Should teachers avoid friendship with students?

[bushido_man96]

Just wanted to hit this up again. Please move back to Instructor Central Forum.

[TreeKicker]

I have always been curios on peoples take, should martial art teachers avoid becoming friends with students since it may compromise the bond of the teacher-student or does it strengthen the relationship?

By friends, I dont mean social function for the sake of the dojo and getting to know the students but rather hanging out on regular basis...would it be considered unprofessional?

I ask because freddy roach has said that aside from dinner function he throws for his students he avoids becoming buddies since it may compromise his roll as a serious instructor.

I don't think it is a good idea. It gives the appearance of favoritism and can easily lead to unprofessional behavior. A lot of the time, people are looking to you as a leader. They have friends already.

[sensei8]

You might be correct; if there's truly no favoritism occurring then there's nothing to worry about. However, perception is a dangerous thing; perception is reality to the one perceiving. Avoid all signs of impropriety because your students deserve that.

[FangPwnsAll7]

I think it is good for an instructor and student to be friends.

[Harlan]

I know one case where a real relationship completely upended a dojo. Best to keep all students on the same level of relationship.

You might be correct; if there's truly no favoritism occurring then there's nothing to worry about. However, perception is a dangerous thing; perception is reality to the one perceiving. Avoid all signs of impropriety because your students deserve that.

[ShotokanMaster]

IN my DOjo everybody is friends with the sensies senpais and kohai and karatekas were like one big happy family What is a Instructor that is not friends with their student that is call big ego just because your an instructor your not friends with your students that is not right

[lowereastside]

It depends - Maybe not in the beginning - but as time goes by. My Kung Fu Teacher is one of my very good friends.

[T3chnopsycho]

A dojo, for me, should be a family.

I cannot agree more.

Me too. That's also how it works in my style. We call ourselves one big family. And you see that. After a Gasshuku we all go together to a restaurant to eat dinner and you sit right next to the sensei or shihan and drink your beer with them. ^^ Also from what I know some of the grown-ups repeatedly go to the pub together after the Friday-evening-training.

I think being a family in a martial arts style is the best thing because everybody respects everybody else. Not because they are just a higher belt but also because you respect the person himself.

Cheers

T3chnopsycho

[Gomez77]

I remember the day I went to enroll at my school,, and one of the first things my sensei said to me was "I don't do this to make friends" it has kinda stuck with me through the years especially when he tries to make small talk, I just don't know how to respond or react, I mean I say to myself does he really care what's going on or just saying this because he feels like he muat

[Harkon72]

Our Sensei calls us all "Brothers and Sisters" but has an equal relationship with all his students. He's my friend but on a professional and respectful level.