Past abuse: What to do?

[Soo Min]

Many years ago I was on this forum, asking for advice about leaving an abusive MA studio.

I was young at the time. I'm an adult now. About 7 years have passed since I left.

I was at a particular studio for 9 years. For the last three of those years, a new teacher began working with us. He caused me a lot of grief in a lot of different ways. I won't go into it. It was bad enough that it still affects me to this day.

I've recently got back into contact with a few people from that era of my life. I told them about this one particular teacher. He had a tendency to pick on me especially--especially since I was one of the few females in the class--and I'm not going to say that this "picking on" never had inappropriate over tones. Anyway these adults claimed that had no idea that this was happening, although I'm not convinced...

Anyway, now that I'm older and looking back, I see how much more disturbing, inappropriate, and unacceptable this particular teacher's behavior was. In fact, it was downright traumatizing. I'm in therapy over it, and I've never really been able to get back into martial arts since...

I recently checked, and he is still teaching children. I'm not sure what to do. Should I do anything? Should I let by-gones be by-gones?

[DWx]

First of all, sorry to hear that. I wouldn't wish that on anybody.

There's others on the forum that'll probably be better equipped to tell you what to do but I would say report it. Better to have it investigated than to have it in the back of your mind that he could be doing it to other children.

Is he or the dojo part of a larger organisation? Most of them nowadays have welfare officers or child protection officers who are in charge of investigating this stuff and preventing it from happening. If they are a professional organisation they should take an allegation seriously and look into it.

From your past posts it sounds like a terrible school and terrible environment to train in.

[Zaine]

First of all, sorry to hear that. I wouldn't wish that on anybody.

There's others on the forum that'll probably be better equipped to tell you what to do but I would say report it. Better to have it investigated than to have it in the back of your mind that he could be doing it to other children.

Is he or the dojo part of a larger organisation? Most of them nowadays have welfare officers or child protection officers who are in charge of investigating this stuff and preventing it from happening. If they are a professional organisation they should take an allegation seriously and look into it.

From your past posts it sounds like a terrible school and terrible environment to train in.

I agree whole heartedly, better to report just in case.

[Soo Min]

Thank you both for your replies. I do appreciate it.

I guess I'm not sure who to go to...I'm in the States. The school was a more traditional style WTF Tae Kwon Do school. Seven years ago, my mother went to the owner of the school and was very upset by their discussion because he refused to do anything. Like I said, I'm pretty sure several adults knew that *something* was going on and no one did anything. I'm not sure, however, that they knew the severity of the situation with this one teacher.

I'm confident I'm not his only "victim" either.

So, I don't know who to go to. Of the sub-organization (within WTF) that I remember this school was part of, the owner of the school was the president of the region.

Do I go to the cops? Child Protective Services? Try to reach out to other adults from that situation? Talk to the owner, *again*? Start to threaten a lawsuit for negligence, lol...?

[Zaine]

Usually WTF will look into it if you want to go to them. It's worth a try to talk to the owner and just move up the chain of command. If they find anything they have an obligation to call the authorities. If you want to call the cops though that is also an option.

[Patrick]

Welcome back, Soo Min. You mentioned you are in therapy. It might be a good idea to run this by the doctor, since they'll be fully aware of the situation from your time with them and, also, would likely be equipped to help you decide what the proper course of action is at this stage, since they have probably dealt with similar situations. They could be helpful.

Patrick

[bushido_man96]

You should look into letting the local authorities in on this, and then going to the WTF itself with any complaints. That would be the way to go, I think. Documentation of anything you experienced would go a long way in helping the case, as well.

[sensei8]

Great advice from all...I wholeheartedly agree with them all. Report!! No one should get away with those type of actions, imho.

[ps1]

A sicko is a sicko. It doesn't matter if he's a well established and highly respected college football coach, a high profile jiu-jitsu coach with a big team that wins lots of medals, or a relatively unknown TKD instructor. They shouldn't be on the streets. Tell someone about what happened. Let the justice system sort out the rest.

[bushido_man96]

A sicko is a sicko. It doesn't matter if he's a well established and highly respected college football coach, a high profile jiu-jitsu coach with a big team that wins lots of medals, or a relatively unknown TKD instructor. They shouldn't be on the streets. Tell someone about what happened. Let the justice system sort out the rest.

Absolutely.