Is It?

[holley]

Is it right for me to be mad at myself, and to hate myself? I really hate my life right now.

[JusticeZero]

Holley! Do not hate yourself!

You have, in your terminology, sinned. The origin of the term comes from Roman target practice; it means "to miss the mark". You know how you should act, and I would hope you try to achieve that ideal. You fell short this time, and you are paying the price for it.

You have attempted to do things and failed before! You stand back up, you debrief and work out what you did wrong, you plan out how you will avoid making that error in future, nurse your bumps and bruises, and set out to try again next time and not repeat your mistake.

Look back and examine your idea of what the person you want to be is like. Who do you want to be? What do you want to be? What do you need to do to make yourself more like the person you want to be? What do you need to look into to make that target more clear? What are you doing that is contrary to who you want to be? And what are you going to do to change that?

[SaiFightsMS]

Been there done that but it is not good. Find a positive path to channel that energy into. A path to improve your life.

[ShotokanKid]

I saw some of your other posts and I thought I would throw my $0.02 in.

I'm about your age, and let me tell you, so many people would do anything to be where we are today. I was having some drama going on at the beginning of this year and I talked to a few of the mentors in my life about it. Here's the takeaway message...we're so young and we have our whole lives ahead of us to look forward to.

I don't want this to sound like some lame wannabe inspirational speech. We're going to make mistakes in our lives, but we will get over them.

Get out and do something productive. Do your martial arts, go do something fun, read...don't dwell on your mistakes...they happen, time passes and you will get over them.

You are (as am I) too young to be hating life.

[DWx]

Look back and examine your idea of what the person you want to be is like. Who do you want to be? What do you want to be? What do you need to do to make yourself more like the person you want to be? What do you need to look into to make that target more clear? What are you doing that is contrary to who you want to be? And what are you going to do to change that?

^ JusticeZero said everything I was going to say, and better.

Holley, things may be sucky right now but work through it and it'll only make you stronger.

[MasterPain]

I am not a licensed therapist, and I'm far too cynical to give you a Stewart Smalley speech. I am however friends with a retired therapist. Here's his view, and I agree.

You need to think about why you hate yourself i.e. specific reasons. Then ask yourself if you could hate someone else for those same reasons. Usually the answer is no. I notice the idea was followed by the sentence "I hate my life." It is important not to define yourself by your situation.

It's fine to mad at yourself, as long as that is a motivator to change the behavior that causes you to feel that way. However, if you are mad at yourself for a behavior, then feel helpless to change it, then repeat the behavior, then are mad at yourself for it you need to change your motivation. Imagine a better behavior ,imagine the results of the new behavior, then DO it that way. With practice, things will improve.

You can't always change what is happening, but you can decide how you think. feel and act. You have to take ownership and responsibility for your feelings and actions, or you will be like dust in the wind, going where you are led with no direction of your own and no identity.

Most importantly, if these feelings persist and are strong, talk to a therapist. Everyone has an occasional bout with depression, but when it's chronic or lasts a long time there is no shame in getting help. I know someone who did and is now living a happy life. I also had a friend who didn't.

Take care of yourself.

[Ashley]

Is it right for me to be mad at myself, and to hate myself? I really hate my life right now.

Everyone of us had these moments. I often did.

[holley]

Thanks everyone I am feeling alot better now. Thanks for the support