Should teachers avoid friendship with students?

[Himokiri Karate]

I have always been curios on peoples take, should martial art teachers avoid becoming friends with students since it may compromise the bond of the teacher-student or does it strengthen the relationship?

By friends, I dont mean social function for the sake of the dojo and getting to know the students but rather hanging out on regular basis...would it be considered unprofessional?

I ask because freddy roach has said that aside from dinner function he throws for his students he avoids becoming buddies since it may compromise his roll as a serious instructor.

[Zaine]

I think that all teachers should strive to be friends with their students. I believe that it not only strengthens the bond between student and teacher but creates loyalty within them as well.

[DoctorQui]

The best Dojo I was a member of, the Chief Instructor and all the other instructors were on friendly terms with each other and students, often socialised and it was very informal.

The result of that was unquestionable respect for the decision of the Instructor. If someone you are on social terms with tells you that you aren't ready to grade or doesn't pass you, then imo, you are more willing to accept it. Professionalism is two way, if you socialise with them and they do not pass you or put you up for grading and you react negatively because YOU think they should...who is being unprofessional?

You either take training seriously and respect your Sensei OR you go to a belt factory/McDojo and pass simply for turning up and paying!!

[ShoriKid]

You can be friends with your students and not compromise your ability to teach. A dojo, for me, should be a family. Every family has a hierarchy and every member knows how it works.

[Zaine]

A dojo, for me, should be a family.

I cannot agree more.

[Evil Dave]

I like the dojo to be part of my extended family. Although while in the dojo or even discussing dojo matters, the head instructor and any senior instructors must have a professional manner about them. Professionalism and respect go hand-in-hand.

[Dobbersky]

I agree with what's been said already.

I have an excellent relationship with my students, very similar to a "big brother"

Remember respect is earnt NOT expected. I give respect and I get it back. We chat, meet up, go to social events. Go on seminars together.

We are like a big family and we all have our places and duties within this extended family

good thread

[Lupin1]

You have to remember, too, that we're talking about adults pursuing this usually as a hobby in their free time. People do free time activities to make friends and enjoy themselves in addition to the physical and mental benefits of hard training. While a paying customer should expect an instructor to always be professional, I see no reason why they can't be friends with their adult students and training companions.

Some of the mentors I've had in my life that I have the most respect for I also consider my friends. Granted, I also have a lot of respect for bosses and teachers I've had who aren't friends, but the ones I've shared friendship with have only gained more of my respect.

[Wastelander]

My instructor is my friend, but he has "modes" that make it fairly obvious what role he is taking--sometimes he is a teacher, sometimes he is a big brother figure, and sometimes he is a friend. It depends on the situation and what he has to do, and I feel that it works out quite well.

[blacknebula]

I socialize with my Sensei and some of the other instructors outside of the dojo and consider them to be my friends. However, I am very conscious of how I behave in various situations - that is, when I am in the dojo I am a student and act accordingly!

When I studied social pyschology I learned that the reasons that people join a group are often different from the reasons that they stay in a group, and affiliation is a huge factor in group retention. Having strong personal bonds between group members, including between the instructor and students, can mean the difference between someone quitting when they hit a rough patch, or not.

Of course, this applies mostly to adults. Children usually don't have the cognitive skills to recognize the demands of different roles in regard to the same person and modify their behaviour accordingly.