Fighting is what you do when you've screwed up self-defense

[JiuJitsuNation]

I am currently reading The Little Black Book of Violence, by Lawrence Kane and Kris Wilder, and the title of this thread comes from a quote out of the book. This quote is found on pg 249:

Never forget that self-defense is really about not being there, using awareness, avoidance, and de-escalation to eliminate the need to fight. Fighting is what you do when you've totally screwed up your self-defense.

I'd like to hear various thoughts on this. I think the statement hits pretty close to home. Fighting really isn't anything I want to be a part of on the street. Too many variable, and too many things can go wrong, especially for something triggering pride or ego. It absolutely should be a last resort.

Thoughts and opinions?

I think this goes back to the natural order of things B. In the wild, animals go through all types of theatrics in an attempt to discourage a fight. The fact is, a physical conflict often means death for them. So they will exhaust all options before going head on. Sometimes they get into short scuffles over females and territory before one decides they can't win and walks away. This is not exclusive to the animal kingdom. I feel that if you are having to de-escalate the situation, you have already made too many mistakes. I feel everything starts with the way you carry and present yourself to the world.

I had a friend for many years, who has more than 20 years martial arts experience. He was forever getting into something with someone. Always in some verbal confrontation. He would blame it on the type of people he was "running into". He simply never could see how he brought it on himself. He was always looking, judging and in defense mode himself. And even though he may have never said anything to begin the confrontation, he never understood that it was his own physiology that invited trouble. Over half of communication is physiology. It breaks down basically like this: Only 7 percent of communication is what is actually coming out of your mouth. 38 percent is tonality and 55 percent is body language. What is your body language saying to the rest of the world? Is it a deterrent or big red neon sign that says pick me pick me. Knuckle heads want an easy target.

[bushido_man96]

I also recommend you look at Miller, Rory "Meditations on Violence", though for slightly different reasons. I'm sure there are some others, but that's one of the ones I consider particularly important.

I would like to read this book, too. There are also some words in the book by Marc "Animal" MacYoung that leads me to believe his works would be worth looking into as well.

[RazeMMA]

I am currently reading The Little Black Book of Violence, by Lawrence Kane and Kris Wilder, and the title of this thread comes from a quote out of the book. This quote is found on pg 249:

Never forget that self-defense is really about not being there, using awareness, avoidance, and de-escalation to eliminate the need to fight. Fighting is what you do when you've totally screwed up your self-defense.

I'd like to hear various thoughts on this. I think the statement hits pretty close to home. Fighting really isn't anything I want to be a part of on the street. Too many variable, and too many things can go wrong, especially for something triggering pride or ego. It absolutely should be a last resort.

Thoughts and opinions?

I think they (and you) hit the nail on the head. If we do it right, self-defense is issued and the incident is over in a matter of seconds. If we screw it up, then we could be in a combative situation (a fight) for minutes or longer - that's no good.

[JusticeZero]

Miller, Rory "Meditations on Violence...

I would like to read this book, too. There are also some words in the book by Marc "Animal" MacYoung that leads me to believe his works would be worth looking into as well.

I've read both of his books. Highly recommend both; i'd increase the recommendation a bit for an LEO, also, as he is in that field and some of the material seems to be more on topic for LEOs than say, MacYoung's vicious thug angle. Some of MacYoung's ideas are possibly not the best response for police to have to explain in a report later.

[bushido_man96]

Yeah, you are probably right about MacYoung's angle, Justice. But, I think both perspectives will shed some great light on both sides of the coins for this topic. Will try to look into getting Miller's book soon.