Awkward situation at the dojo (sparring related)

[likeke34]

Sorry, kind of a long read lol...

so a few days ago i told the class that i could only go about 50% that day and it went fine sparring really lightly (at about 50%) w/2 students before the 3rd student i was about to spar w/had to take a break because of a blister on his foot... So i was standing on the side and so was another sempai (let's call him sempai A), when he came up to me and said I'll spar w/you...

Well, he came at me full blast, punching fast and hard (we sparred once before and he didn't come at me that hard lol)... so I swept him but I held onto his gi so that he didn't go crashing into the ground, rather he fell on his back very gently... So i let him up, then he came at me again, full blast AGAIN, so i did the exact same sweep, and let him down gently, this time tapping him really softly in the head and letting out a soft kiai... A brown belt kid sparring next to us was like, "how did you do that!" which i'm sure didn't help the situation, and then we heard, "yame," and that ended the sparring session...

The next class, I come early (i always do because i teach the first class), no other black belts come that early except me, but this time, sempai A pulls up really early in regular clothes... I'm like, "Hey, you're here early," and he tells me he wanted to talk to me about the sweeps I did on him... I'm thinking he was going to ask me to show him how i caught him which is usually what i get from the sempais when i sweep them... but instead he tells me that maybe i should stop sweeping because it's dangerous and others don't know how to breakfall as good as he does... Keep in mind he didn't breakfall, because I let him down really slowly... and I've swept others right next to him many times and I've let them down slowly as well...

This is something our dojo teaches and has been doing forever, we sweep and teach sweeps... now i really don't want to spar w/this guy because i don't want him to complain and be salty that i swept him or maybe say that i hit him too hard... another sempai said he built up an image when he teaches that he's some incredible fighter and now he probably hates me because i embarrassed him... also, after he told me about the sweeps, he just left and said he'd be back next week because he has to work this week so he basically came just to talk about me sweeping him

so idk what to make of something like this lol... i kind of feel weirded out that he came extra early to "talk," to me about something that happens all the time in karate training... i really just want to avoid sparring w/this guy because our dojo goes rough when we spar and he got used to sparring w/kids since me and the other adults weren't sparring in this dojo for the past 2yrs but recently started sparring w/them again... and the thing is, he comes full blast so idk what he expects? I go easy on the ones who go easy... if they go hard, i go hard back and i'd expect the same

[Soheir]

It would seem, he just felt humiliated of what happened. Maybe he'll come down to it in time, propably knows how the thing really is and that he's over reacting. you don't have to take it very seriously, you could just ignor what he said as it is wrong to ask you not to do what you are supposed to do.

[Kuma]

If you're told to go 50% and he's going 100%, he should expect the same in return. If he's expecting to go 100% without repercussions, he should think again personally. If it happens again, I would still sweep him and if he complains, then go to the next higher up and let them know of the situation. Sounds like he's in the wrong.

[brickshooter]

I'm guessing that he got physically hurt when he got swept. But he's too proud to let on. Probably took a week off to nurse the leg.

I'd ask the instructors to teach how to sweep and how to break fall in the next couple of classes, particularly when the sempai gets back. That way everyone knows how to break fall including the sempai himself.

This isn't competition and it's not the streets. Help each other out.

[likeke34]

thanks for the replies... i should've explained more but i already knew 2 classes ago that he was going to be gone for work for the week so that's why he took off... he just repeated it to me when he was leaving...

also, i know there's no way to be 100% sure, but as sure as i could possibly be, i don't see how he got hurt on the sweeps because i pretty much carried him down in slow motion... and he went on through practice doing basics after totally fine... then he sat down and talked story after class too... he even told me thank you for not letting him hit the ground hard lol... and we have WKF mats in the dojo

that's another reason i was surprised he came just to talk to me before class...

another big issue is, I'm still pretty young (relatively), however I'm the 2nd highest rank in the dojo... only our sensei outranks me... so i should basically be able to handle these situations but being young and outranking sempais who are a bit older than me, makes it hard sometimes...

