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Instructor Who Lives An Alternate Lifestyle


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Does their "lifestyle" change their danger profile and expose them to more violence or different violence? For instance, if an instructor were an outed homosexual or muslim in an intolerant community, they likely have to worry about security and violence being directed at them much more often than most - and that might be a good reason to listen to them when it comes to learning about how to protect oneself against random violence.

"Anything worth doing is worth doing badly." - Baleia

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Many people around the world can be quite closed minded about many, many things, and no matter how one might or might not define "alternate lifestyle", the close mindset still exists.

No one has the right to say who can teach the MA and who can't in the regards of ones alternate lifestyle, nonetheless, it is done by indirect ways, such as, not allowing ones child/children to continue in the dojo/dojan/school.

Bigotry or not, the deciding actions by a parent, student, and/or administrator is final no matter what others may or may not think.

This or that can't/shouldn't be allowed/happen, but in this wide world we all live in...it certainly does each and everyday no matter how much we hate it.

The Godan I speak about in my OP is a student of Dai-Soke Yoshinobu Takahasi of the Shindokan Hombu!!

:)

**Proof is on the floor!!!

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Many people around the world can be quite closed minded about many, many things, and no matter how one might or might not define "alternate lifestyle", the close mindset still exists.

No one has the right to say who can teach the MA and who can't in the regards of ones alternate lifestyle, nonetheless, it is done by indirect ways, such as, not allowing ones child/children to continue in the dojo/dojan/school.

Bigotry or not, the deciding actions by a parent, student, and/or administrator is final no matter what others may or may not think.

This or that can't/shouldn't be allowed/happen, but in this wide world we all live in...it certainly does each and everyday no matter how much we hate it.

The Godan I speak about in my OP is a student of Dai-Soke Yoshinobu Takahasi of the Shindokan Hombu!!

:)

With respect, the parents and students shouldn't even have to know whether the person teaching is leading a more conventional life or an alternative lifestyle. It shouldn't even come up as an issue. Bob, you're always saying "the proof is on the floor" and in this case it should be. The personal life of those teaching shouldn't cause an issue because all that matters is how they teach and can they do a good job of it. I would be concerned if they kept bringing up their alternative lifestyle in class, but equally I'd be concerned if another teacher kept going on about their lifestyle too instead of teaching me like I'm paying them to.

It is sad that many people are still closed minded about things and whether we agree with what somebody does or not, IMO it shouldn't mean that we shun them and their teaching. We're the ones who are going to miss out in the end if we can't get past these "issues" and just train.

"Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it." ~ Confucius

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Many people around the world can be quite closed minded about many, many things, and no matter how one might or might not define "alternate lifestyle", the close mindset still exists.

I don't think the closed mindset will every really go away. There are some people who are very set in their ways, and are not likely to change. Now, that doesn't mean that these people necessarily advocate for violence against said lifestyles, but I don't think it means they have to tolerate them entirely, either.

No one has the right to say who can teach the MA and who can't in the regards of ones alternate lifestyle, nonetheless, it is done by indirect ways, such as, not allowing ones child/children to continue in the dojo/dojan/school.

But the customer does have the right to choose who they learn their MAs from. So, if an instructor is going to open about an alternate lifestyle, then they should be prepared to gain or lose students accordingly.

Bigotry or not, the deciding actions by a parent, student, and/or administrator is final no matter what others may or may not think.

This or that can't/shouldn't be allowed/happen, but in this wide world we all live in...it certainly does each and everyday no matter how much we hate it.

Again, the belief systems of those involved are likely to influence choices when it comes to matters like these. In these instances, I don't think its fair to blame those for making choices against as being "close-minded" or otherwise. I don't think it is close-minded to stand strong in one's beliefs.

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As,

1) Parent... I would not worry about lifestyle except for the one on the storefront, and in the dojo. I want to know whether the instructor is professional, whether he or she was knowledgeable, and I would want to know that they conducted themselves with decorum

2) Student. I would want to learn the art for the reasons established. I would want ot be fit, confident, and knowledgeable in my art. I would not care if you were married, single, or in any of many alternative lifestyles. I would want to know that you could teach what I could learn.

