The best way to win a fight.

[evergrey]

There's a fair amount of debate as to whether or not it is ever appropriate to go anyplace other than a dojo in your gi.

Sometimes, however, I find myself having to stop someplace to get a bit of cash for crossing the bridge, or to eat on time, since I'm on an eating plan with a strict schedule.

On Wednesday night, which was the night I was awarded the second stripe on my belt, Sensei and I had to stop at a 7-11 in Pinole so that we could get some bridge fare for him to cross the bridge with. Luckily I had about 8 bucks in my bank account that I'd forgotten about, hah. And luckily, 7-11 gives $5 cash back.

I grabbed myself a no-carb monster and headed to the counter. There were some people up there that I am guessing wandered up from El Sobrante. I am not sure if they were on drugs, or just, pardon my saying, really ghetto. The guy shouted to the woman from across the store, "HEY, THIS IS LOW FAT! I DON'T WANT LOW FAT," and wandered away from his stuff to go pick something else up.

I shuffled my feet for a moment. The cashier canceled out the other person's sale and rang up my monster. As I was getting my cash back, the man came up behind me. Fortunately, he kept himself at a distance, and Sensei was with me. I really don't care for people I don't know coming up behind me.

"So, have you learned how to kick a lot of behind* yet?"

"Just a little bit of behind*."

"Hah, well normally I'd get mad cos you cut in line, but I'm afraid you'll get all karate kid on me and kick my behind!"

"Hm," I replied, and looked at him, "you want to know the best way to win a fight?"

"Oh yeah, how's that?"

"Don't get in the fight."

I started to gather up my stuff.

"Oh see, now you listening too much to the verbage!"

I smiled a little and said, "Yeah... from people who can kick my behind*!"

He laughed, and moved out of my way.

So tell me- what's the best fight you AVOIDED getting in? We hear a lot about how people got in this or that fight, but how about de-escalating a confrontation?

[GeoGiant]

I keep a t-shirt and/or a sweat shirt in my workout bag. If I have to stop on my way home I still have my gi pants on but no one has ever said anything... prolly looks like I'm wearing PJ pants

[evergrey]

Haha, yeah... we have the one locker room, and a ton of people who won't change when anyone else is in there, mostly male... so I just don't bring my street clothes along. I tend to spar after class, until the last person with a key kicks us all out!

It would probably be a good idea for me to pack a shirt of some kind, however.

[sperki]

I find myself de-escalating conflicts between other people; I'm not usually the one in the fight. From that position is it much easier to step in and tell folks to "relax, we're just having fun here." In the couple of instances that come to mind, it is always a sporting event that gets out of hand; the trick is reminding people that we play in a recreational league (soccer). It might make the rest of the match a little more physical, but let's face it, soccer players don't really want to fight anyway

As for clothing, most of the folks I practice with change at the dojo. It's a small joint and there are only about 10 of us in class. We have a couple of screens with curtains that you pull closed while you're in there, and everybody knows that you don't go in with the curtain closed. On occasion somebody will arrive or leave without changing, but it's definitely unusual.

[Lupin1]

I tend to be the "shoot off a smart alec response and walk away before it has time to register" kind of person. I've never been in a fight and if I ever would be it'd probably be with a girl (most guys don't fight girls) and *most* girls try to keep fights very verbal. I just go along with it and keep it verbal and then we I can sick of it I just walk away. I've never had a problem with it.

The guys all change at my school. I'm the only girl in the class, so I've pretty much been coached to get out of there as soon as class ends, so I never change there. The guys change right in the middle of the floor, though (and it's happened several times while I was still in there), except for one who goes into the closet.

[joesteph]

The guys all change at my school. I'm the only girl in the class, so I've pretty much been coached to get out of there as soon as class ends, so I never change there. The guys change right in the middle of the floor, though (and it's happened several times while I was still in there), except for one who goes into the closet.

I realize this is tangental to the OP, but you have a right to a place of privacy to change, Lupin. I don't know whether to call this disrespectful or plain old social stupidity on the part of others, and you do have the right to bring this up to your instructor. Don't worry about "rocking the boat"; if your instructor has your best interests at heart, he (I doubt it's a she) will accommodate.

And if someone decides to drop his pants with you present, tell him off right then and there. Loud.

[Lupin1]

The guys all change at my school. I'm the only girl in the class, so I've pretty much been coached to get out of there as soon as class ends, so I never change there. The guys change right in the middle of the floor, though (and it's happened several times while I was still in there), except for one who goes into the closet.

I realize this is tangental to the OP, but you have a right to a place of privacy to change, Lupin. I don't know whether to call this disrespectful or plain old social stupidity on the part of others, and you do have the right to bring this up to your instructor. Don't worry about "rocking the boat"; if your instructor has your best interests at heart, he (I doubt it's a she) will accommodate.

And if someone decides to drop his pants with you present, tell him off right then and there. Loud.

Oh I know. But I don't like to call attention to the fact that I'm female. The guys in the class do that more than enough. The class was all guys for like 10 years before I came in and it usually still is (I'm serving with AmeriCorps right now and am only home at Christmas and in the summer). They're not used to having a female present and I understand that. Plus I'm not exactly the most feminine female in the world-- I think I'm tougher than some of the men. I try my best to be one of the guys.

I do speak up if anyone starts dropping his pants in front of me, but usually it turns into me throwing out jokes about his (lack of) attractiveness or that he's older than my father. It's wrong, I know, but I'd rather try my best to fit into the old boys' club rather than be "the girl".

[evergrey]

Doesn't bother me if men change in front of me, though they usually don't. *shrugs* We're all in a martial art together, we're family in a way.

[bushido_man96]

I don't change in front of every member of my family, though.

[sperki]

Lupin, If you've, "been coached to get out of there as soon as class ends," do you even feel comfortable there in the first place? It certainly sounds a bit discriminatory to me.