williamdd Posted October 20, 2010 Author Share Posted October 20, 2010 I am really sorry this took me so long to reply! I wanted to say thank you to the first two fellows who replied, and got tied up, and then for some reason I didn't get any notices about all the other replies, but I was just blow away by all the feedback! This is a great, generous site and I really do appreciate all of the help and input. Thank you!To answer a few questions, I wasn't totally clear earlier. I'm taking the classes too, which may partly expain the $$. Our kids started in group classes. They're both adopted so, as with the fellow who mentioned special needs, they carry a lot of extra baggage and bring their own special needs as well. They've had emotional, social and learning difficulties in school. We really felt that karate was a good place for them to be.... for self-confidence, discipline, etc. In a group class, though, they just fell behind. Distracted, unmotivated, couldn't keep up. They did that for a couple of years. So, we figured if Dad was in there with them, it might encourage them, and I might be able to help them more at home. And it might be a good experience for them to do this with me. It's very difficult because, the truth is, they are often not motivated to do it on their own. A lot of times, I've really got to "take their hands" and help them through. I wish I could say that they should just make their own decisions and do what they enjoy. But honestly, given their ages and maturity levels, if I left it up to them, I think they'd be happy to sit in front of the tv all day. And complain about how bored they are It has a lot to do with their emotional make-up, which has a lot to do with the fact that they were adopted. But they really don't have a lot of "drive" for anything. That's something that I'm hoping to help them develop as they grow up. So, for now, me and my wife have decided that we are going to try to help them make good decisions. I'm hoping that one way I can do that is by setting a good example and doing my best in class with them. Everything that was said about the belts makes a lot of sense. Our Sensei has been telling us that too, but I'm not sure I really got it until now. My concern was about whether or not they could make it past a certain point, but I shouldn't worry about that. I think what I need to do is look at this as a time commitment, at least until they are young teens, and everything starts to get changed up again! Some of my confusion before writing this was because there seems to be a lot of programs in our area where the kids sign up and two years later, they're black belts. I see this sort of thing posted up on the walls where the kids go to school. The kids post their homework on the walls outside their rooms..... what are your hobbies: "well, I started karate last December, and now I'm a black belt". I'm told that there are a lot of programs like that; that it isn't unusual. I can't imagine that they learn a lot. But, what can I say; I'm a novice here! I'm just trying to get an idea here for what is the norm. Everyone's feedback has helped a lot. Our Sensei is also very much into physical fitness. My kids, not so much. Again, whether they want it or not, it's an important lesson to learn, at least to some degree. I'm trying to help them "get" this. But it can be hard finding a happy median.Again, thank you all very, very much! Sites like this are what make the web a friendly place Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr_obvious Posted October 23, 2010 Share Posted October 23, 2010 Welcome! Some thoughts, might help you out..... Remember that MA isn't a videogame....you don't win, or "finish." Think of it more like learning to drive; you wouldn't stop driving after passing the DMV test, proving you can operate a motor vehicle.A resounding jest bandied about on KF, might help your kids out when confronted by a belt factory student at school. Belt factories charge thousands for a black belt, eBay has 'em for $2.95 + shipping. Black belt doesn't necessarily equal "competent martial artist." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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