3) Administrator. Of what, I have to ask? If it were a school or a department where alternative lifestyles were restricted, I would remind THEM that it was illegal to discriminate against it. I would want a teacher with knowledge to pass, and the ability to teach. If I were your Grandmaster and you were my sub teacher, or subordinate, then what would matter is what happens on the mat, not in the bedroom.

In short, as long as the lifestyle itself is not interfering with the teaching, then I would not worry about the choices the person makes outside the dojo... unless they violated law, or morality (stealing even if you get away with it, lying and being corrupt)... I want the teacher to teach, regardless of their personal, legal, and (even in their eyes) ethical choices. I am not alternative; however, I have many friends that are, and it is like anything else... knowledge of the subject is power!

It is what you learn when you think you know everything that matters most! (unknown)

" I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself". (DH Lawrence)

"The only stupid question is the one that was never asked!!" (Me!!!)

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Many people around the world can be quite closed minded about many, many things, and no matter how one might or might not define "alternate lifestyle", the close mindset still exists.

No one has the right to say who can teach the MA and who can't in the regards of ones alternate lifestyle, nonetheless, it is done by indirect ways, such as, not allowing ones child/children to continue in the dojo/dojan/school.

Bigotry or not, the deciding actions by a parent, student, and/or administrator is final no matter what others may or may not think.

This or that can't/shouldn't be allowed/happen, but in this wide world we all live in...it certainly does each and everyday no matter how much we hate it.

The Godan I speak about in my OP is a student of Dai-Soke Yoshinobu Takahasi of the Shindokan Hombu!!

:)

With respect, the parents and students shouldn't even have to know whether the person teaching is leading a more conventional life or an alternative lifestyle. It shouldn't even come up as an issue. Bob, you're always saying "the proof is on the floor" and in this case it should be. The personal life of those teaching shouldn't cause an issue because all that matters is how they teach and can they do a good job of it. I would be concerned if they kept bringing up their alternative lifestyle in class, but equally I'd be concerned if another teacher kept going on about their lifestyle too instead of teaching me like I'm paying them to.

It is sad that many people are still closed minded about things and whether we agree with what somebody does or not, IMO it shouldn't mean that we shun them and their teaching. We're the ones who are going to miss out in the end if we can't get past these "issues" and just train.

DWx, your quote, and your reply pretty much nails it! It is not in the teachers choices off the mat, it is in their presence on it!

It is what you learn when you think you know everything that matters most! (unknown)

" I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself". (DH Lawrence)

"The only stupid question is the one that was never asked!!" (Me!!!)

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After reading through this thread I'd like to point out that if a teacher is running a professional school with no agenda to push that's really all about the martial arts then you will probably never even know too much about his/her personal life.

I started going to a new school a couple of months ago and until earlier this past week I didn't even know my head instructor was married never mind if he was straight or gay. I also over heard him talking to his wife and found out that they are devout Christians.

My point is, I only found that out because I was waiting to ask him something at his office door and happened to overhear. That type of information has never once come up in class, and I don't see any reason that it should. We aren't there to discuss our personal lives we are there to train.

Please don't get me wrong, I have dojo friends and am even pretty tight with the other teachers, but most of our discussions are casual and revolve around martial arts, sporting events and other less personal matters. By the time I find out if any of them are living an alternate lifestyle I'll probably have already been there for 6 months to a year.

"The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering."

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  • 3 weeks later...

My response to an instructor living an alternative lifestyle really comes down the the answers of two questions. Do I believe that there is a safety concern and does it negatively impact my training experience?

If there is a safety concern, such as teaching class while under the influence, I'm not going to tolerate it. I don't want myself or someone else hurt because of someone else's poor decision making which may or may not include lifestyle choices.

Similarly, I'm going to have issues if said lifestyle decisions have a DIRECT negative impact on my MA experience. If sensei chooses to be a nudist on his own time, that's his right. If he chooses to teach in the buff and expects his students to as well, then I would like to know that information before I sign the one year contract.

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