like this motivate students.

Pep speeches!! I give them all of the time. Motivating them with the spoken word of positive encouragements, goes a long way, before, during, and after classes.

Keeping a smile on your face will motivate. Saying kind words of encouragement while on the floor will go a long way.

What we do, the MA, is hard, and in that, we instructors need to let our students know that we've had those days to, and from time to time, we still have those days as well.

Build them up at all times!!

[Hawkmoon]

Agreed!

Whole heatedly!

.. to step away form kyokushins mind set as it were for a moment.

Yes perfect its what I believe in positive reinforcement is a great asset and tool to get the best results form a person or group.

However, direct aggressive direction to a person of group also gives results, put simply some people are wired that way!

All of this I get and agree with, have no doubt on that .

What I struggle with is what I consider outright insults!

Tonight I'll be returning to the dojo after a week from training whilst I rested my ankle, I expect a flurry of comments as a result.

It will be in fun and so on, but insults for insults sake (keeping the drive of thread in mind) to me appear to be a big sign/signal of a person missing a few people skills, if it is negative to me or not, it will have an effect on others.

This thread stems from my interest in what others do to get the best out of others.

I want to understand if my reaction to the comments (the staying away and not working with them) was to be expected, did I over react, could I have acted in a better way to the situation, should I have acted differently? ? ?

As I mentioned I could see the effect on the others it was having and I wanted no part of it, to extend on that I also mean the others in the area and not just the other guy.

There is always a bad egg maybe two in any group (MA, football, boxing etc etc), or at the least someone who is border line so to return the the Kyokushin mind set, 'to push to endure', I'm trying to settle in my mind if that is a correct understanding or a perversion of that thought process...

..I cannot help but thing its a perversion, hence this thread !

[Tempest]

I wonder if this is a perversion of the mindset or not.

See, one part of motivating people is helping them to discover if this is what they truly want.

Motivation, true motivation in martial arts, must come from within. This is a marathon, not a sprint. And sometimes we as martial artists are going to feel like we are running it alone.

When that feeling hits, that is when you will look back to the hard times in the dojo and think "I got through that, and I will get through this."

See, the reason that motivation must be internal is that schools come and go, so do instructors, but each of us, as students, must choose whether to remain.