Fighting is what you do when you've screwed up self-defense

[bushido_man96]

I am currently reading The Little Black Book of Violence, by Lawrence Kane and Kris Wilder, and the title of this thread comes from a quote out of the book. This quote is found on pg 249:

Never forget that self-defense is really about not being there, using awareness, avoidance, and de-escalation to eliminate the need to fight. Fighting is what you do when you've totally screwed up your self-defense.

I'd like to hear various thoughts on this. I think the statement hits pretty close to home. Fighting really isn't anything I want to be a part of on the street. Too many variable, and too many things can go wrong, especially for something triggering pride or ego. It absolutely should be a last resort.

Thoughts and opinions?

[Groinstrike]

I have read this book and was very impressed by it. I believe that it should be required reading for any martial arts student. I also believe that it should be required reading for every freshman boys P.E. class. Fighting over anything other than your life, your safety, your families safety, or your general wellbeing or wellbeing of others is assinine(sp?) in my opinion. Being a high school teacher, i see "fights" all the time, these are usually glorified pushing matches.

There is a stigma held by many young people that fighting is cool and gives you "cred" or makes you "hard"(never understood that one, somewhat disturbing). The fact of the matter is that fighting is dangerous, and people are severly injured and die.

A real fight is a chaotic, dangerous, brutal enviroment and you don't want to be in the middle of one. That is makes awarness so important. If you are in a bar and can't notice who the trouble makers are, you may find yourself in the middle of a very bad situation. Even if you can't avoid a fight, your awareness of the situation can allow you to get into positive body position or near an exit.

(Sorry for the rant)

[UselessDave]

It gives you credit and makes you "hard", because it's dangerous and you could (read: could have died) die.

[Groinstrike]

It gives you credit and makes you "hard", because it's dangerous and you could (read: could have died) die.

And this is a virtue how????

[bushido_man96]

It gives you credit and makes you "hard", because it's dangerous and you could (read: could have died) die.

And this is a virtue how????

I'm not sure it is a virtue. I'm sure fighting does make one tougher, and I've heard of people fighting and gaining reputations for it. As an LEO, I have seen the guys who get arrested for such "reputations." But, this kind of thing has a habit of catching up with one in a very bad way. Why risk that chance? Especially over pride or ego. All it takes is one small, insignificant miscalculation for a fight to very wrong, very quickly. Like stepping off a curb into traffic...

[Crimson_Lotus]

You know, I really like that. I think I will be picking up the book.

I started karate for the main purpose of self defense.

Celeste

[JusticeZero]

I also recommend you look at Miller, Rory "Meditations on Violence", though for slightly different reasons. I'm sure there are some others, but that's one of the ones I consider particularly important.

[UselessDave]

It gives you credit and makes you "hard", because it's dangerous and you could (read: could have died) die.

And this is a virtue how????

Who said it's a virtue. I think there's clearly something that catches people's attention. Some find it somehow respectable.

[andym]

An excellent sentiment and totally agree with it. It looks like another book I'll have to add to my 'too buy' list. (and annoy the wife with).

[LittleW]

If I should ever come into such a situation, I can manage to get out of it without having to fight (as I wouldn't trust my MA or strength as far) or having somebody follow me (for, running is neither an option for me, I can't run fast or long).

And as to fighting just to look good? For whom?

If you have to fight to impress your friends, you should choose your friends more carefully.