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Hugging in the dojo


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Look, do what you want. The original question was what each person thinks on the issue, and that is how we train. Bow, don't bow. Hug, don't hug.

I will suggest this: when it comes to hugging and misunderstandings and lawsuits and predators...perhaps it might be prudent to keep things professional.

I understand that a "hug" in certain situations could be deemed inappropriate. That is where common sense needs to kick in.(something that is in short supply in the world btw)

Also, when i say hug, i am not talking about a full embrace, im talking about a shoulder bump and a pat on the back, that to me is a hug. I find this perfectly acceptable among training partners as a show of respect for a job well done. We do not teach people that are under the age of 18, and rarely do we participate in what most people would consider a "traditional class". When someone reached a certain rank in our system, they are considered part of our clan, we treat that person as if they were a member of our own family.

You say that because hugging as no purpose in training, then it does not belong on the mat. In my humble opinion, training martial arts is not just about learning how to defend onesself or to learn how to fight. Training martial arts has allowed me to build relationships with people who i would have never met otherwise. If one goes through their martial arts journey without building at least some important intrapersonal relationships, i think they have missed the point.

Agree to disagree. :)

Agree to a point. Hugging is kept to a basic "process" we're not talking about full on hugging as this would raise a few alarm bells. Its like hugging your "mates" you friends or your "team mates" as seen in many other sports. We're not talking about "kissing" like they do in "football" (soccer - for you guys across the pond) I think if someone has issues with hugging then either they have some personal mental scars or its just something they never got as a child.

To me I see nothing inappropriate in hugging as that is all it is "A Hug"

"Challenge is a Dragon with a Gift in its mouth....Tame the Dragon and the Gift is Yours....." Noela Evans (author)

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I grew up in a culture where we greet eachother by kissing. My dojo mates should feel lucky that a hug is all they get. :brow:

Since I know I am comfortable about those sorts of things I generally let the other person initiate any hugging though.

"My work itself is my best signature."

-Kawai Kanjiro

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  • 1 month later...

Hugs are great. My senseis used to be more huggy people but have toned down a lot for the dojo. So did I. Last time I got a hug was in december when i gave both my senseis christmas cards. x

Some people regard discipline as a chore. For me it is a kind of order that sets me free to fly.


You don't have to blow out someone else's candle in order to let your own flame shine.

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The last organization I trained in, the instructor over Utah required head instructors of studios to hug their students. I didn't grow up with a lot of hugging, and it has always made me uncomfortable. I will say that I learned how to take a hug because of this expectation. However I still haven't learned to be comfortable giving hugs.

Personally in my teaching I prefer to do pats on the back and things of that nature. Less intimate.

Your present circumstances don't determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start. - Nido Qubein

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There are certainly levels of this that change depending on the event that preceded it. i.e. the heavier/more physical the round the higher up the list. Also depends on how comfortable the people are with each other.

-Standard bow

-Standard bow, fistbump/handshake

-Standard bow, handshake, pat on back

-Standard bow, handshake, pull in for pat on back

-Standard bow, handshake, pull in, arm around for pat on back.

I don't think anyone here in favour of hugs is really thinking in terms of a full sustained embrace.

I use them all. The biggest ones are usually reserved for the ends of gradings where you've been beating on each other for round after round. To, me it's just a natural progression of a bow to show a higher amount of respect.

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Yeah the "we're all fighters here" hug isn't the same as a long hug... though I hug some of the other women in the dojo with a long hug.

http://kyokushinchick.blogspot.com/

"If you can fatally judo-chop a bull, you can sit however you want." -MasterPain, on why Mas Oyama had Kyokushin karateka sit in seiza with their clenched fists on their thighs.

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I'm ok with the handshake-pull in hug. The kind of hugging that was done in my last organization regularly is the "friend" hug. One arm low, one arm high, no hand shaking. Or occasionally the side hug, where you stand next to them and put your arm around them and squeeze their shoulder (which I'm also ok with).

Your present circumstances don't determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start. - Nido Qubein

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