The Return to Delusion.

[Harkon72]

I've just had a disappointing message that a student has left us to return to his old instructor. He joined us with an orange belt of the same style. Our Sensei asked him to be patient and wait for the time for grading when he would earn his next kyu grade from us. Until then he was allowed to wear his orange belt in class. The worrying thing was that his standard was way below that of our yellow belts, he took his place in the line but it looked a bit awkward. It was obvious that he would have to skip several gradings to come up to standard. He was not happy, his mother thought that for her money he should receive more belts. He has left for the other Dojo, disappointed and with the delusion that money buys grades. I know we should have made him a white belt, but his pride made that impossible. We are sad but we stuck to our principals. Has anyone else experienced this kind of pressure?

[andym]

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Sums it up really.

[mal103]

We've had a few mums and students assume that the gradings are automatic just because they have turned up every week, there are even some that think by skipping lessons and then coming twice a week near a grading and just getting their Kata also qualifies them to grade.

The way we operate is they don't get a form if they aren't ready.

If someone turns up at your club with the assumption of keeping their belt, auto grading or getting annoyed that they can't get their way then maybe you are better off without them?

[Harkon72]

Yes mal, I think you are right; the fact that people expect preferential treatment because they have come to you from another club is sad. At the end of the day, your loyal students need to feel that their grades are a product of hard work, that you are proud of them and they won't be disrupted by those who think they can buy their grades.

[mal103]

We've just had a great family join us, they had to relocate and were given advice from their previous Sensei to find a good club, we had a few emails and offers of free lessons to start followed by a few lessons before joining the club etc.

They were pleased that they could keep their current grades and were not fussed a bit about not grading for a while or until they are back up to speed as they have had a break in training, there may also be some differences in syllabus and tweaks in styles but they are humble and keen!

[Harkon72]

It sounds as if you are lucky to have them. Our little warrior's mother watched our every move, she expected results and a return for her time. We could not disrespect our other students by letting her son grade too early. She lost patience with us even though her son was enjoying our class. It's sad when the parents want their children's belts more than they do.

[mal103]

Another family we are blessed with are slightly different....

Their daughter graded the week after everyone else with a few others who couldn't make the main grading, their parents were watching the other people grade and not their daughter - we both noticed this but couldn't figure it out.

Later on we concluded that they were looking for mistakes in the other students so if their daughter got failed they would be able to point out the other students mistakes....

A sad reflection on some people, I sometimes just want to say "I ain't teaching you anything this week, we are just going to do Karate together and enjoy our way, stop concentrating on the destination!"

[sensei8]

Yes! I've experienced this over the many years.

I tell them..."Sorry, if you're thinking that ranks more important than learing/training/knowledge, then by all means, leave right now. Don't come back until you can honestly say that rank is secondary to training and the like. Now, leave right now!! Hold on...I'll hold the door for you. I don't want a student who thinks ranks more important than anything else. Get out and get out NOW!!"

I've no patience and I've no ambiguity when it comes to students/spouses/parents/friends/relatives who think that RANK IS GUARANTEED! No! That attitude will GUARANTEE them an escort to the nearest exit door!!

[lowereastside]

I don't give any kind of rank - teaching Kung Fu - and I've lost perspective students ranked in other arts because of it. Some just need that Rank.

[Harlan]

So, how was it in keeping with your principles to let him wear an orange belt, when you knew he should have started at white?

You set yourself up for it.

I've just had a disappointing message that a student has left us to return to his old instructor. He joined us with an orange belt of the same style. Our Sensei asked him to be patient and wait for the time for grading when he would earn his next kyu grade from us. Until then he was allowed to wear his orange belt in class. The worrying thing was that his standard was way below that of our yellow belts, he took his place in the line but it looked a bit awkward. It was obvious that he would have to skip several gradings to come up to standard. He was not happy, his mother thought that for her money he should receive more belts. He has left for the other Dojo, disappointed and with the delusion that money buys grades. I know we should have made him a white belt, but his pride made that impossible. We are sad but we stuck to our principals. Has anyone else experienced this kind of pressure?