Serious enough to be a threat?

[datguy]

Just a question: How should one respond to verbal threats? If somebody's threatening you and trying to get you to fight what should you do? The way I see it there's two outcomes:

1. Don't fight as it may be considered assault. Also they may have a weapon.

2. Fight and I guess you could say "teach them a lesson" so that they won't threaten anybody else.

My gut instinct would be the first of the above. What do you guys and gals think?

[JusticeZero]

This is really obvious. Someone posturing and stuff is playing a dominance game. Do you really think that it's worth applying potentially lethal force to win a contest for status that isn't even useful to you? That's like dancing naked between a church and a police station in order to get a wad of foreign currency for a country you never plan to visit and can't get exchanged.

[datguy]

Well what if you just walk away from the person and never see them again. They're gonna keep trying to fight and could possibly end up hurting somebody had you not fought and made them more "weary" of picking fights.

[JusticeZero]

That isn't your job, though. And fighting them won't stop them, or even slow them down, unless you kill them, and that's very steep for having an ego. If anything, it will make them more desperate to find some helpless people to gank to puff up their ego. If they're "trying to pick a fight", they aren't actually fighting. They've got one for sale, but you don't have to buy it.

[MasterPain]

The easy answer is that fighting is bad. However, threats are used as a way to change your behavior. What right does another person have to do so?

A few years back, I said hello to a girl at a gas station. Her boyfriend threatened me. I asked him if he had AKC papers for her. He says "What?" I said American Kennel Club papers, if you don't have them she's not your (female dog.) Then I asked her why she let him violate her right to speak to people and treat her like a dog.

This resulted in another threat upon my person. My response was "Swing or shut up."

His girlfriend then slapped and berated him for disrespecting her while I laughed at him.

Ghandi once stated that given the choice between violence and cowardice, he'd choose violence.

[JCavin]

I work in in a jail so I have to deal with these situations a lot.

The biggest factor is body language. I can usually tell what is going to happen from the way their are posturing or if there is any chance of deescalating.

For me, I only fight when I have to. I don't particularly enjoy it, but once I know it is going to happen regardless, I make sure that I don't lose. If that involves me making the first move, that's fine. Less of a chance of me losing in that case.

[sensei8]

If at all possible; walk away. But if walking away isn't possible; bring to bear all that you have to survive. After that...that's up to the police, district attorney, your lawyer, and a judge.

[MasterPain]

I work in in a jail so I have to deal with these situations a lot.

The biggest factor is body language. I can usually tell what is going to happen from the way their are posturing or if there is any chance of deescalating.

For me, I only fight when I have to. I don't particularly enjoy it, but once I know it is going to happen regardless, I make sure that I don't lose. If that involves me making the first move, that's fine. Less of a chance of me losing in that case.

You work in a jail, so the law, unless you seriously violate your position, is on your side. That makes a huge difference. Especially around here, where people favor law enforcement and consider you guilty until proven innocent. My county doesn't understand burden of proof. At least that's my understanding as foreman of a jury in an assault charge. There is a young woman with a clean record because I convinced eleven people that being charged does not make you guilty. The ignorance of the people who will judge you is the best reason to avoid a fight.

[JCavin]

Probably true.

[joesteph]

Just tonight there was a small incident that my girlfriend and I were involved in.

When she drove us back to my place, there was a car double-parked in front of the driveway. I recognized it as belonging to a couple moving into an apartment next door. As it had no one in it to move it, my girlfriend beeped the horn.

No response, so she beeped again as cars stopped behind us. The man called out that he'd be down in a minute, to which she called back to hurry up. He then announced that since she'd said that, he was going to take his time. Cars beeped immediately upon this, and he yelled out an obscenity.

I got out of my girlfriend's car, leaned on it, and called up to him that I was his next-door neighbor, that we wanted to pull into my driveway. I didn't yell a profanity in return, but I did take note of his license plate, writing it on my hand.

The woman came down, and as she got into the passenger side of that blocking vehicle, said they'd move in just a minute. I responded with a thank you. When he came down, he looked right at me; but before an argument ensued, I said again that I was his next-door neighbor and then gave him a thank you. I got back into my girlfriend's car, where I heard him call back "Sorry" and drive away.

All too often, there are altercations due to traffic situations, either b/c of an accident, someone's discourteous driving, or what-have-you. In this case (my girlfriend doesn't read KarateForums, so here goes), I question my girlfriend having yelled out to him to hurry up. I believe it would have been better to "keep cool" and have the least amount of communication with one another. She wasn't trying to goad him, she was irritated and to tell him to hurry up just came out, but I feel that's exactly what happened.

I find it interesting that this incident actually ended with him calling out "Sorry," rather than another obscenity or saying nothing.