Fighting..tense...arg, please help

[BladeLee]

Ok, im getting very frusturated about this subject, so i figured i would ask you guys here for help =\. I'm VERY into maritial arts, and I plan to make fighting and the MA my future. Anyhow, when we used to spar, i was always VERY good(TKD point sparring here, even though i dont really like point sparring lol), my side kicks always stuck, my reverse punches landed, my focus was great..u name it. But recently, even though i have improved in some areas, it seems like overall im not doing as well. ESPECIALLY againts 1 student, the only one that may be better then me actually. Anyhow, now I get nervous, tense, and even intimidated by the thought of losing when i fight him. My actions/reactions are slowed, everything is horrible. Needless to say he beats me almost every time now. I believe this is all mental, i KNOW i am just there to learn, not win, and i KNOW i shouldnt worry about getting tense and i just need to relax. I should keep my mind empty so that my freedom in action is not obstructed like it is. BUT, i just can't do it. NO matter how much i tell my self "JUST DO IT" , i just lack attitude. THat i suppose is another main problem i have...i simply lack attitude =(, anyhow, thanks for reading this, and any help would be great! i just can't stand this anymore....if everything else in my life was going horrible(which is pretty much is right now).. i can live aslong as tkd/fighting is going good...but when that starts to go downhill...i just can't take it.

[Kensai]

This is the true battle, the one of the mind. I have found that I dont really presieve my oppenent, look through them. Think that they are just an obstical, just another thing in the way. If they win, then they have done you a favour, in showing your weakness's.

 

I know the feeling that ever time you move out to do something you are met with a barriage of attacks that you can do NOTHING about!

 

Unfortunately the only advice I can give you, is "just do it!" like you said. This is the one battle you HAVE to fight on your own.

 

All the Best.

[shotochem]

Try not to worry about winning. It is only sparring. Work on your technique. Work on one thing at a time lose 1000 times but learn and improve in the process. The place to lose and improve is the dojo. It will keep you alive on the street should the situation arrive. Know what you are good at and remember sparring is not the same as the real thing.

[Bretty101]

Bladelee,

 

I think io know exactly how you feel. I've got several excellent techniques in my armoury which beat everyone. However once someone knows all your tricks and knows when to expect them they will beat you. I'm exactly the same, people in the club are always watching you, sparring you and trying to work you out and eventually they start to catch you. You go to a tournament however against people who don't know you and you rip them apart.

 

What i suggest is that you try and continually evolve and improve your style. ie for me it's very easy to rely on my big guns, i'm a big guy and have really strong axekicks, backfists and reverse punchs that beat most people. Instead of always using them i try and improve new techniques. ie improve your 'weak' side. so just when someones working you out flick stance to the other side.OR instead of fighting moving forwards all the time move backwards, or to the side or vise-versa. double things up and mix it up. Try new tricks so just when someone thinks they know whats coming give em something else.

 

It's easy to use your best techniques all the time but people will learn them. (if thats any help at all)

 

Bretty

[metalhead]

This has happened to me before and at least in my case the problem was everything else in my life. I learned that if anything is going poorly and I dwell on it I would loose focus on the other things/activities. At least in my case, it all became a matter of focus. I realized that there will always be some amount of stress in my life, be it work or family related, and that the key was to focus on the task at hand get through it and move on. I found that MA could be my momentary escape from reality if I could step away from the day to day and focus on the task at hand whether it was forms, sparring or whatever. This became clear to me when I finally achieved a long time goal at work which had been dogging me for weeks. That very evening, in my regular class I nailed a form that I had been having trouble with, it just seemed to flow and I realized that I was allowing my work related frustration to affect other areas of my life.

 

I know this is alot easier said than done and it may not be the same for you, but maybe it will help.

 

Good Luck

[monkeygirl]

I know EXACTLY what you're talking about...for me this is especially stressful because I'm testing for my BlackBelt in 23 days!!

 

I agree with Bretty101...people from your school eventually learn your tricks.

 

I'll tell you what my instructor told me: it's easy to be a great fighter at green belt...but when you get up to brown belt it becomes a lot more difficult to land techniques (this happened to me). Why? Because everyone ELSE's guards are getting better! This doesn't mean they're better fighters than you, it just means they're getting more defensive. Feel proud that they felt the need

 

If they're still scoring points on you, you need to focus on YOUR defense for awhile, then sit back and wait for them to open themselves up. Maybe even throw a few techniques to see how they react. If you throw a punch high that misses by a mile, do they lift their guard anyway, opening themselves up for that sidekick?

