The best way to win a fight.

[DWx]

If I intend to get out of the car on the way home, I'll always change my top or put a hoodie or something over it. Dobok bottoms just look like loose trousers (but white ) so its not so bad going round in them. If I'm getting out of the car for more than a quick 2mins, I'll change anyway as don't want to get stuff all over my dobok.

Is it weird that we all tend to get changed in the room together where I train? guys and girls. Not a big deal really for us & everyone does it, from the junior girls right up to veteran males. Probably got a 60:40 ratio of guys to girls too so its fairly equal.

But if you're not happy Lupin1, you should definitely demand somewhere to change, and that the guys stop doing it in front of you too.

Back to the original topic :

So tell me- what's the best fight you AVOIDED getting in? We hear a lot about how people got in this or that fight, but how about de-escalating a confrontation

Never been in a (physical) fight. I think girls tend to fight more with words anyway and I think I can hold my own there/it doesn't bother me what people say. Sad to say that in high school I think my reputation preceded me too in that people knew I did an MA (even though I didn't go round telling everyone) and so nobody really tried anything.

[BDPulver]

Our dojo ( which I will be going back too soon ) has two dressing rooms. for as long as I can remember we always had females along with males.

Generally it depends on what I'll be doing after class. Or how I arrived. Never arrived with my top on, that was usually in my bag with my weapons. Generally I'd have a t shirt or hoodie with me.

If I was going to meet some friends after class then I would pack my pants in the bag as well.

But as for getting into a fight. Never had. always was able to talk my way out of said confrontatoins to the point where the other person realized it might be a mistake.

[Lupin1]

Lupin, If you've, "been coached to get out of there as soon as class ends," do you even feel comfortable there in the first place? It certainly sounds a bit discriminatory to me.

I feel comfortable there, if not a little annoyed at how they always seem to bring up the fact that I'm female. I don't think it's discriminatory. It's just the way they did it for 10 years before a woman showed up and wanted to train with them and they didn't think to change they way they do things for one girl who's only there two months a year. And I don't really mind it, even if it is a bit annoying that the guys are standing around having (usually) interesting conversations that I would love to join in, but I need to run out of there before they all start getting naked. I feel like I'm missing class bonding time. But then, that would happen whether they got changed in the classroom or went downstairs to the locker rooms by the gym, so it doesn't really matter.

[evergrey]

Haha, well me, I'd say just get used to them changing, and ignore it! And if they keep trying to draw so much attention to how female you re, smack 'em around harder during sparring until they take you seriously as a karateka. But that's just my personality, and you know better than I what your comfort levels and boundaries are...

[joesteph]

Lupin, If you've, "been coached to get out of there as soon as class ends," do you even feel comfortable there in the first place? It certainly sounds a bit discriminatory to me.

The instructor is free to say that she hasn't asked for a separate place to change, even though there's a closet there, doesn't voice any objection to the males changing in front of her, and being coached to get out almost sounds like he's trying to get rid of her b/c she wants to stay while they do change. (I'm not saying you do, Lupin.) As she herself has said, she makes a joke when someone drops his pants in front of her, instead of telling him off.

I read your post that responded to my concerns, Lupin, and though you want to be "one of the guys," there are limits. They did it this way for ten years? Welcome to today's reality, guys. Adjust!

Who's the smartest student in the dojang/dojo? The guy who changes in the closet. It can never be said that he changes in front of a female student, thereby causing her discomfort or embarrassment.

[evergrey]

I wore a coat over my gi on the way to the dojo and back, haha!

[JiuJitsuNation]

Um I built out my school with mens and womens dressing rooms and separate bathrooms.

[bushido_man96]

I actually deescalated a fight that my middle brother tried to start one time. I did a pretty good job of it, too, talking the other guy down and walking him back quite a ways from the situation, amid all the testosterone from football players high off a rival win that night. Oh, yeah, and copious amounts of alcohol contributed to the events. But, I convinced the guy it wasn't worth it, and he went away....

...Then I turned around to see that all hell had broke lose. Someone else pushed my drunk middle brother from behind, sending him rolling to the ground (with no injuries, except maybe to his pride), but this had a profound effect on my little brother, who is not little, but more like 5'10" and 350 lbs. at the time. He had also consumed copious amounts of select alcoholic beverages, and when he saw my middle brother pushed to the ground, my "little" brother turned into the Incredible Hulk, walking through the large, offensive lineman types trying to hold him back from the little guy that pushed my other brother. Well now I see all my hard work to stop a fight had gone down the drain, and then plain-clothed cops were on scene, and they were able to deescalate things quite nicely after that. Man am I glad no one got in trouble that night.

Well, that's about the most exciting one that I have.

[Lupin1]

...Then I turned around to see that all hell had broke lose. Someone else pushed my drunk middle brother from behind, sending him rolling to the ground (with no injuries, except maybe to his pride),

I think I'd be very bad at the whole "deescalating a fight" thing. If someone did that to one of my little sisters I'd be on them like white on rice in a glass of milk on a paper plate in a snowstorm...

[bushido_man96]

I didn't have a chance. I had my back turned, deescalating the first problem. What I should have done is stuffed my mouthy middle brother in a trunk and drove home.