Good or Bad reason for confrontation?

[Saie]

So I need advice, specifically from mature martial artists who's values I hold highly. That being said, mainly from teachers and high ranking students who can truly understand the philosophy and values of being a martial artist, and respect them.

My problem is this; I've been dating this girl for two years now, and recently this boy has been bugging her. A couple inches taller than me, and somewhat more built. I've asked her obviously to take care of it, and she did for the most part, screaming at him "NO" as he attempted to hug her in class. In front of everyone, he sat down saying "fine then" and was pretty upset, walking angrily past her after class.

Now he's known to hit girls, this is a high school matter. Regardless, if he should make any sort of insult/aggression towards her, shall I confront him? Or what would be the best course of action for her or myself?

I'm really ready to go off on this guy. I no longer attend the same school, and he knows me and the fact my twin and I are known as the talented local martial artists around. It's sort of our reputation, but this doesn't bother him the slightest, seeing as he has size and strength to his advantage, but no martial arts training.

"So just because he's bigger doesn't mean crap, just saying.. However, no do not confront him unless he actually hits her or you because if he hasn't necessarily done anything to harm anyone then let her continue telling him no. When and if he hits her yea that's a problem, until then it's not in your hands&& as a martial artist you need to stick to that" - Brandi Montoya, fourth in the nation of female youth boxers, personal friend of mine.

[JusticeZero]

If he confronts her while you are present then you should definitely warn him to leave. Don't push it any more into escalado though. Just communicate that not only does she not want him around, but that you are backing her up on it. If he tries to turn it into a fight, drop the police on his head and walk away with your ladyfriend. Take your cues from the missus, but talk it over with her beforehand. If he tries to infer that this makes you any less of a man just remember - you've got an awesome girlfriend that you've been spending time with for two years, and he? can't even get a hug without committing assault.

[Saie]

If he confronts her while you are present then you should definitely warn him to leave. Don't push it any more into escalado though. Just communicate that not only does she not want him around, but that you are backing her up on it. If he tries to turn it into a fight, drop the police on his head and walk away with your ladyfriend. Take your cues from the missus, but talk it over with her beforehand. If he tries to infer that this makes you any less of a man just remember - you've got an awesome girlfriend that you've been spending time with for two years, and he? can't even get a hug without committing assault.

Absolutely love this. Lol, really boosted my confidence in keeping my hands clean. Thank you.

[pittbullJudoka]

You are a more talented martial artist if you can defuse the situation with words and not your fists. But be ready for anything to happen you never know what others intentions are. Good luck with it.

[darksoul]

You are a more talented martial artist if you can defuse the situation with words and not your fists. But be ready for anything to happen you never know what others intentions are. Good luck with it.

This.

When it comes to me, the above is more of a do as I say, not as I do thing, because my wife is beyond precious to me.

This is my one hypocritical point. I avoid fighting every way I can, except if you bring my wife in it. The second you cross that line, you get one verbal warning to shut up and walk away. The slightest retort to me, or my wife, will land you in a world of hurt.

[Reaper6]

First, your wife, girlfriend, or family are an extension of yourself and should be readily defended. However, "fighting" in general is a choice, while self defense is something you have to do when all positive options are exhausted. This situation seems to fall into a social violence situation, likely akin to male status seeking behavior. If there are ways to avoid conflict without the use of violence, use them, bruised ego or not. If the subject leaves you no choice, act, and act decisively.

[Saie]

Thank you, everyone. This really inspired me to take the higher path, spoke with my girlfriend, she's already handled it verbally, and he's off her case.

I also spoke with him, and in a calm collected manner, just the two of us. He shook my hand and apologized.

But I still don't like this fool

[evergrey]

OSU, good on you! That's the way to do it. You don't have to like him, but you took the high road and did the right thing!

Remember:

The first great accomplishment is to achieve the power to destroy.

The second, much greater accomplishment is to possess that power, and to have the will to choose not to use it.

[SamsIAmz]

I'm glad to hear it de-escalated without a physical confrontation.

The true goal of the martial arts is not to have the strength to fight someone. It's to have the strength to deal with situations in the most harmonious manner possible, while still standing strongly for what you believe in.

I think you handled it well. Don't let your anger get the best of you. It will always leave you worse off in the end.

[Harkon72]

Being a Martial Artist is a responsibility, being calm and collected is your gift to an aggressor.