Who's afraid of Sensei?

[Mike Flanagan]

Hi Montana

You describe 2 different types of instructor. I've known both. When I started training the po-faced surly so-and-so seemed to be the norm. Sadly I think there are still people around like this, who manipulate the teacher-student relationship to their own advantage. I can think of one whole organisation where this type of behaviour is probably encouraged in its instructors.

Happily I've also met the other kind, who hasn't been duped by the size of their own ego. These are warm, genuine people who don't need the titles and hero worship to feel good about themselves. These are the only type of instructors I'll train under nowadays.

Mike

[evergrey]

Now, I know that my instructors can all take me down. I know that they could easily do me serious harm. Maybe they could even kill me!

But!

This actually makes me feel kind of safe. Being someone with PTSD, for me, my biggest fear isn't getting hurt. My biggest fear is losing control and hurting someone innocent. I know that my instructors would never allow this, and it makes me feel safer.

If I was really truly scared of them, I wouldn't train there... being in a full contact style, I am putting my life in their hands. I had better be able to trust them.

Plus, I know that while they do have a lot of power, they also have the maturity, the humility, the goodness, and the training to not abuse it!

OSU

[bushido_man96]

I don't really "fear" my instructor, or many of the higher ranks in our organization. I'm sure if many of them wanted to, they could whip on me, if they felt the need, but there are lots of people like that in the world, as it is.

As for their ability to withhold information, and affect what I learn, I take with a grain of salt. I know that there is enough information out there to find out what it is I would like to know, if need be.

I think the biggest thing about respect, at least for me, is that it has be earned, and not commanded. If someone commands respect from others, or holds sway over them with something they want or would like to learn in order to gain that respect, then its not respect.

I do have to say I don't care for the "sir" stuff all the time, and I definitely don't like it outside of the school, either. As far as I'm concerned, outside of the school, there isn't anyone the rank stuff pretty much falls away.

[senseikellam]

I think the biggest thing about respect, at least for me, is that it has be earned, and not commanded. If someone commands respect from others, or holds sway over them with something they want or would like to learn in order to gain that respect, then its not respect.

So TRUE!

When reading through the treads, I was reminded of my first instructor. I really liked her at first and really enjoyed the classes at first. Then things changed in her life. Her husband changed professions (went into ministry and stopped practicing law). They sold there 1/2 million dollar home and moved into a rental house. She just could not accept the changes. Started drinking and you could smell it on her breath sometimes.

I had been attending the same church and considered her a friend. She started taking her problems out on her students and often even had the very young students in tears. YOU CAN"T TREAT A SMALL KID THAT WAY! She even tried to tell us who we could talked to when we were not at the dojo. She would call students at home or work just to yell at us about the dumbest things.

One night, the Sensei above her was at the dojo and I called her aside and had a long talk with her about everything. She told me to talk to my instructor openly and I said that there was no point because she could not see what she was doing and that she would not listen.

Well, I did try. I ask her to take a deep look at herself and ask herself why all her students keep quitting. She just got mad and told me never to set foot in her dojo again. I honestly thought she was going to hit me, but, I didn't care (wasn't afraid). She didn't hit me. I have made other attempts over the years to talk with her and she still will not speak to me.

I continued my training elsewhere and now have my own dojo and instruct many students. One of the first things, I try to instill upon all my students and the instructors that work at my school, is to respect everyone and to not take your problems out on each other. If someone has a problem and they can't leave it at the door so to speak, then they are more than welcome to talk to our school counselor and go bet up on a dummy or punching bag tell they are content.

My point is that, we all have issues in our lives from time to time. It is how we choose to handle them that set each of us apart from the other!

[IcemanSK]

I trained with a friend who was at the time, the number two man in his system. He is a genuinely nice guy who would, on occasion, put his belt on lower rank insecure/shy students to give them a boost. Outside the dojo, he's never made much money nor fame (nor inside the dojo, for that matter). But he is rich! He loves teaching folks & build them up.

We would often talk about how sad it was that some folks who didn't make much in life outside the dojo, would lord their rank over folks inside the dojo. It is really sad when that happens. It happens way too often.

[Groinstrike]

I would not say i am afraid of my sensei. its getting to the point when we spar that i can atleast get some shots in. What i do have is an extreme cautios respect for my sensei, he has helped me out a ton in life and i don't want to give the impression that i am unappreciative.(My sensei is also my landlord).

My sensei's instructor however, i am very much afraid of. He is a Vietnam vet who has seen a lot of crazy stuff. I have never met him personally, but just from the stories i have heard he may be one of the most intimidating people on the planet.

[evergrey]

My sensei's instructor however, i am very much afraid of. He is a Vietnam vet who has seen a lot of crazy stuff. I have never met him personally, but just from the stories i have heard he may be one of the most intimidating people on the planet.

Haha, that sounds familiar...

Though I met my sensei's sensei. And now get hook kicked by him on a fairly regular basis.

He certainly can be really intimidating. But I trust him.

[MasterPain]

I would not say i am afraid of my sensei. its getting to the point when we spar that i can atleast get some shots in. What i do have is an extreme cautios respect for my sensei, he has helped me out a ton in life and i don't want to give the impression that i am unappreciative.(My sensei is also my landlord).

My sensei's instructor however, i am very much afraid of. He is a Vietnam vet who has seen a lot of crazy stuff. I have never met him personally, but just from the stories i have heard he may be one of the most intimidating people on the planet.

Some people's eyes tell you that they've seen things. His eyes tell you that people have seen him.

[sensei8]

I would not say i am afraid of my sensei. its getting to the point when we spar that i can atleast get some shots in. What i do have is an extreme cautios respect for my sensei, he has helped me out a ton in life and i don't want to give the impression that i am unappreciative.(My sensei is also my landlord).

My sensei's instructor however, i am very much afraid of. He is a Vietnam vet who has seen a lot of crazy stuff. I have never met him personally, but just from the stories i have heard he may be one of the most intimidating people on the planet.

Some people's eyes tell you that they've seen things. His eyes tell you that people have seen him.

Solid post!!

[karatekid1975]

At first I had fear. Now I have respect.

Well said!