When in Rome...

[MasterPain]

That's the Do of Jutsu.

[sojobo]

That's the Do of Jutsu.

The Japanese have a term for it... Renshu

sojobo

[ps1]

OSU, I think we hit each other too hard to worry too much about ego in my dojo, lol! That's not to say it doesn't happen... but it's discouraged. :}

This is a very good point; and one that is almost always true of anyone who trains in a way as "alive" as kyokushin. That is, when you must always prove your skill, every day, there isn't room for ego or false beliefs about your skill. It forces you to see the truth. Those who can't, don't last.

[bushido_man96]

When this nidan watched the videos and heard me, she got very offended because I am a 7th Kyu in Kyokushin, and she is a Nidan in Shotokan, and in her dojo someone below her rank would never speak out of turn. I was told that since I hadn't proven myself sparring her, I was coming off as ignorant and disrespectful. I was told I would have to prove myself, and that because of my insolence I would be taught a lesson, essentially. I was also told that I came off as trying to intimidate her!

She spoke to you in this way, and she is your friend? Kind of crazy. Rank is one thing, but I would never use it to remind someone if they are "speaking out of turn" or something like that. It sounds to me like she's had a bit of an ego-bruising. I'd say she's the one who is out of line. Just because someone is lower rank, doesn't mean they can't see where someone can improve. I've had lower ranks watch my forms and such before, and asked for suggestions on anything they've seen. Not a bad way to learn, in my eyes.

She also didn't speak to me about it directly, but had her friend lay it all out to me instead, with her there nodding along. She did not bring the issue up with my instructor either.

A few words come to mind here, but I'll be polite and keep those to myself. I'll just say I think it sounds weird that she had to have someone else discuss this with you, while she stood behind nodding about it.

As far as how you feel should you have to spar her, just play it by ear. If she brings it, then give it back to her as good as she brings.

Its too bad she couldn't just enjoy the idea of an open dojo, where things like rank, school affiliation, and the like, are laid aside so all who participate can learn and share. Sounds like she really missed out.

[evergrey]

OSU, yeah. I mean, she seemed to be having a great time at the event itself! That's the weird thing. Perhaps when she saw the videos, she was embarrassed?

She's coming back again this weekend, hah. There, Sensei will chat with her just to make things clear.

A friend of mine advised me to say something like this, should she challenge me openly there:

"Really? Are you sure you want to really seriously fight? Fighting is boring and messy. You want to challenge me, not have a friendly spar? Because I am warning you right now, I am crazy and I will hurt you badly. You have 10 seconds to decide."

LOL. Actually, she would probably back down from that, which would be ideal. It's a really stupid thing to challenge the paperboy over.

OSU!

[ps1]

OSU, yeah. I mean, she seemed to be having a great time at the event itself! That's the weird thing. Perhaps when she saw the videos, she was embarrassed?

She's coming back again this weekend, hah. There, Sensei will chat with her just to make things clear.

A friend of mine advised me to say something like this, should she challenge me openly there:

"Really? Are you sure you want to really seriously fight? Fighting is boring and messy. You want to challenge me, not have a friendly spar? Because I am warning you right now, I am crazy and I will hurt you badly. You have 10 seconds to decide."

LOL. Actually, she would probably back down from that, which would be ideal. It's a really stupid thing to challenge the paperboy over.

OSU!

In all honesty, it would not surprise me if you could beat her...especially if you actually use knockdown rules. Kyokushin is, IMO, the best form of karate left. This is due, primarily, to it's high level of aliveness.

[Shizentai]

OSU, I think we hit each other too hard to worry too much about ego in my dojo, lol! That's not to say it doesn't happen... but it's discouraged. :}

This is a very good point; and one that is almost always true of anyone who trains in a way as "alive" as kyokushin. That is, when you must always prove your skill, every day, there isn't room for ego or false beliefs about your skill. It forces you to see the truth. Those who can't, don't last.

Oh boy do I know what you mean right now! I misjudged the timing of my senpai's attack last night and got punched in the face with everyone watching only us at the time. =_= mmmmm, modesty is a dish often served with a side of black eye.

[evergrey]

OSU! Yes, I might be able to beat her. I have aggression and I am conditioned to a level of contact that she is not. But I think it would probably be better that I not.

I mentioned it to my head instructor tonight. Haha, I recognized the look on his face...

[WolverineGuy]

I guess, playing devil's advocate, it may have been a little embarrassing coming into a new dojo as a nidan where nobody knows you, and having an underbelt correct you. I don't think it was handled well, mind you, but I can see where it could be embarrassing. We can say "egos are checked at the door" all we want, but until the comfort zone is there, its still human nature.

[ps1]

OSU! Yes, I might be able to beat her. I have aggression and I am conditioned to a level of contact that she is not. But I think it would probably be better that I not.

I mentioned it to my head instructor tonight. Haha, I recognized the look on his face...

Don't get me wrong. I wouldn't go out of my way to pick a fight either. But if she were to challenge you, it's disrespectful to you, her, and your school not to do your best. The only way to lose the ego is to get your butt kicked. Her reaction to losing (or winning) would also prove whether she's a legitimate friend, worthy of your concern. Never worry about feelings of a person who has already insulted you. Especially if they're supposed to be your friend. Friends challenge each other and inspire personal growth. To do otherwise would, in my opinion, be disrespectful.

On the mat, the truth will out!