 

Just because they're getting better now, don't get discouraged. Different fighters blossom at different times. You blossomed early, and they're just developing now.

 

I think the discouragement from not getting points on "easy" fighters is giving you problems with this one "not-so-easy" fighter.

 

I was a very successful fighter in my days as a beginner/intermediate belt, against people of my own school and rank (I'm still OK against ppl I've never met before). Now however, they've caught up to me and are giving me a run for my money!!! I'm happy for them, but at the same time freaking out 'cause I need to improve. That just makes me more tense!

 

Try fighting people from different schools...tournaments, etc. We have something called "Dog Days" where a bunch of schools come together and fight on a Saturday. Pop in a CD and fight for a whole song. What a workout!

 

Just accept who you are and the way things worked out...all you can do is improve, and nobody expects any more than that.

[BladeLee]

thanks for all the input, i think most of you kinda understand my situation. The thing is though, its not that the person that is tensing me up is just now "blossoming" or anything like that. He is just as good now, as he was 2 years ago. It's just 1 bad day, lead into a bad week. And now that is leading into a bad month...and its killing me =\. I believe i need mental clarity, but i just can't obtain it. I don't know how anymore. I try to relax and stay focused and clear my mind...i try not to just know this, but to apply it. But that doesnt always work, and i have been trying some new things, and some new techniques b/c i do agree with that thing about people learning how i fight and what techniques i like to throw and everything. So it is good to change things up once in a while. Well, we don't have class on monday b/c of labors day..so ill get back to you guys after the next time i spar him and tell you how it goes. Any more suggestions are still appreciated thanks.

[Martial_Artist]

I'm going to try and help. I come from the school of hard knocks and my advice isn't going be easily digested, but from what I have read, could help you improve.

 

First, I doubt that this person has not changed in skill in the last 2 years of training. Bad day -> bad week, maybe, but bad week --> bad month? 30 days is quite a long time.

 

Here's what you need to do:

 

1. Stop whining. Grit your teeth and work through the trenches.

 

2. Train harder. Your opponent is beating you because is gaining ground on you and becoming better than you. If you want to prevent that then TRAIN HARDER. Push yourself. Work those techniques to razor perfection.

 

3. Stop worrying about your opponent beating you. If you win, you win. If you lose, be thankful it's just a dojo fight and not a street fight.

 

4. Be a man and fight.

 

There is nothing quite as disheartening as a martial artist crying. You may not be crying, and I may sound cold-harded, but this is the martial arts. We are not in a world of pottery or painting.

 

It's more than ust mental. If this person is consistently beating you, matching your moves, then you've lost the razor edge on your training and need to trian harder. To get your skills back you need to train more.

 

Everyone else's advice has been excellent. If you have been in the same school with the same person for 2 years, then he must know your particular taste in fighting. If he knows that then he is taking advatage of the opportunity. I don't believe he hasn't changed in two years. If he's gained a rank, then he has changed. If he has been doing the same techniques over and over for two years, then he's changed.

 

Relax. And train harder.

[Radok]

I stay completely relaxed because of my confidence. Try to have your mind on having fun and you prob. won't get so nevous. I just think "I'll be kicking (you know) and taking names. Maybe sparring more would help with confidence?

[Ti-Kwon-Leap]

BladeLee,

 

1. Show up early and meditate/clear your mind for 20 minutes before class. Relaxation is the key to thinking clearly.

 

2. let go of your obsession with this person; you are letting your ego get the best of you.

 

3. Use your sparring time to analyze your weaknesses, don't be blinded by thoughts of revenge.

 

4. Let your opponent make his move and wait till he has exhausted his barrage of attacks, then get in a few choice shots and then go back to the task of making him miss the next techniques and so on. Work on capitalizing on the ebb and flow that every fight has. If you are uptight and obsessed you won't sense this subtle equilibrium, and eventually you will tire yourself out as well.

 

5. Develop personal power. The only way to achieve this is to rid yourself of your fear of losing. The next time you lose to an opponent is the best time to face that knot in your stomach and just let it go. (sounds simple, doesn't it?)