i just want to make sure i handle the situation correctly and in the most responsible way

i probably wont be sweeping him anymore, but i wont stop sweeping the other students because IMO that's how they learn... in fact, there's one student who i have trouble sweeping now because he ended up catching on to how i was catching him (and he used to always ask me how i caught him)

i probably should tell him that if he goes hard, then i'll go hard, if he goes light, then i'll go light... i guess i'm just confused because i thought it would be common sense that if you attack someone hard and punch them hard then expect the same back... and the sweep was really soft and slow, maybe the little tap to his head and small kiai was unnecessary but i meant no harm, it was just to show him that he's going 100% and i could hit him back so to speak

[Shizentai]

That sounds rough. I've never gotten in trouble for sweeping before, but I have gotten sparring partners who are not happy when a small female gets the better of their technique (especially when a person comes in like that... it's like all of their energy is being handed to you on a silver platter). I too have gotten half-hearted advise afterwards that sounds questionable, almost like my senpai was making excuses for himself/herself.

I find the best solution is to ask the senpai in question directly. Ask him as respectfully as possible why he believes that sweeping in general is dangerous. Explain the concerns that you expressed in this post. Ask him if he or someone he knew was injured by you or anyone else's sweep. Then listen carefully to everything he says.

That way, if he was just trying to tell you what to do for the sake of establishing a pecking order, then he won't have a good reason and you'll know for sure. But also, in the off chance that he actually has some really good specific reason or experience he never explained to you, then you can take the opportunity to learn something.

[Ti]

Be glad it wasn't like this.

[likeke34]

That sounds rough. I've never gotten in trouble for sweeping before, but I have gotten sparring partners who are not happy when a small female gets the better of their technique (especially when a person comes in like that... it's like all of their energy is being handed to you on a silver platter). I too have gotten half-hearted advise afterwards that sounds questionable, almost like my senpai was making excuses for himself/herself.

I find the best solution is to ask the senpai in question directly. Ask him as respectfully as possible why he believes that sweeping in general is dangerous. Explain the concerns that you expressed in this post. Ask him if he or someone he knew was injured by you or anyone else's sweep. Then listen carefully to everything he says.

That way, if he was just trying to tell you what to do for the sake of establishing a pecking order, then he won't have a good reason and you'll know for sure. But also, in the off chance that he actually has some really good specific reason or experience he never explained to you, then you can take the opportunity to learn something.

thanks, i will talk to him about it and see what he has to say... one thing that gets me is that he never mentioned it before until i did it to him... but like your post states, i should talk to him and see what he thinks so i can understand where he's coming from... and personally, i'd be salty too if a girl was beating me haha, j/k... sorta

as for the yahara video lol... that guy is rough, i remember seeing an old JKA clip where he fell off balance and was in a weird handstand position, but as he was falling he threw an upside down mawashigeri that whacked his opponent really hard (i think it was mori sensei, my senseis dads first teacher but i'm not sure lol)...

thanks for all the advice... i just never experienced something like this because we usually just train, talk, then leave... the only complaints i've heard was when parents tell me they think a sempai is too strict on their kids lol... so it's a bit new to me

[tallgeese]

The other thing to think about is that this guy seems to be high maintainence to spar with. I don't have time for it, so just don't. I know, it's less than great in the attitude department but it's a hassle to try and learn and work stuff with the guy who wants to bang every session.

So, for me, I'd only train with him on heavy days and not the rest of the time if he can't understand 50%. Maybe I'd talk to him about it, but that'd be it.

A bulk of live training should be done at a learing, safe level of contact. Hence your 50% pace. He needs to get that. If he's ostracised a bit for a time it will go a long way towards him getting the concept.

[Dobbersky]

Not too sure what the "rules" are for Kumite? In my Dojo, the Lower Grade controls the pace.

If he likes to go full on, just stop and ask him directly, in front of the class, "why are you going in more that what has been directed?"

Your Sensei SHOULD be aware of who's sparing and the content of it, I would, if you don't get any joy with him, speak to Sensei.