What is important in a Woman's Self Defense siminar?

[sensei8]

A "victim mindset" is a real living thing, and it must be recognized as well as respected across the board. Deniability is one of the ingredients in becoming a victim.

There's truth in this saying..."It takes a thief to catch a thief!!"

[Montana]

A friend of mine, Jerry Lemm, taught a 2 hour womens self-defense seminat which was GREAT! He spent the entire 2 hours talking about awareness and things that can make a woman a potential victim, such as vanity plates like "I M A QT", "HOT BABE" or MARY'S CAR". These are cool, but obviously label your car as a womans and can make you a target.

Other things Jerry taught was to take all that female "foo-foo" stuff off you rear view mirror that identifies your car as a womans.

It's better to have "This car protected by Smith & Wesson" bumper stickers than "Mary Kay Representative" on the back of the car.

I actually find this offensive. Why must we as women stifle our creativity or desires about what we have in our cars etc, just to avoid "the evil man." This pattern of thought - that we must subdue ourselves to avoid becoming victims - is wrong and (I would add) induces into women (and men) an attitude of subservience. I understand that women are targeted based upon our gender, and that unfortunately we must be more aware of our surroundings than men, but I refuse to treat myself like a victim. Now, I'm a tomboy, but if I want to wear a slinky shirt, I am going to wear it. To say clothing, or something in our cars "makes us victims," is closely related to victim blaming. You are basically saying that because a women has female "foo-foo" in her car, she is asking to be targeted. That is wrong and very offensive. Women should be aware yes, because it is an unfortunate statistic that more attacks happen to women by men, but that does not mean women are to blame. You are stating with your wording that "feminine" (and I use the word loosely) things equal victims' things. That is not the case.

I didn't say that having "foo-foo" stuff makes you a victim, but rather it makes you more of a viable target in that it identifies your car as belonging to a woman. A situation where this might happen is if you're at work and have to park your car out farther in the parking lot, or while shopping at Walmart...as has happened in the past a potential attacker can park next to, or close to that car with the foo-foo stuff on the mirror, stuffed animals in the back window, or with a license plate that says "I M A QT" and wait for you.

If you'd rather express your feminism, that's your choice. All Mr. Lemm, and myself are stating is that these are the types of things that can identify you as a potential target and things a woman should be aware of.

[ninjanurse]

As a woman, who teaches women's self defense, I wholeheartedly agree! Your choice of clothing and bling do not make you a victim.....they make you an appealing target. Choose carefully!

[ossemon]

For me, the most important thing is exercises to build self esteem and self awareness.

Best self defense is to avoid the situations.

I also tell my students in self defense classes for women that a class like this is just like a first aid course: It doesn't make you a doctor..

[MasterPain]

Good point with the self esteem. It seems to be a common problem with victims of violence, especially those who grew up abused. It becomes part of a pattern of abuse.

[Evil Dave]

One of the biggest things people seem to miss while preparing for a self-defence class is how often someone gets attacked by a person they know verse a stranger. In most studies {sorry, I don't have references handy} it can be as high as 80% of victims know their attacker! This does change what we teach, how we approach what we teach and how we deal with victim stories {which always come out in SD classes}.

[ossemon]

Good point with the self esteem. It seems to be a common problem with victims of violence, especially those who grew up abused. It becomes part of a pattern of abuse.

I found that tools for building self esteem were the most effective for a feeling of mastering for women.

Doing locks, throws and punches CAN be effective, if they manage to execute them properly in training, but it is seldom so.

I give the women a few self defense techniques with everyday objects, such as lip balm, keys, cellphones and so forth, and then ask them to clutch said items whenever they feel unsafe, and picture how much damage they actually can do with such a mundane object.

I still have a scar on my hand from teaching a self defense class a couple of years back, where one of the girls jammed her lip stick into the back of my hand and dug it in when I attacked her from behind and grabbed her.

[infinitehand]

This may have already be touched upon but here I go.

The most important thing in life protection, especially for women, is mindset. You can teach a million techniques and grabs and what not, and sure maybe they can do them perfect. But if they can't turn it on, that mind set that says its you or me, what I do next decides if I'm going home or going to the hospital, or worse! And you can't teach that in a few hour seminar, unfortunately. Now obviously the ideal things to teach is awareness and avoidance.

But yes, you can't stress mindset and intent enough in a real situation.

[mal103]

I'm no expert but when I teach my mums n girls amongst my classes I try to stress that doing something is the key and not freezing.

Running away is always the best choice but not being there in the first place would help.

The young girl attacked in Bristol a while ago was a Brown belt in Karate, she fought back and punched him in the eye, just long enough to escape. The outcome could have been different.

[Harkon72]

An essential element in a Women's self defense course is MEN. They need to practice with men to make the applications effective. This will illustrate what really works.