Sparring is scary! A Public Service Anouncement

[MasterPain]

So, you've signed up for a martial arts class, showed up, worked the drills the class is doing, done reps of technique, maybe adding resistance as you started to get it. Everyone has been cool to you, helped you to learn, and generally treated you like a new friend. Then it comes time to spar.

The guy you're lined up with, you suddenly realize, is big, strong, moves gracefully, has ears that look like some sort of vegetable, and his belt is darker than yours by several shades. He's a nice enough person and all, but the current circumstances involve him trying to hit you, which he proceeds to do. Not hard enough to hurt exactly, but enough to be scary. You can tell he's being easy on you, but you're still feeling overwhelmed. You want to ask the guy to go even lighter, but are afraid to look weak.

Don't be.

It is ALWAYS okay to ask for lighter contact from the senior students. If it's a good school, they will be understanding about it. Martial arts are not just there for the naturally confident to show how tough they are (those people are a story for another time). Martial arts make those of us who are naturally timid more confident. This occurs in small steps. Do not try to spar at a level you are not ready for. It is okay to be a little out of you're comfort zone, that is where you grow. But if at any time you are actually scared, say so. Getting hit harder than you can take? Speak up. Do not be afraid of looking weak. We are all weak, in our own manner, humans are fragile things. The more experienced students and the instructors were beginners once, and there is a good chance that many of them were once quite afraid of being hit,, after all many join the martial arts to gain confidence.

If you're afraid that asking for less intensity will make you seem cowardly, I ask you to consider the following. Sparring someone who is too overwhelming causes you to backpedal. Doing this long enough ingrains it as a habit. So by trying to seem tough, you have ingrained a habit of fear, and made it hard to learn anything. By asking for less intensity, you create a chance for yourself to show a little aggression, you develop a more forward attitude. You have a chance to work technique instead of just trying to avoid being hit, you gradually will learn to take harder hits. Pretty soon, you'll be a decent martial artist who can take a beating and keep on going. Someday, you'll have a new guy running from you like you're Jason Vorhees- send him to this thread.

[Groinstrike]

Great post, we were discussing this topic last night instead of working out .

I get into the habit of constantly pushing forward on someone who is backing up, trying to herd them into a corner. Thinking that constant beating will help them change their habits. This may be true but it is also important to let the person learn how to fight moving forward.

Sometimes its hard for me to remember that under 5 years ago i was on my bicycle getting punched and kneed in the head. Eventually people get tired of taking punishment and either start to work on their bad habits, or they become discouraged and quit. In order to foster an environment were you can build clientele(sp?) and maintain a acceptable number of students for training, one must learn to change students bad habits before they become ingrained.

[sensei8]

Great post MP!!

[bushido_man96]

Excellent advise. It is ok to ask for some lightening up in sparring. Hopefully, the higher ranks can usually see this, and can adjust it themselves, but at times, it may not seem as bad as it is to them. We are always taught that if we want something, to ask. Sparring shouldn't be any different.

Years ago, I had a TKD instructor who liked to just overwhelm people when he sparred, no matter the rank. If you were a younger, lower rank, he'd do it with speed. As you got higher in rank, he did it with speed and contact levels. Honestly, it sucked. If you slipped a point in somewhere, it was game over after that. Not a constructive learning environment, especially when your a short, chubby kid with esteem problems anyway.

[Patrick]

Thank you for posting this, MasterPain.

Patrick

[sperki]

Great post. In my limited experience, you've essentially summed up why I prefer sparring against an advanced martial artist. New people are out of control, and often, less predictable than senior students. Senior students tend to know how long their arms and legs are, and can (usually) dial their aggressiveness and tempo to match that of their sparring partner. It's not like my sensei needs to beat the snot out of me for me to know he can beat the snot out of me. When I started, he would stand there calmly and block everything I threw at him while occasionally giving me a swipe to make me block. It probably made me more confident in his ability both as a fighter and an instructor.

[MasterPain]

It's not like my sensei needs to beat the snot out of me for me to know he can beat the snot out of me.

Congrats on being smarter than a large portion of the population.

[sperki]

Really!? Isn't that sort of an assumed thing when you start with a martial art? I mean I expect the person that is teaching me to fight to be better at fighting than me....right? Maybe I'm just an optimist and more people are dumber than I expect.

[MasterPain]

Really!? Isn't that sort of an assumed thing when you start with a martial art? I mean I expect the person that is teaching me to fight to be better at fighting than me....right? Maybe I'm just an optimist and more people are dumber than I expect.

Stick with it a while, you'll see it.

[JonWal]

I've watched a few of the higher belts sparring in preperation for passing my first grading end of November.

Its not so much the power which scares me, its the quickness of movement and thought, although I dont doubt for a second theyve all got another few levels when it comes to the power aspect of sparring.