Instructor kicked my son as punishment - now what?

[kensei]

Not to take away further from this specific situation, as I feel very strongly that the instructor in question handled this poorly...to say the least.

Essentially when you have a situation with a student in class you have to gage what the level of infractions are. As an instructor for more than 25 years I have seen everything from Chatty kids to people that just like to hit each other and just about everything in between.

I normally say their are four things you can do in pretty much any of the cases:

1. Ignore the situation and let it go. This is best whent he infraction is an occasional outburst in class (talking) but this can be dangerous if its a student that likes to hurt others or who is always disruptive. And it should NEVER be used when you are seeing violent outbursts, dangerous practices or things that can harm others or your school.

2. a verbal dressing down! This can be used well for kids and adults that are not in danger of harming others but are doing things that can disrupt your class or harm your school in some way. However, you must be careful not to belittle the student or say things that may cause them to feel like you are acting in such a way as to really be seen as a form of humilation. Having said that, if they are doing something that you feel may harm your school, this can be the best way to push them out the door with a "...and you are out of the class for good" statement at the end.

3. Remove the student from class/the club! Like the dressing down this can be a temporary but effective way of dealing with the situation and or a perminent good bye! If a student is acting in such a way as they may harm others its a good first step to talk to the student, second strike and they are out for a short bit...third and they are gone! Unless the infraction warrents immediate boot to rear end! the problem with removing a issue from class is you can look weak in some peoples minds, but to be honest...I dont care. We are not parents or psychologists! its not my job to figure out why you are acting the way you do...its my job to safely introduce you to the martial arts...period. I have only kicked one kid out of class before and to be honest it did not help...he came back twice the terror because the parent actually put him into the program to deal with his issues because she could not. But in the end, for the good of the club and other members, I had to cut him from the program.

4. The very last and most unwarrented form of discipline...Physical! I have to say I have been known to give a kid a kick in the shorts (back end) and or a knock on the top of the head (light) to draw their attention back to class, but not like the old days with face slaps and wacks from a shinai beeing seen as not just acceptable but common. I can only thing of a all out fight between students as being a reason to physically touch a student in a violent or agressive way, and that for me would be to break up the fight only! If you can not use 1-3 effectivly and need to turn to 4....retire and take up basket weaving! their is NO case that a child student should be subjected to physical correction in the form of a kick, punch or slap! and if a instructor tried to do that to me as an adult, I would react with like force...and a tad more! its not acceptable in any way shape or form to abuse your students and I would suspect that the club that allows this...will close shortly.

Point being that if you can not handle your student...one of you should not be in that class!

[cheesefrysamurai]

many of you guys are very nice - i would not be.

I may go to the police, certainly be public about it. Confrontation with EVERYONE brown belt and above that was present as well as the chief instructor / owner.

There is no excuse for violence against a student unless its necessary to prevent further violence.

Pushups, extra ukemi, being the class uki, sit at the edge of the mat in seiza - FINE

If my instructor struck me, I would deserve it.

Disgusting and disgraceful

[sensei8]

If my instructor struck me out of anger and the like, I would've done everything in my powers to make sure he was held accountable for it because IT'S NOT RIGHT!!

Wrong is wrong and right is right. Who's to determine that? ME!! It would then be up to a judge if either was warranted or not.

Edited October 21, 2013 by sensei8

[cheesefrysamurai]

1 agree 100 percent. If I am running around the mat swinging a katana or being maliciously violent - I'm fair game but nothing short of that.

Again- disgusting and disgraceful- If I can't trust my Sensei - who can I trust???? We aren't talking about a lack of control- that happens and is acceptable. We are talking about the OPpOSITE of what the martial arts is supposed to be about.

If my instructor stuck me out of anger and the like, I would've done everything in my powers to make sure he was held accountable for it because IT'S NOT RIGHT!!

Wrong is wrong and right is right. Who's to determine that? ME!! It would then be up to a judge if either was warranted or not.

[sensei8]

1 agree 100 percent. If I am running around the mat swinging a katana or being maliciously violent - I'm fair game but nothing short of that.

Again- disgusting and disgraceful- If I can't trust my Sensei - who can I trust???? We aren't talking about a lack of control- that happens and is acceptable. We are talking about the OPpOSITE of what the martial arts is supposed to be about.

If my instructor stuck me out of anger and the like, I would've done everything in my powers to make sure he was held accountable for it because IT'S NOT RIGHT!!

Wrong is wrong and right is right. Who's to determine that? ME!! It would then be up to a judge if either was warranted or not.

I wholeheartedly concur with the bold type above!! Solid post!!

[KARATEKA911]

take the kid back and have him face his fears

[veee]

That's a bad instructor. I would immediately remove my child from the school. I would call the head of the school, let him/her know what happened so at the very minimum they would know and hopefully investigate and take proper action.

If I don't trust the instructor, he/she cannot be my instructor.

[FighterForLife]

take the kid back and have him face his fears

you would have a CHILD face down an ADULT black belt?

[KARATEKA911]

I meant go back to class , not fight anyone

[sensei8]

Habits of said instructor might not make it possible to continue for this student, no matter what one might think and/or hope. It's a sensitive matter, one that shouldn't ever be taken lightly.

Imho.